Ask a Fount-of-Knowledge Script Consultant!

Matt Lazarus

*note – Matt passed away in July 2020

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on Matt Lazarus of The Story Coach.

Matt Lazarus has worked in the industry since 2003. He started in development with jobs at Untitled Entertainment, CAA, and Platinum Studios (Cowboys and Aliens). He joined the WGA in 2007 by selling a horror script to RKO, and he sold a movie to Cartoon Network in 2011. Matt’s story coaching was designed to be affordable, regular, and useful, and he excels at breaking advanced concepts into simpler processes and exercises.

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

SHORT TERM 12, a thoughtful, sad drama about a foster home for displaced youth and the human condition. I saw the trailer and it hooked me. The world, performances and characters are all on point. It’s a great example of a drama, and of wringing the most entertainment and potential out of a simple concept.

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

I moved to Los Angeles in 2003, and I got my first assistant job after working really hard at an unpaid internship. I wanted to be a writer, and I talked about it way too much. Anyway, I got good at reading scripts and it always provided me an entry to meeting lit agents and executives who wanted to ask follow up questions on material. I’ve been a freelance reader for some studios for years, and there was a time I was even unironically working on a book on how to cover (most of it made it onto my blog). I’ve been a sporadically working WGA writer since 2007, but the financial security of coverage has always given me something to fall back on.

3. Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

Good writing is hard to define. You want it to be accessible: a mediocre scifi appeals to scifi fans, a great one appeals to everyone. You want it to be engaging: no one goes to the movies to not be affected. You want it to help your career. It’s great to sell a script, but if a script doesn’t sell but gets me in a room with someone who can hire me for my next job, I’ll take it.

Anything can be learned. Not everyone who studies piano will become Glen Gould, but they will get somewhat better at piano. I was pretty cineliterate when I moved to LA, and my years in the development trenches helped me marry my base of knowledge to a working understanding of how the industry works and what the powers that be tend to look for.

4. What are the components of a good script?

“Good” is a hard term to define, a semantic minefield. The components of a good script are the same as the bad ones: they both have the same main four (character names, dialogue, sluglines,descriptions), they both take up the same amount of space.

The difference is harder to measure. We see a thousand faces a day, but only a few make us stop and say wow. We hear new songs on the radio every day, few of them will become our favorite. Most would agree that a good writer can do more in the same space than a bad writer, but the ways in which they are better will always and should always be argued over.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

The most common is writing a script without a premise. I use something called the premise test. It breaks things down to what’s simple. It’s not the only way to look at scripts, but it’s as good as any, better than most:

“An <ADJECTIVE> <ARCHETYPE> must <GOAL> or else <STAKES>. He does this by <DOING> and (optionally) learns <THEME>.

This seems simple, but the doing is the real meat of the movie. If a naive accountant must raise 100k or his daughter dies, different doings give you very different movies (for example, he could win a surf contest, kill a vampire lord, or invent a time machine and go back to 1979). If you can’t explain what’s interesting about your script in 50 words, you’re unlikely to improve things by writing out 100 boring pages.

Writing is a lot like being a chef. Both are creative forms that have structural limits and immense room for interpretation. Tastes are subjective, but a good chef can anticipate the audience and when he serves something he should have a rough sense of why the average patron might find it delicious.

Most writers write without a real sense of the audience. We’re writing to entertain, to deliver a satisfying emotional experience to the audience. If a writer isn’t writing with a sense of empathy for the audience, the end result is likely to be disappointing.

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

-Scripts about Hollywood power brokers written by people who haven’t met Hollywood power brokers.

-TV pilots that spend their entire length explaining how we got to the premise without every showing what’s fun or interesting about the premise (see #5). There won’t be a second episode. What are you saving it for?

-Comedies that aren’t funny. I recommend taking an improv class and reading the UCB Handbook.

