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Ask a Thoroughly Meticulous Script Consultant!

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Jim Mercurio

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on Jim Mercurio of A-List Screenwriting.

Jim Mercurio is a filmmaker, writer and teacher. The high-concept horror-thriller he directed, Last Girl, won best feature in the 2012 DOA Bloodbath Film Festival (as #12). The Washington Post called his Making Hard Scrambled Movies (production tutorials) “a must for would-be filmmakers.” His workshops and instructional DVDs, including his recent 10-hour set Complete Screenwriting: From A to Z to A-List, have inspired tens of thousands of screenwriters. One of the country’s top story analysts, Jim works with Oscar-nominated and A-List writers. He is finishing up the first screenwriting book that focuses solely on scene writing, The Craft of Scene Writing, for Linden Publishing. To find out about working with Jim, visit his website at http://www.jamespmercurio.com.

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

I used to try to see almost every film that was released in a year. Lately, for better or worse, I have had less time to be a viewer. Although I only watch 3-4 TV series at any given time, I really liked True Detective. I like Girls. Lena has a great voice and the show, as well as You’re the Worst, for me, fills in for the quirky little indies that seem to be on the decline. I thought Her was exciting because it was high-concept but indie in spirit. And it could have been made for almost any price. It was one of those films where I can say, “I wish I had made it,” or “I could have or should have written that.” I also look for gems of craft in surprising places. Who can’t love – capital L-O-V-E — the moment in The Avengers when Bruce Banner reveals the secret to the Hulk: “I’m always angry”?

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

After grad school, I wanted to figure out screenwriting inside-and-out because I loved screenwriting but I also thought it would be a means to be able to direct. I read probably every screenwriting book and resource available in the 90s. I worked as a development exec for an indie company owned by one of the producers of Gas-Food-Lodging. And then I attended 120 hours of classes from the so-called “gurus” including, McKee, Hauge, Truby, etc. for a review article in Creative Screenwriting. That experience expanded my perspective and spurred my ability to be able to identify and clearly articulate issues in a script. I would do notes for friends and, by word of mouth, I eventually got more people who wanted feedback, so that’s how I started working as a story analyst. With my development background, my private story analysis and contests I have run, I have read more than 5,000 feature screenplays.

3. Is recognizing good screenwriting something you think can be taught or learned?

For the most part, yes, assuming that a reader has some affinity for screenwriting and storytelling. Recognizing a good or very good script that is a good read is a common developable skill. A rarer skill is when a reader can accurately determine whether a script will play as a film. Some scripts deliver a smooth and emotionally satisfying read but would not translate as well to film as would some scripts that may be a less satisfying read.

4. What are the components of a good script?

I like to see solid execution: great dialogue, exploiting concept, unity of theme… all the craft elements that I preach. No longer in the acquisition side of development, I have a more solipsistic approach to material. I want to find scripts I can direct or produce: High-concept scripts with modest budget a la Her or Buried. Or a script with such awesome characters and dialogue that it is imminently castable or packageable. In general, with shrinking or nonexistent development budgets, I encourage all writers to nail the execution, so their scripts are as ready as possible to being shot.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

My development for outside companies consists of intensive feedback on a few scripts or rough cuts per year. I no longer read 20 scripts per week, so that’s why I combined these two questions. And I will deal with craft issues below.

Impatience. Writers want to rush material to market that isn’t ready. In general, scripts usually aren’t done. The execution isn’t there. It’s several drafts away from being ready to be a movie. For my clients who aren’t already successful writers, the best thing they can do for their career is to go from good to great and write an amazing script.

Clarity. Writers often don’t have a clear picture of how their material relates to the marketplace. I have made several low-concept feature films, so you can learn from my, ah, pain and experience. If you are writing low-concept dramas, unless the script is a masterpiece or can be cast with name actors, you have to accept that the script will only be valuable as a writing sample. If your goal is to sell your next script, you are going to have to say “no” to a lot of your story ideas based solely on their concepts.

7. What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

There are no rules and break them at your peril.

I spent a few years and tens of thousands of dollars creating a 10-hour DVD set where I tried to cover the dozens of craft elements writers need to know including story structure, theme, character orchestration, dialogue, writing cinematically, concept, handling exposition and scene writing. I am not sure I can narrow it down to just three from a craft perspective.

I work with Oscar-nominated and Emmy-winning talent whose material is always good, yet they aren’t satisfied. If successful professionals are still fighting to make their scripts better and improve their craft, so should beginners. Regardless of your genre, aim to transcend it. Rewrite it until it sings. Along with concept, one of the most important factors in giving your script a chance is nailing the execution.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

If you are giving a recommend that means you are reading for someone else and evaluating the material relative to their tastes. There have been scripts that I have loved that weren’t right for the company I was reading for. I get more excited about writers who are a recommend. I want to know what else they have or what they are considering working on next.

