westerns

Three and a half scripts. No waiting.

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Keep your pants on. These things can't be rushed.
Everybody else, though, will have to wait. These things can’t be rushed.

Despite a few weeks to go, it’s safe to say that 2014 didn’t work out the way I’d hoped. I didn’t do that well on the contest front, and I no longer have a manager.

I’ve gotten over the thankfully-brief “woe is me” phase, and am now firmly planted in “How can I make this better?”

Like any smart and savvy writer, I’m thinking ahead and making plans.

-As much as I love my western, it still needs work. Beaucoup thanks to the legion of note-givers who offered up a lot of insight that really helped me out.

There’s a hill near where I went to elementary school. At the time, it felt like taking on Everest. Now, not so much. The idea of rewriting this script feels incredibly daunting right now, but as is usually the case, probably won’t be a problem.

A few ideas for changes have already popped up, with the hard part now to let go of what’s already in there, but that’s another blogpost.

-Another group of notegivers had some fantastic things to say about my mystery-comedy, and provided similarly helpful feedback. They liked the concept, pointed out what in the story needed work and had some great suggestions for potential fixes.

This one is going to be especially tricky (due to that whole mystery angle), but again, I’ll work my way through it.

Can’t explain why, but for some reason, listening to 50’s jazz and drinking a glass of quality red feel like they would be extremely conducive to working on the outline. I’ll let you know how that goes.

-As for the low-budget comedy, the story’s being kept under wraps until the first draft is finished. The big hurdle here is to just keep writing and not obsess over each joke. Darn my perfectionist nature.

-It’s been a while since it’s been mentioned, or even thought of, for that matter, but I don’t want to ignore my pulpy adventure. I managed to crank out a workable outline, but it definitely needs more fine-tuning. It’s more of a “whenever I get to it”, rather than a “I have to finish this!”.

So there you have it. My projects for the coming year. How many will actually be completed? Hard to say right now, but 3 seems like a reasonable number.

At this point, I’m not even entertaining the notion of contests. It’s really all about writing, editing, rewriting and polishing. Any money I would have spent on contest fees will go towards professional feedback.

I’ll admit I was hoping to have made some significant progress this year in terms of establishing a career, and in some ways I have, but you know what I mean.

If continuing to improve as a writer and honing my skills means a slight delay in getting representation, making a sale, and getting assignment work, then so be it.

I’m a patient guy.

Getting a feel for the tactile experience

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That's not ink. It's writer's blood (or at least it sure feels that way).
That’s not ink. It’s writer’s blood (or at least it sure feels that way).

The early drafts of my western spec all clocked in at 132 pages. “Way too long!” I was told.

Tips and suggestions on how to tighten things up were provided and implemented. 126 pages. “Still too long! Cut more!” they demanded.

Sleeves were rolled up. Knuckles were cracked. The pounding of computer keys continued. 122. “Keep going!” was the response.

I slaved, toiled and labored until I couldn’t take it any more. 117. “Almost there!”

Feeling rather drained, I took the most effective step of all: I printed out those 117 pages, armed myself with the almighty red pen and got to work.

For some inexplicable reason, when I edit a script on paper, it’s much more effective than working with a digital copy. Lines of text I’d always ignored would suddenly pop as something to cut, modify or move around.

I’ll scribble out an alternative line of dialogue. Try out an impromptu reorganizing of the scene. Cross something out, then change my mind and write ‘keep’ over it. Use my finger to literally block out a line to figure out if the scene still works without it.

Just the other day I cut out half the dialogue in a scene with no significant impact. Would I have been able to do that if I wasn’t working with actual pages? Hard to say, but I’m inclined to believe “probably not.”

As I worked my way through the script, I found more and more opportunities to cut or edit. Of these 117 pages, there’s at least one red mark on just about every page, which includes the plentiful use of red lines through words and/or sentences, and lots of circles and arrows (as in “move THIS to HERE”).

Exhausting as it was, the red pen portion of the process is now complete.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to digitally apply these edits for a couple of days. The US is currently in the middle of a big holiday weekend, which means extra work shifts for me. Love the holiday overtime, but it’s also less writing time.

I’m not concerned. It’ll happen soon, and I’m looking forward to seeing what the new page total will end up being, as well as the subsequent responses.

It goes without saying that “Yes!” would be ideal.

Finding the positive in a negative

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Converting something acidic to tasty and refreshing requires a little bit of knowing how
Converting potentially acidic to tastily refreshing requires a little bit of knowing how

Notes on both my western and mystery-comedy specs have been flowing in steadily from friends and trusted colleagues over the past couple of months, and the results have certainly been a mixed bag of opinions.