7. What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

The word “rules” needs to die. It always starts a fight. People have an unending appettite for hearing that they can write, but any suggestion of how one might approach writing is generally taken as a suggestion of how one ought to write, and then an unproductive argument ensues. Here are three general principals:

-Entertain. You should know exactly what feeling you want to create in your audience.

-Use unity. Once you’ve set up your script, you want everything to feel connected, organic, and like a ramification of what’s come before. Bad scripts keep inventing random stuff throughout the second act, and it leads to a script that feels arbitrary.

-Be specific. A lot of writers will write in variables, keeping things loose (my character is either an architect or a deli owner… I haven’t decided which) because they think it will prevent them from getting lost or stuck in the later stages. This never works. Imagination thrives on immediacy and specifics. It’s better to commit to an idea and follow it to its conclusion. Even if you went in a wrong direction, the specifics you generate add value to your story. If you keep things vague, you’re building on sand and it’s hard to move the story forward when things exist in a vacuum.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

In 2003 I read a really funny script called Underdogs. I couldn’t stop reading it or quoting the dialogue. It ended up turning into DODGEBALL starring Vince Vaughan. The movie is really funny, the script is funnier.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

It depends on the contest. When I was at big companies, execs would usually read the top Nicholl scripts out of a morbid curiosity, but other big script contests (Scriptapalooza comes to mind) would try to get executives to read their top three, and the execs were lukewarm. For instance, a lot of people are selling off the Black List right now. It’s useful now, but might not be in three years.

10. How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

Matt passed away in July 2020, and his site thestorycoach.net has since been taken down.

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

Humble pie. If you’re serious about writing, you’ll be served it more times can be counted. Alternately, strawberry rhubarb. I’m from Vermont, and it reminds me of a childhood garden.

Ask an Ubiquitous* Script Consultant!

Danny Manus
*Seriously. The guy’s, like, everywhere. Podcasts, social media, online articles, you name it.

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on Danny Manus of No Bullscript Consulting.

Danny Manus is the former Director of Development for Sandstorm Films (The Covenant, 8MM2) and Clifford Werber Productions (Cinderella Story, Just Add Water), where he sold “To Oz” to United Artists. He’s the author of “No B.S. for Screenwriters: Advice from the Executive Perspective” and was ranked one of the Top 15 “Cream of the Crop” script consultants in CS Magazine. He was also named one of Screencraft’s “25 People Screenwriters Should Follow on Twitter.”

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

The best written things I’ve watched lately have been on TV. There are movies I’ve really enjoyed – Chef, Planet of the Apes, Guardians of the Galaxy, Fault in our Stars, Bad Words, etc. – but none this year yet that I thought were OMG fantastic writing. To be fair, I haven’t seen Boyhood yet. But for me, TV is where the best material is these days. My favorite new comedy is You’re the Worst on FXX. I also really enjoyed The Last Ship on TNT and Masters of Sex on Showtime this summer. I’m sure there are wonderfully written books out there, but I don’t get to read them.

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

My first start was as an intern about 13 years ago at Columbia Tri-Star in TV Development and 20TH Century Fox Feature Casting. I was charged with reading everything that came in and doing coverage on them. But I used to go through their archive library and just read as many as I could, especially at Tri-Star. My coverage was liked by the VPs I worked under so much that they loaned me out to the SVP (Sarah Timberman at the time, who would not remember me if you paid her) and then the President at the time. Those gigs gave me enough coverage samples to land my first assistant job after I graduated.

3. Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

Recognizing bad writing is something anyone can do. Recognizing great writing is something that can be taught and learned with time and experience. As a first year assistant and intern, I could tell you what was written poorly. But it took a few years of reading hundreds and hundreds of scripts to TRULY understand good writing. And many thousands of scripts later, I’m still learning.

You can’t read a book on screenwriting and think you’re suddenly able to be a professional consultant or reader or writer. There is no checklist given to new readers, it’s learned on the job – that’s why it’s SO important for writers to READ. Though I actually did develop a checklist I used to give to my interns. It was 110 items long. But if you’re a great reader, they are all just in your head and you notice them naturally.