There were writers I championed while running the Screenwriting Expo Competition whose scripts would be almost impossible to produce – a $200-million biopic of Michelangelo; a magical realist masterpiece for which there is literally not a young actress in the world whose box office value could carry the movie; a chamber-play western; a devastatingly bleak low-concept drama. But more than a decade later, I keep in touch with those writers: Bill, Nathan, Naida and Lorelei.

I have even helped a few of them to get some non-guild writing work. Not life-changing money but the chance for valuable experience. A reminder that a great writing sample, even if it doesn’t sell, has tremendous value.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

See above.

Of course, they are worth it. But be practical about what you hope to achieve from them. Only a miniscule percentage of writers should look at contests as a money-making endeavor.

But contests can pay off in other ways. They can inspire you creatively, encourage you to make your deadlines and help to promote your work. There is also a social aspect. They can lead to you meeting other people.

They can also be a tool to evaluate your writing. There is always subjectivity in reading scripts, but if your script hasn’t advanced in 9 out of 10 (appropriate) contests, then I would suggest not spending more money on contests. Work on making the script better and maybe even consider spending your contest budget on feedback.

10. How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

They can look in to working with me at my story analysis site, www.jamespmercurio.com, or check out my DVD set Complete Screenwriting: From A to Z to A-List at www.a-listscreenwriting.com. My coaching and mentoring approach creates a relationship with clients where I can push and challenge them throughout several drafts of a script until it’s where we want it to be.

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

I have gross points in my last film, so if it ever makes money, that will be my favorite piece of the pie.

Ask an Extraordinarily Insightful Script Consultant!

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Andrew Hilton

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on Andrew Hilton, aka the Screenplay Mechanic.

Andrew Hilton grew up in the U.K. and studied film in England and New York, before working in motion picture development at almost every major studio. Having read more than 13,000 scripts, he is one of the most highly-regarded independent screenplay analysts in the film industry.

Andrew’s first produced credit as a screenwriter was the psychological thriller FATAL TRUST.  He also rewrote and Co-Produced the indie thriller BRAKE, and served as a Co-Executive Producer on the feature documentary WHY WE RIDE.  Andrew also has several feature projects in active development, including his own big-budget action picture BULLET RUN and the Dickens-inspired action thriller THE GUNS OF CHRISTMAS PAST.

What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

While I’m more of a feature guy, I love that NEWSROOM is back on TV. At least in terms of dialogue, there are very few screenwriters on Aaron Sorkin’s level. He has the ability to craft dialogue exchanges that are as mesmerizing as any action sequence. Some criticize the heightened reality of his rapid-fire, snappy dialogue, arguing that it’s contrived and inauthentic. Personally, I’m going to savor every episode of this final season.

How’d you get your start reading scripts?

I attended film school in the UK and New York, then finished my final year of university in Los Angeles so I could start interning at the studios. My first gig was working for a producer at Universal and I spent six months reading scripts for him. I then moved to Warner Bros. and worked in the story department of one of my favorite producers, Joel Silver (DIE HARD, LETHAL WEAPON, etc.). After six months there, I landed my first paying job at Paramount, as a Story Editor for Mario Kassar (FIRST BLOOD, TERMINATOR, etc.). It was there I began teaching others to write coverage and really honed my story skills.

Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

The ability to recognize good writing can be learned, but recognizing a good movie is a skill far fewer people possess because it’s partly instinctual. Consequently, there are many agents, producers and actors in the industry who struggle to recognize a good script. That’s one of multiple reasons why so many sub-par projects get off the ground. Often, producers and studio execs are throwing stories against the wall (or into theaters) to see what sticks. On the flipside, there are people in the industry – from readers to top producers – who consistently find that diamond in the rough. 

What are the components of a good script?

It really all comes down to two things: Can this story entertain an audience for a couple of hours? Is that audience going to be big enough to turn a profit? It’s that Goldilocks balance of art and business, and reconciling that reality is one of the first goals every new writer should work towards. You could argue that there are good scripts which won’t be profitable at the box office, but who is that script “good” for? It might make a solid writing sample, but a genuinely good script is one that’s well-written and will make some serious coin in the marketplace once it’s produced.

