confidence

I’m here, but need to be up there

Maximum Z ambition, confidence, contests, craft, determination, development, discipline, feedback, goals, Nicholl Fellowship, notes, patience, perseverance, persistence, productivity, quality, query letter, rewrite, screenplay, screenwriting, script, self-confidence, strategy, writing , , , , , , ,
mountain climber
Onward and upward! (snappy hat optional)

I’ve been writing screenplays for quite a number of years, but only in the past, say five to six have I shown some significant improvement.

More than a few readers who’ve read my last three scripts have commented that each one displays a step up in quality a compared to its predecessor. Which is very nice to hear.

Feeling pretty confident in my skills and material, I submitted some of them to a few of the high-profile contests (or at least the ones that really matter). The results were less than encouraging. Don’t get me wrong. Top 15 percent in the Nicholl is nice, but it’s still falling short of expectations.

You can have the most incredible script you’ve ever written, enter it in a contest, and chances are it might still go nowhere. Contests are just one way in.

But I digress.

I figured there was nothing more that could be done with the scripts, so I might as well file them away and move on, using them for occasional query letters.

However.

While my scripts may not be similar to those that win contests (can you imagine me writing a coming-of-age story set in 70s Reno?), they’re still fun, entertaining reads, and my passion and enthusiasm for them continue to burn strong and bright.

Like with my writing skills, they’re good, but can still be better.

That’s why I’ve decided to do what I can to make that actually happen. I’ve already gotten several sets of notes on some of my scripts, and most mention the same issues, along with some potential fixes.

As always, I have the luxury of picking and choosing which suggestions to implement, and I sincerely hope the end result is a collection of scripts of decidedly higher quality.

It’s been quite an effort for me to get my writing to get to the level it is now, and spending a little more time on trying to make it better will be definitely worth the effort.

99 44/100%, or somewhere thereabouts

Maximum Z comedy, confidence, deadline, development, draft, editing, feedback, networking, notes, pulp fiction, rewrite, science fiction, screenplay, screenwriting, script, spec, story, strategy, writing , , , , , , , , , , , ,
838-02487048
Gotta be really careful when seeking the exact formula

It was quite an undertaking, involving lots of rewriting, editing and reorganizing, including plenty of self-imposed stress, but the latest draft of the pulp sci-fi is complete.

It could definitely benefit from a little more work – another draft or two would make it that much better, but it’s exactly the kind of fun thrill ride I set out to write, and I really like how it turned out. One of my guidelines has always been “Write something you would want to see.” Man oh man, would I want to see this. And based on some of the notes I received from my squadron of trusted colleagues, so would they. Such an encouraging thing to hear.

Quick side note – I absolutely could not have gotten this script to this point of development without those exceptionally helpful notes. Thanks, chums! Each and every one of you has once again proven yourselves invaluable!

Networking. Worth it like you wouldn’t believe.

So for now, I’ll be taking a little break to let that script simmer for a bit as my focus is redirected towards revamping the outline of the comedy spec. Thrilled to say that even that seems to be coming along nicely, including a most productive writing sprint that got me to the next plot point. Always a good thing.

As much as I hate setting up deadlines for myself, I’m really hoping to have a decent first draft done by the end of the year – at the very latest. If I can maintain a pace like I have over the past few days, no reason I wouldn’t be able to type FADE OUT by Thanksgiving.

Totally doable.

More than just a pencil?

Maximum Z confidence, contest, San Francisco, screenplay, screenwriting, script, self-confidence, writing , , , ,
giant pencil
It wasn’t THAT big

Now that we’re in the month of October, what happened to me this morning feels very apropos for the season, and definitely worth recounting.

But first, a little backstory…

The latest draft of the pulp sci-fi is just about wrapped up. I’ve received lots of great notes on it, and incorporated some very helpful suggestions. The contest I’d like to send it to has its final deadline next week, so the past few weeks have been all about getting it as ready as I can.

While I still plan on submitting this script, there’s still that part of me that isn’t sure if it’s good enough, and that maybe I should hold off on the contest because it just needs too much work, which of course makes me doubt my abilities as a writer.

“Am I good enough? Am I wasting my time?” You know. The usual.

Cut to this morning.

My workday starts at 5AM, which means I get up around 3:15. Part of my getting ready involves having to take the dog out.

Since we live near Golden Gate Park, there’s always a chance of running into raccoons or skunks, so I’ve started bringing a flashlight as part of the dog-walking.

This morning, we got to the bottom of our front steps, and right there just beyond the first step was a pencil. Just a plain ol’ regular pencil.

I thought that was kind of weird. How did a pencil get there? Maybe one of the neighbor kids dropped it yesterday as they passed by? But it wasn’t there last night when I took the dog out. I took the dog around the corner. She took care of business, and we returned home. The pencil was still there.

We got inside and I got ready to head out to work. For some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about the pencil. It being there seemed so random.