4. What are the components of a good script?

There are basic elements everyone agrees on – a concept and hook that sparks a reaction and has potential to lead somewhere intriguing; compelling, three-dimensional characters who make you want to follow them; dialogue that feels sharp and precise yet natural and flows; enough growing conflict and high enough stakes to keep ones interest; and a plot that progresses throughout the script in interesting ways. Every script should have strong setups, executions and payoffs. But to make it go from good to great, it’s about the X-factor. Some of that is voice, but some of it is just the right writer writing the right story in the right way at the right time. That’s when true brilliance strikes. And it doesn’t happen often.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

I see them all. I mean, the biggest mistakes are that writers are writing stories that aren’t MOVIES. They’re just not strong enough ideas or hooks to be movies in the current studio or indie marketplace. Or that the writer doesn’t know the hook of their idea. Or that the writer uses too many COINCIDENCES or serendipitous moments to create plot.

Actually, you know what the #1 mistake I see is? The use of YOU’RE and YOUR! I mean, WTF people – it’s not that hard to know the difference. Thinking that typos and grammar and format don’t matter – they do!

The biggest non-craft mistakes writers make is not doing their research and not knowing ANYTHING about the actual business. And secondly, submitting projects LONG before they’re ready to be submitted. Querying and pitching on a first draft or before a script is even written, entering contests with a first draft, posting their second drafts on websites. The biggest mistake I see is desperation and impatience outweighing common sense and good judgment.

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

I could go the rest of my life without seeing another Geek to Chic Teen story. Or the Christmas tale of someone losing their Xmas spirit until X happens. Or the story of the struggling writer trying to break into Hollywood and X happens. The Screenwriter protagonist CAN work – but 98% of the time it doesn’t and I like to play the odds. In terms of character, if I never have to read about another female rape victim or domestic abuse victim, I’d be okay with that too. Those are so common in scripts it’s lost its meaning. But in the end, what I always say is – Don’t run from the cliché, just make it seem NOT cliché. That’s a writer’s job.

7. What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

-It’s not called the artist colony, it’s called the Film Business. So treat it like one. And if you want this to be a career, treat it like one.

-Writing is rewriting and if you can’t take notes and really truly rewrite, you’ll never have a lasting career.

-Your first draft and first script is SUPPOSED to suck. If you think your first script is going to sell and make you rich, you’re living in a dream world. Just. Keep. Writing.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

Absolutely. But most were already projects in development written by top notch writers. I have had a number of clients whose projects were Recommends – but none were like that on the first draft. I can’t really divulge the loglines though.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

There are about 15 contests out there that are completely worth it that I highly recommend, and about 250 contests out there that aren’t. If you win a major, prestigious contest it can definitely start your career and get you noticed. But if you’re continuously a quarterfinalist or not even making the quarters, then you’re not ready yet. Or your script isn’t. Contests are absolutely worthwhile IF your script and writing is at a level where you can be in the top 100 writers out of 8,000. If you can’t say that, then you’re probably wasting $40. Keep in mind – the Top 10 contests get about 45,000 submissions total. And they give out about 150 prizes to finalists and winners. So, those are your chances. Your script has to be REALLY fucking good. But as someone who has had multiple major contest winners and finalists as clients, that’s what I’m here for.

10. How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

You can always check out my website and services at www.nobullscript.net and follow me on Twitter @Dannymanus (I was named one of Screencraft’s 25 People Screenwriters Should Follow on Twitter).

And if interested, I’m running a 4-week online course “Creating More Compelling, Castable Characters” which starts Sept 26th and it’s going to be a great class. So, I encourage everyone to check out details at www.compellingcharacters.eventbrite.com

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

I’m an apple pie guy, though a good chocolate cream pie with the chocolate mousse and whipped cream…nom nom nom.