So what specific components in a script will ensure the audience is entertained? An interesting protagonist is essential. We don’t necessarily have to like the hero, but it’s crucial we find them interesting. Ideally, the screenplay will also feature compelling conflict, engrossing dialogue, and a brisk pace which holds our attention. The end game is to ensure the audience leaves the cinema feeling completely satisfied. Nobody likes leaving a restaurant hungry, and nobody enjoys leaving the multiplex feeling as if they just wasted $15 on a crappy film.

What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

Overwriting the narrative to the point where clarity suffers is very common. Screenwriting is somewhat unique in that one of the best traits a scribe can have is efficiency of language. Don’t use twenty words to describe something when ten will do. Don’t try and impress anyone with your vocabulary or your grasp of metaphors and similes. Just write the most compelling and vivid movie using the fewest words.

What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

Anything post-apocalyptic is becoming tiresome. MAD MAX was released in 1979 and the spec marketplace is still saturated with clones.

Ditto for “man on the run” stories. Whether the hero is in possession of a flash-drive, witnessed a crime, or underwent some kind of experiment, these screenplays always follow the same structure and climax. There’s often a foot chase in a subway and the protagonist almost always ends up sleeping with the love interest in a hotel. I read one or two of these most weeks.

I’m happy to read big expensive sci-fi epics, but 99.99% of the time the author needs to realize they’re writing it for themselves because it’s not going anywhere. If nobody in this town knows you and the story isn’t based on an existing IP, where’s the $200m budget going to come from?

Another common formula is the comedy about the dishonest hero. Often, these are romantic comedies which feature the protagonist misleading or lying to the love interest. The charade has to be maintained throughout Act II, at which point the love interest learns the truth and shuns the hero, leading to a climatic reconciliation (often a race to an airport).

All that said, if you have a unique conceptual twist, or craft one of these stories in a genuinely fresh and commercial way, there are still plenty of potential buyers out there. Clichés often become clichés because they work repeatedly. It’s also worth pointing out that this is where an experienced story analyst can be most useful. Some people rail against spending money on coverage, but I’ve read well over 7000 screenplays so I might be able to tell you how often I’ve seen a specific idea before and can give you suggestions on how to make your work differ from past fare.

What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

Not “rules” per se, but…

Know your audience.

Don’t bore anyone.

Always remember a complete stranger will eventually have to write a huge check to make your story come to life. They’ll want that money back.

Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

I used to read approximately 70% of major theatrical releases when they were still at the script stage, either for production companies or foreign distributors. Hence, I’ve done coverage on everything from THE SIXTH SENSE to THE LORD OF THE RINGS. Many of my clients have written great projects too, most recently Jesse Chatham with LAND and Bao Tran with THE PAPER TIGERS.

How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

Some are worthwhile, e.g. the Nicholl, but most are akin to entering the lottery. If you’ve written a genuinely brilliant piece of work, it may still go unnoticed because most contest judges are inexperienced and all of them are underpaid. However, there are enough lightning strikes to keep the contest industry alive, and if a writer can afford it I see no harm in rolling the dice. More often than not, it’s akin to a farm program where a small-time manager or agent may discover you. If you’re considering the contest world, target the established ones which have a good reputation.

How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

My website www.screenplaymechanic.com, my Mechanic Facebook page, or simply email me at screenplaymechanic@gmail.com.

Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

I’m going savory on this one. Steak and ale (with a pint, of course).

Finding the positive in a negative

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Converting something acidic to tasty and refreshing requires a little bit of knowing how
Converting potentially acidic to tastily refreshing requires a little bit of knowing how

Notes on both my western and mystery-comedy specs have been flowing in steadily from friends and trusted colleagues over the past couple of months, and the results have certainly been a mixed bag of opinions.

The general message is “Love the concept, solid structure, but ____, ____ and ____ needs work.” The individual comments, of course, are much more assorted. Happily, none are of the “This sucks! Do the world a favor and give up writing!” nature.

Show the same material to half a dozen people, and you’ll end up with half a dozen different reactions. And as you would expect, each one is helpful in its own way, especially if it includes something you may not necessarily agree with.

But here’s where it gets even better – take all of those notes and use the ones that you think make the most sense. Apply them to your script. Does it immediately read better?

Now let’s take it a step further, but this time with those comments you don’t agree with. What is about them that doesn’t work for you? Give ’em another look. Maybe there’s something in there worth using.

I got some great notes on the western, and one of the suggestions was cutting or at least shortening some sequences in Act Two. Of course, my initial reaction was “Not a chance!”

But this was defeating the whole purpose of getting notes – to make the script better. And me being so obstinate about it wasn’t helping.

So I read it again, this time with a more open mind. Would this work? Would it accomplish what I needed it to? The suggestion started to make sense. I’d already cut 12 pages out of this thing, so there was no reason I couldn’t trim a few scenes down. It wouldn’t hurt the story, and could actually improve it in terms of moving things along.