The general message is “Love the concept, solid structure, but ____, ____ and ____ needs work.” The individual comments, of course, are much more assorted. Happily, none are of the “This sucks! Do the world a favor and give up writing!” nature.

Show the same material to half a dozen people, and you’ll end up with half a dozen different reactions. And as you would expect, each one is helpful in its own way, especially if it includes something you may not necessarily agree with.

But here’s where it gets even better – take all of those notes and use the ones that you think make the most sense. Apply them to your script. Does it immediately read better?

Now let’s take it a step further, but this time with those comments you don’t agree with. What is about them that doesn’t work for you? Give ’em another look. Maybe there’s something in there worth using.

I got some great notes on the western, and one of the suggestions was cutting or at least shortening some sequences in Act Two. Of course, my initial reaction was “Not a chance!”

But this was defeating the whole purpose of getting notes – to make the script better. And me being so obstinate about it wasn’t helping.

So I read it again, this time with a more open mind. Would this work? Would it accomplish what I needed it to? The suggestion started to make sense. I’d already cut 12 pages out of this thing, so there was no reason I couldn’t trim a few scenes down. It wouldn’t hurt the story, and could actually improve it in terms of moving things along.

You get notes to help point out what’s wrong with your script, or at least what needs to be fixed. You can use them however you want, but to totally disregard them isn’t doing you any favors.

You’d be tired, too.

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Allowing myself the luxury of a 5-minute nap between projects
Allowing myself the luxury of a 5-minute nap between projects

What an exhausting week this has been.

-My “Ask a Script Reader/Consultant” series is going strong, with no signs of letting up. What I originally planned as a handful of interviews is now poised to run until at least the end of the year, possibly into January. There are a lot of quality readers and consultants to choose from out there, all of whom really know their stuff. If you think your script is good enough as it is right now, you should seriously consider getting some professional feedback from any of these folks to help make it even better.

-Had a great face-to-face meeting with another writer in which we talked shop, exchanged feedback on each other’s scripts and just had a nice time. It’s one thing to connect with somebody on social media or an online forum, but when you factor in the human element, it just makes it that much more a pleasurable experience.

-The feedback this writer gave me was about my western. He used to do coverage, so his notes were significantly better than mine. He had some very nice things to say about the script, and some great suggestions about how to improve it. Luckily for me, a lot of them were relatively easy fixes.

Working with these notes, I just completed a major edit, which resulted in shortening it by 4 pages to 122. That’s 4 pages less than the previous draft, and 10 pages less than the draft that went out to all those contests earlier this year. There will be at least 1-2 more edits, in which I’m hoping to cut even more.

-Because of all this other stuff, progress on the low-budget comedy has slowed a bit. The latest obstacle is the fleshing out of some of the subplots. While the main storyline is kinda/sorta solid, it’s those supporting ones that still need some work.

The next step may be focusing on developing each one subplot individually, then work out how it connects/relates to the others. This puzzle keeps getting more complicated all the time. I was hoping to have a first draft done by the end of the year, which is still possible, but it’s more important to me to have a nice, solid outline first.

-Got some great notes from a few people about the mystery-comedy. Still needs work, but just about everybody raved about its potential and how much they like the concept, which is always nice to hear.

-Looking for help with loglines? Check out this book from Doug King.

-A friend gave K some Meyer lemons, which naturally resulted in making a lemon meringue pie. I considered sharing some with my co-workers, but decided it was just too tasty to leave the house. When your child asks if the last piece can be saved so it can be part of her breakfast the next day, you must be doing something right.

-I haven’t been able to do any half-marathons since last year, but we got a dog a few months ago, so 2-3 times a week, I run the 3 miles to pick her up, then both of us do the run back. Doing these along with my occasional longer weekend runs has resulted in about 10 pounds dropped since Labor Day. Hoping to get back into doing some races next year, but the dog stays home.

-Oh, and there was this. 5 years in the making and no sign of letting up. Thanks for all the support, and I hope you’ve enjoyed the ride as much as I have.

If you’re new around here, welcome! Feel free to take a look around, ask questions, comment on something, what have you.

Can’t wait to see what happens next week.

Ask a PAGE-winning Script Consultant!

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Scott Parisien

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on Scott Parisien, a mentor, analyst and writer with Script Reader Pro. He wrote the feature FOXTER & MAX in 2019, and his script INCISION was a Bronze Prize Winner in the 2013 Page International Screenwriting Competition.