Just get it written first

Hmm. What rhymes with 'Nantucket'?
Hmm. If I could only think of something that rhymes with ‘Nantucket’…

Development of the outline for the low-budget comedy is progressing smoothly. Plot points are in place, so now it moves to the filling-in of the gaps between them.

Although I may jot down ideas for assorted scenes or sequences, I tend to work in a more linear fashion. Start at the beginning, figure out what happens next or how scene A leads to scene B, that sort of thing.

I have to keep reminding myself that especially in this early, early, stage, it’s more important to get the story right first, then worry about the jokes and little details. While developing all those setup scenes for the first ten pages, I still caught myself asking “Is that the funniest you can come up with?”

Trying to stop yourself from self-editing? Not easy.

Additionally, since the emphasis here is on the “low-budget” aspect, another self-imposed challenge is to keep things simple. No special effects, no elaborate sets or costumes, a (hopefully) minimal number of locations. Something that could definitely be made on the cheap.

Again, a lot of this could be handled or fixed in a later draft, but I figure why not at least start out with that in mind?

We’ll see how it goes.

And what are you working on this weekend?

Ask a Script Consultant who’s also a Working Writer!

mark sanderson

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape.

Mark Sanderson (aka @scriptcat) is a Los Angeles based screenwriter, script consultant, and sometimes actor blessed to be living his childhood dream of making movies with a spec sale and a dozen screenplay assignments that have produced seven films. Mark’s long association with award winning Hollywood filmmakers dates back to his first produced screenplay and has since worked with Academy Award® winning producers, veteran directors, and Academy Award®, Emmy®, and Golden Globe® acting nominees. He offers script consultation services on his website at www.fiveoclockblue.net and also offers advice on his screenwriting blog MY BLANK PAGE. Look for his upcoming book A Screenwriter’s Journey to Success coming out later this year on Amazon.

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

I don’t have much time to spend watching a lot of TV or movies, but the best writing these days is on television in my opinion. I manage to catch an episode here and there of shows, but don’t really spend a lot of time watching many series. When I watch movies, I tend to be really picky and very few films out there today don’t really draw me in—so I go for the classics. On television, I really thought the limited series Sherlock was excellent writing, Mr. Selfridge too, and I got hooked into the The Following for a while and that was good serialized writing. I’m just getting into the old pulpy Doc Savage novels from the 1930s and the writing is great and so visually ahead of its time. I read that Hollywood is planning on making a Doc Savage movie and if done right, could spawn a series of new films.

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

Well, I’ve had a professional screenwriting career for the past fifteen years and during the last few years I decided to open my consulting business on the side.  I’m always reading scripts even if I’m not consulting on them. I have a small group of writer friends and we trade our scripts back and forth for feedback.

3. Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

I believe it comes from years of learning and studying the craft of screenwriting. When writers build a strong foundation of experience reading scripts, studying structure, character, writing scripts, executing notes and mastering their craft—this is when they can finally give experienced and critical feedback if a script is good writing or not. It also is vital to know the language of cinema. I’m aware that some consulting sites farm out the reads to “readers” and one never knows who is actually reading the script or their experience level when giving notes.

4. What are the components of a good script?

It starts with a compelling story and something that you can clearly see grew from the writer’s passion for the material. Too many times I read scripts that are trying to chase after Hollywood’s big budget blockbusters and they fall short because the writing is boring, clichéd and trying to emulate something that has already been created. The scripts read like a rehash and not something original. A good script showcases the writer’s unique voice and the best of their talents. It has interesting characters that we care about and written in a fluid, efficient way that includes only what is necessary to keep the story moving forward. A good script also has a rock solid structure and a series of reveals, surprises, setups and pay offs that keep us captivated to read until the end or sit through the film until the lights come up in the theater.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