You get notes to help point out what’s wrong with your script, or at least what needs to be fixed. You can use them however you want, but to totally disregard them isn’t doing you any favors.

Getting my fair share of yays and nays

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Always the case
Reactions will always be mixed

Details about the low-budget comedy have been kept under wraps because I wanted to develop the story some more before pitching it to my final-say editor. If she liked it, then it’s good to go.

She did. Quite enthusiastically.

So now it’s all about coming up with potential scenes and sequences, then reorganizing them to tell the story in the best and funniest ways possible.

I’ve gone back and forth about how much information to disclose, but realize it would be better to at least offer up some minimal details.

So here it is.

Working title: An Angel Walks Into A Bar…

“After literally dying onstage, a caustic comedian’s only shot at afterlife redemption is to fix three of the many lives he’s ruined.”

This stems from the “What if…?” question of “What if a Don Rickles-like comedian was your guardian angel?”

I like the concept, think it’s pretty original and see lots of potential within the story. I’ve got a primary storyline and three subplots, all of which are inter-connected. It’s a bit of a challenge to put together, but that’s part of the appeal.

Just to test the waters, I posted the logline on a few online forums. Comments ranged from “Sounds fantastic!” to “Who are these three people? Why them?” Some read like they’re ticking items off a Screenwriting 101 checklist (“You don’t have ____, so it’s no good.”)

The one that really threw me was the claim that you could replace “comedian” with another occupation and it would still be the same story. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but I heartily disagree. A proctologist, maybe, but not much else.

It all comes down to either you like the logline and it makes you want to see the movie, or you don’t and it doesn’t.

Honestly, I really need to stop posting on these forums. I’ve got a pretty solid network of trusted writer colleagues with more experience and whose opinions I put more value in than the anonymous members of the internet community.

So it looks like I’ll be keeping busy for the time being with this and the rewrites of the western and the mystery-comedy.

Updates as things develop.

Ask a Book-Writing Script Consultant!

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howard casner

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on Howard Casner, who has written an e-book about his experiences – More Rantings and Ravings of a Screenplay Reader, and also hosts the podcast Pop Art.

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

Right now, screenwriting and moviemaking in the U.S. are at a crisis point. Very little is being done that is interesting or exciting. Most of it is bland, boring, or even if entertaining, falls short of a real success when it comes to quality. I feel we are treading water, waiting for a group of filmmakers and writers to come rescue us. We are in need of a new wave.

The film with the strongest screenplay this year so far has been BORGMAN, a movie from the Netherlands about someone who is pure evil worming himself into the household of an upper middleclass family. It is what I call a WTF film, strange and imaginative with strong characters and fascinating story.

However, my favorite movie of the year so far is UNDER THE SKIN, a sci-fi movie made in Scotland about an alien who seduces men to a house where they are then killed for fodder for another planet. Both are highly original, something that I feel is often missing from American films.  Right now, the two countries producing the most interesting and exciting movies are South Korea and Romania.

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

Before I moved to L.A. in 2001, I was in the theater and read scripts constantly. But once here, I met someone in a coffee shop who let me use him as an intro to the person in charge of the Slamdance Screenplay Competition.

After doing a sample coverage (which worried me because I didn’t like the screenplay, but it had won an award the year before), I was taken on. That year I discovered the first place screenplay, Song of Silence by Miranda Kwok, at the last minute and for a few years after that kept discovering the first place winner.

This then gave me the background to get work, also through connections, at Here! Networks and Final Draft Big Break Screenplay Contest.

3. Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

You can be taught to find screenplays that whoever is paying you wants to find. They give you a list of criteria and you can probably get by on that.

Recognizing good writing has some element of instinct to it. You need the ability to create a vision inside your head of whatever is described and hear the voices of the characters, which to some degree, is something you either can do or you can’t.

You also need to have as large a background in seeing movies and reading screenplays as you can. The more you read, the more movies you’ve seen, the easier it is to recognize what is new and original, and you can weed out what is formulaic and has been done many times before. And, of course, you really need to be able to do this and be a fast reader (some people are slower readers than others and that can be a problem).

4. What are the components of a good script?

One problem is that what “good” means can vary from person to person. I see the words “great” and “good” often used to describe screenplays and I’m not quite sure what they mean in the context of the person writing.

If you mean “good” in that commerciality is irrelevant and the screenplay has inherent quality apart from box office and other practical considerations (which is how I use the term), then the most important component nine times out of ten are characters (there are always exceptions). Without strong and vibrant characters, almost nothing else matters. You can have the most original high concept in the world, but with flat and uninteresting characters, I won’t care.

