Details about the low-budget comedy have been kept under wraps because I wanted to develop the story some more before pitching it to my final-say editor. If she liked it, then it’s good to go.
She did. Quite enthusiastically.
So now it’s all about coming up with potential scenes and sequences, then reorganizing them to tell the story in the best and funniest ways possible.
I’ve gone back and forth about how much information to disclose, but realize it would be better to at least offer up some minimal details.
So here it is.
Working title: An Angel Walks Into A Bar…
“After literally dying onstage, a caustic comedian’s only shot at afterlife redemption is to fix three of the many lives he’s ruined.”
This stems from the “What if…?” question of “What if a Don Rickles-like comedian was your guardian angel?”
I like the concept, think it’s pretty original and see lots of potential within the story. I’ve got a primary storyline and three subplots, all of which are inter-connected. It’s a bit of a challenge to put together, but that’s part of the appeal.
Just to test the waters, I posted the logline on a few online forums. Comments ranged from “Sounds fantastic!” to “Who are these three people? Why them?” Some read like they’re ticking items off a Screenwriting 101 checklist (“You don’t have ____, so it’s no good.”)
The one that really threw me was the claim that you could replace “comedian” with another occupation and it would still be the same story. Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, but I heartily disagree. A proctologist, maybe, but not much else.
It all comes down to either you like the logline and it makes you want to see the movie, or you don’t and it doesn’t.
Honestly, I really need to stop posting on these forums. I’ve got a pretty solid network of trusted writer colleagues with more experience and whose opinions I put more value in than the anonymous members of the internet community.
So it looks like I’ll be keeping busy for the time being with this and the rewrites of the western and the mystery-comedy.
Updates as things develop.
Maximum Z 
Holy effing ess. That is the perfect high concept comedy.
The criticism about the occupation is technically correct but misses the creative point entirely. In fact it’s such an off base note you’d probably be correct to drop whoever gave it.
Notes reminds me I have to get some to you. Everything in my life has been thrown off by getting a job that might not suck. Although I still can’t wrap my head around that possibility.
Thanks for the kind words. Hope the finished product surpasses expectations.
Congrats on the job! Enjoy it, and get the notes to me at your convenience.
Solid logline.
Vague enough not to give much away, yet informative enough to make me want to read/see it.
Gave me enough without taking me by the hand and saying, “C’mere, idiot, follow me. I’m taking you here, here and there.” I hate those.
Thanks! I really appreciate it.
A few other responses have tended to be more on the…academic side. One suggested identifying the three people “to give it more of a hook,” but to me that would make it unnecessarily longer.
So, sticking with what I’ve got.