Maybe about seven, eight minutes pass between returning inside with the dog and going down to the garage to get my bike ready (helmet, lights, etc). I step outside. Just out of curiosity, I want to see that pencil again.

I maneuver my bike over to the steps and reposition the headlight down towards the sidewalk.

No pencil. Swear to God. It was gone.

Let’s consider the possibilities:

-it wasn’t there to begin with. Maybe, but I distinctly remember seeing it just a few minutes ago.

-it wasn’t a pencil. Highly doubtful. The unmistakble yellow, the green metal, a pink eraser. Definitely a pencil.

-somebody took it. possible, but highly unlikely. Not a lot of foot traffic in our neighborhood at 4AM. K later suggested it was the paper delivery guy, but his m.o. is to  toss the paper from inside the car. Plus, we don’t get the paper anyway, so there’d be no reason for him to stop in front of our place.

-a raccoon or skunk took it. Again, highly unlikely, but you never know. They continuously go after our composting bin on the other side of the house, so why not snatch up a pencil?

And what may be the most outlandish theory of all – it was some kind of message to me.

Think about it. A pencil. The most basic of writing implements. Maybe this was some kind of “sign from beyond” that despite all my doubts and occasional lapses of self-confidence, writing really is what I’m meant to do and that I should keep at it.

Then again, I might find the pencil upon returning home later today, rendering the whole thing moot. (In which case, I’d wonder “How could I not see it earlier?”)

But pencil or no pencil, the message, or at least how I interpreted it, remains the same. Even with all the frustration, I’m in this for the long haul. There’ll be good days and bad days, but I’m hanging in there, determined to keep going.

Thus the pushing forward continues…

Not exactly “Kryptonian under a yellow sun…”

Maximum Z Alex Ross, ambition, career, comedy, confidence, determination, manager, momentum, motivation, networking, screenplay, screenwriting, script, self-confidence, Superman, writing , , , , , , , ,
alex ross superman
…but yeah, kind of like that

As has been much documented ’round these parts, trying to make it as a screenwriter is a long, tedious slog. For anybody. And that includes me.

It is a slog into which I have voluntarily cast myself.

There has been, and probably will continue to be a lot of disappointment and frustration along the way.

It’s the nature of the beast. Nothing I can do about it.

Well, actually there is.

More on that in a minute. But first, an anecdote!

I was digging through my binder of notes and documents, some of which span back a few years.

Among them, the printout of an email from an “industry insider” totally trashing me and my idea after I’d revealed the idea for what would eventually become one of my low-budget comedy specs. There was not one encouraging sentence in this entire communique. “Give up.” “You’re wasting your time.” “You don’t have a chance.”

And that was some of the nicer stuff.

The person who sent it likes to talk the talk, but in my opinion, falls a bit short on walking the walk. I printed out the email as a reminder that if an asshole like this can establish a career (if you can call it that), then there’s no reason I can’t either.

Funny thing about me is that I’m quite the stubborn cuss. I may get annoyed, upset, distraught or even full-blown depressed about how lousy my situation may be at that particular moment, but sometimes you gotta hit bottom before you regroup, reorganize, and resume the climb, more determined than before to get a little higher.

Which sums me up right now.

I’m not there yet, but it feels imminent. While it would be great if something happened in the immediate future, I’ll remain realistic and at least work towards “something soon”.

I’d say I’m in a pretty interesting place right now. I’ve got some quality scripts to show, several in various stages of development (and much further along than expected), and a growing network of connections, many of whom are more than willing to do what they can. When more than one professional says to me “I can’t understand why you don’t have a manager/more interest in this script!”, then I guess I’m doing something right.

Even though there’s been a steady and gradual progress in “making things happen”, this is still all on me. This long, tedious slog will eventually come to a most satisfying conclusion – for the best possible reason.

So until that forthcoming day when fortune finally smiles down on me, I’ve no plans to give up and will continue to push forward. It’s getting close. Mighty close.

Up, up, and away, chums.

A little booster shot for you

Maximum Z ambition, blog, career, confidence, encouragement, perseverance, persistence, screenplay, screenwriting, script, self-confidence, success, writing , , , , ,
shot-in-the-arm
Don’t worry. This won’t hurt a bit.

Not a lot of writing done this week due to being slammed with a nasty cold. Hoping to get back on track next week.

In the meantime, waiting to hear about some potential leads. Exhilarating in that they exist in the first place, and frustrating in that things seem to advance as fast as molasses in January.

Each one part of the process we all put ourselves through in this crazy ongoing pursuit. It’s not easy. Far from it. But we knew that going in.

Some days it feels like success is a little closer within reach, and sometimes it feels like you’re caught in a fiery downward spiral of doom.

Given my druthers, I prefer the former.

In the meantime, here are two posts from last year that might help restore, or at least remind you of your confidence in yourself, why you’re doing this, and what you’re capable of.

In it for the long haul

Expiration date: NEVER!

Don’t lose hope, chums. Trust me, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too. We’re all in this together.