But after that, you need a screenplay that is readable and clear with an interesting plot (though, again, interesting is ambiguous; what is fascinating to one person is a bore to another).

But perhaps even more important, a good screenplay is one written by someone who has a vision, a voice, something to say, who writes from the heart, from a need to get a story out there.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

Besides the obvious, which is a screenplay that is horrendously formatted, or is almost unreadable, a story that is hard to follow and understand, with novelistic and literary narrative rather than focused and to the point narrative, and screenplays by people who don’t seem to understand the basic concept as to how to write a screenplay in the first place…

I would first have to say that it would include screenplays written according to formula, to a structure they got from a book or guru, screenplays written by people who have nothing to say and don’t have a real, interior reason to write a screenplay. That’s why the first of my ten commandments for screenwriters is to not read a book, or take a class, or use a guru in writing a screenplay until after you have written two or three first.

Beyond that, it’s screenplays that are concept and plot driven rather than character driven; overcomplicated plots; and screenplays written about a subject matter (like crime and espionage thrillers) where the writer hasn’t done the research.

Some of my pet peeves: characters not going to the police when the opportunity presents itself; cell phones lost, conveniently destroyed or losing power; not using social media when it would resolve a situation in no time; female roles that are underdeveloped, or in which women are humiliated for no reason; using lack of insurance as a plot motivator (by the time the movie gets made, the ACA may make many of these plot turns outdated). I could go on.

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

The romcom where a woman just feels her life is incomplete unless she is married, or at least in a serious relationship and that is her main goal; as a corollary to that, women characters who can only be defined by their emotional relationship to men; a group of people, especially teens or young adults, getting stuck in the middle of nowhere attacked by country folk; screenplays that are about being gay, rather than have a central character who just happens to be gay (especially coming out stories).

As a corollary to this, stories that start with grabber scenes (they are a cliché and they almost never really intrigue me), especially if the grabber scene is a dream or someone being chased through some woods.

7. What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

-That the quality of the script might not help you in and of itself and the better quality it is, the harder it might be to ever get the screenplay produced.

-As a corollary to the above, it’s who you know, not how well written your screenplay is, that can make the difference (though your screenplay has to have some modicum of skill to it, or just about nothing matters).

-The way movies are getting made (at least in the U.S.) is changing. You may have to do your first screenplay yourself, and if so, do something new, original and with a vision.

I will add one additional rule: learn how to format a screenplay and learn how to write a screenplay that is a smooth and easy read. This last is far more important than new writers ever seem to want to admit. I don’t know why, but they’ll often be open to any other suggestions, but bristle when I mention their formatting and narrative.

That is why my second commandment for writers is that the exception to reading a book on playwriting is that you must read a book on formatting; no exceptions.  Your narrative can always be reduced by 10 to 20% and will not only not hurt the screenplay, but probably benefit it.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

Many. Every year I read quite a few of those. I can’t really comment on any I’ve read for current contests, since the contests are still ongoing, but one that I still don’t understand why it hasn’t ever been made is “The most successful television personality that a Middle Eastern country has ever seen has to flee the country after a revolution; years later, working in a bar in Germany, he is given the chance to reclaim his glory if he will just publicly apologize for every negative thing he has ever said about the new regime”.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

It’s not so much whether they are worth it. Based on the way things work in the U.S. right now, and the way the economy is working, they are sort of a necessary evil.

This may sound odd coming from someone who makes a living doing coverage and reading for contests, but if you can bypass contests and readers for companies and agencies completely, and get to the sources themselves, to the immediate people who can make a film and get those persons to read your script, do that.

But getting to the position where you can do that takes a lot of time and in the meanwhile, you need to find ways to get some sort of resume and approval of your writing, and screenplay contests are a place to start.

At the same time, there’s little point in entering a contest unless you have a screenplay that has been honed and worked on and is getting positive responses from others. Otherwise, you’re just throwing money away.

10. How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

For more detailed and full information about myself and my coverage services, go to my blog Rantings and Ravings.

I’m also offering a new service: so much emphasis has been given lately to the importance of the opening of your screenplay, I now offer coverage for the first twenty pages at the cost of $20.00 USD. For those who don’t want to have full coverage on their screenplay at this time, but want to know how well their script is working with the opening pages, this is perfect for you. I’ll help you not lose the reader on page one.

And of course, my e-book More Rantings and Ravings of a Screenplay Reader can be purchased on Amazon.

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

When I was young, my family would make Lemon Chiffon and Chocolate Pie, which were my favorites. I’m not a big fan of hard crust pies. I prefer things like cheesecake.