I’m shocked that many screenwriters still have no respect for the professional format of a screenplay. They believe the reader will look past the format and typos issues to see their genius idea and buy it for that alone. A script lives or dies by a thousand small details and considering the volume of scripts that bounce around Hollywood every year, the industry has no patience for unprofessionalism. Other common mistakes I see happen when screenwriters do not work from a solid outline or treatment before they jump into pages. Approximately three quarters of your work usually goes into the story even before you type FADE IN. Other mistakes come from overwriting and micromanaging the scenes. Aspirants need to learn what to put in a script—and equally as important what to leave out. I tell writers: “Stay the hell out of the way of the story.” Many are so eager to put their fingerprints all over the pages and that’s just ego. The best writing is when the screenwriter is almost is invisible on the page and the script reads as if you’re watching the film. I also find too many mistakes with structure and the story happening too late or not enough story to facilitate 100 pages. The set up in the first act many times is way too long. Hopefully these writers learn from their mistakes and focus on becoming better screenwriters by creating stories they are passionate about rather than chasing fame and fortune.

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

One big one that I can’t stand is the use of “Deus ex Machinaor using a contrived way at the end where a character or action saves the day. It shows lazy writing and ends the story on a weak beat leaving the reader unfulfilled. Another one is the “fall” or “twisted ankle” of a character escaping that is usually followed by the line, “Go on without me!” Another one I’m tired of seeing is the “I hate my job, my boss and do nothing but complain” routine.

7. What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

1. Disrespect the craft at your own peril. You will never be bigger than your craft because screenwriting is an ongoing learning experience.

2. You must become a collaborator and ultimate team player because if you grimace at their notes, they will brand you as “difficult” and not work with you again.

3. You may have to write five, six or seven specs over a period of years to even get one optioned or maybe sold if you’re lucky. But if you’re impatient and looking for fame and fortune, you’re in the wrong business.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

Well, I don’t give “recommends” because I’m not reading for a producer, but I do tell writers if they were successful in the execution of their idea. Screenwriting is all about the execution. Good ideas are a dime a dozen in Hollywood—they’re everywhere and it’s the execution of a script that’s vital to its final success. Yes, I did read a few scripts during the last year that were superb and written by experienced filmmakers—so that helped. I can’t give out the loglines as I have a non-disclose agreement with my clients, so I’m not allowed to discuss the elements of their projects with anyone.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

Yes, many of the top contests are worth entering as a chance to “make some noise” and get noticed. Back in the day, I entered a spec in the Nicholl Fellowship and it ended up in the top twenty scripts out of thousands worldwide. They picked the top eight that year for the fellowship, but since I had placed in the next dozen, agents and mangers were willing to give it a read. Eventually it found a producer who championed the script and it was produced, played in film festivals worldwide, premiered on TV and distributed globally. But, be careful and read the fine print of the contest you are entering as some stake claim to your script if you win. Do your homework on the various contests and make sure you are putting out your best material that will properly represent your talent and ability. If it’s not ready, go ahead and miss the deadline because there is always next year.

10. How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

Screenwriters can find more information about my consulting services on my website at: www.fiveoclockblue.net. I’m also on Twitter: @scriptcat

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

Oh that’s an easy one…definitely a tie between boysenberry and cherry. I could eat both with ice cream as a “last meal” and die a happy man. Apple pie comes in a close third, but all pie should be heated.

Here’s what you need to know

Not THAT kind of exposition
Not THAT kind of exposition

As the rewrite/polish of the mystery-comedy continues, it suddenly hit me that while I knew the backstory of what came before, somebody reading it for the first time would have no idea what was going on, or at least how we got here.

A little exposition was in order.

But among the many problems with writing exposition is when it’s out-and-out obvious.

“You mean your brother John, who went through a terrible divorce, ran off to join the circus and became a cross-dressing serial killer?”

Sometimes it’s done very effectively, but unfortunately, a lot of the time it isn’t, resulting in a blast of information crammed into one scene.

No thanks.

Rather than go down that road, I’m exploring the potential of doling out the details over several scenes. A sentence or two casually placed here and there so as to not draw attention to itself, all for the purpose of helping you learn where everything is coming from and how we got here.

It’s a work in progress, so we’ll see how it goes.