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

There have been many movies this year I felt were actually quite well written. Sadly, most fell outside of the studio system or did not come to the big screen, and if they did, it was barely a blip on the radar. Movies like The Way Way Back, The Spectacular Now, Out Of The Furnace… these really focused on the characters and their journeys, and were filled with touching moments and emotional beats I really identified with. They had characters that were rounded and dimensional and deeply layered. This is what we don’t really get in the studio system any more. But two films that really hit that nerve in the system were The Fault In Our Stars and If I Stay, which were both adaptations, which explains why the characters were more able to be identified with. For me, it’s all about connecting with the characters on a deeper field. As far as the blockbusters, the only one I felt was well written, due to the intelligence of the script and the overall theme of the story, was Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes. It had such heart, such an identifiable father/son struggle, and themes that worked on both the human and ape sides of the story. I found it quite powerful because of this, and the effects and action really did accent it rather than overwhelm it for me. I wish more blockbuster studio films managed to achieve the same.

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

Many years ago, I received a grade of Recommend on two scripts through what was then Script PIMP (now Script Pipeline). I began a great relationship with the guys who ran it and when they had a spot come open they gave me a chance to show what I could do, as I was working on my own consultant service on the side and had experience with this. I then went on to work quite successfully with them and was a senior story analyst, being there for over 5 years. I’ve been running my own service all along as well, and now work with ScriptReaderPro.

3. Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

I’m not sure it can be taught, or even learned. I believe certain people have an inert skill for identifying good stories and good writing, much like Simon Cowell has a knack for recognizing talent and potential in a singer’s voice. Certain people can see that special spark on the page, within that voice and writer. I don’t think just anybody can be a screenwriter. Not only does it have certain areas of craft that must be mastered and manipulated to a person’s style and form, but there’s also a very special art to it. Some people don’t believe there’s an art to screenwriting, that it’s just a blueprint for a movie, but the great writers truly do put together a masterful piece of art in their screenplays. Not everyone can do it, and that’s why 99% of screenwriters tend to fall short of becoming that professional writer we all strive to become.

4. What are the components of a good script?

This is tough because there are so many things that need to be in a script to make it really stand out and resonate above the piles of not so great stuff. Writers tend to focus so much on their “rules” like format and saving the cat: exact page beats and such. But the greats, they worry about layers and nuance and emotional connection. Things like character development, flaws, obstacles. For me, it’s all about the flow of the story, the pace at which it pulls me through the basic structure all screenplays have. That will really make me sit up and take notice. The best screenplays are the ones you never stop to see what page they’re on, or what act you may be in, because it has seamlessly pulled you deep into that world. And that happens very, very rarely.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

For me it’s not about spelling or grammar, or whether something should have been in CAPS or not. The biggest mistake I see is screenwriters not doing all they can to suck every last drop out of a scene. They are too soft, or too vague, or talking heads with no real substance. These screenwriters lay down the surface and don’t seem to take the time to really dig in and crack the surface to see what is really happening underneath.

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

I’m actually sick and tired of the main character’s motivation being a dead wife. So many scripts these days and pitches rely on the protagonist being driven toward his goal by the death of the woman he loved. Of course this creates a strong emotional connection as we’ve all lost a loved one in some way or another, but it’s now so cliché it just comes off flat and not interesting in any way.

7. What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

1) Take your time. If you’re writing a spec, you have all the time in the world, as well as only one chance to impress. Too many writers rush and don’t let a script really simmer and breathe before they stamp it complete.

2) Find your voice. Don’t write in every single genre because you have an idea you think is good. Choose your style and your voice. It’s hard to make your mark as a horror writer if you submit and they want more, and all you have is a children’s Christmas movie, a western and an emotional drama.

3) Choose your concepts and stories carefully. It’s hard to get read in this business as it is, but even harder if the idea you have isn’t something that will get people excited. The best way to think of it before you write your story is if you can see a movie poster. If the concept you can pitch will elicit a movie poster in our minds, we can see it as a movie. If it doesn’t, you may want to see what other ideas you plan to put 6-12 months into.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

I’ve only read one script I wish was my own. It was so good, so layered, so character-rich, and it was a heist movie as well about two bank robbers on their last run who steal a getaway car with a pregnant woman asleep in the back, so it had commercial appeal. But it had a deeper theme about human connection that ran through the entire story. The writer had a very special voice that was undeniable.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

It all depends on the contest. Everything is so subjective. I won a midlevel contest and didn’t get a single request. I was a winner in one of the top 3 and the requests flooded in. It all depends on how a writer capitalizes on those wins or placements. Using them to pump up your credibility in a query can help it get noticed.

10. How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

https://www.scriptreaderpro.com/our-script-coverage-services/

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

Saskatoon Berry Pie. These little dark blue berries, like a blueberry but totally different, grow in central Canada and into Montana and North Dakota. These are little gems if you can ever get your taste buds on them, in a crust with a gratuitous pile of whipped cream on top.