frustration

Muscle memory kicking in

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It’s been a while since I’ve worked on a new project, so there was the initial sensation of feeling overwhelmed and constant thoughts of “Is this going to work?”

I’d spent so much time rewriting and revising the previous script, so sitting down and having that blank page staring back brought back that all-too-familiar sensation. You know the one – you’re so used to working on a script that’s around 97 or 98 percent complete, and now you’re back to one that’s in single number territory, or at least low double digits.

Fortunately, I’ve been down this road before, and like with writing at any point in the process, the only way to get it done and move things forward is to put that ass in the chair and get to it.

Which is what I’ve been doing.

Plot points are in place – some a bit on the vague side or primarily functioning as a placeholder (“____ defeats _____”), so now it’s about filling in all those blanks that connect them.

Some have been created easily, others took multiple attempts, and some are still very vague. Notebook pages are filling up as I write down everything and anything that comes to mind, no matter how crazy or wild it might seem. Ideas and inspiration can come from anywhere, so why not hang on to all of it?

They don’t call it a work in progress for nothin’.

Very important – the first draft is going to be a big flaming mess, so don’t stress about it. Just get the damned thing written.

This has been the experience with previous scripts, so there’s no reason to have it happen again. It’s all about taking the time to figure things out. Also like usual, there’ll be a lot of stuff that will most likely end up not being used, but that’s how it goes.

It’s been a while since I last went through this part of the process. I’ve missed it, and am just as eager this time around to take it on.

Time unintentionally taken

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When I started working on the new spec a few months ago, I was hoping to have a solid outline done by the end of the year.

But the story is proving to be more complicated than I originally thought, and I’ve come up with some ideas that would help not only the story but to also showcase the “different” in the Familiar But Different aspect when it comes to the films that inspired it.

And on top of that, I’ve been busy with other stuff, so development on this project has really slowed down. I’m still working on it, but slightly annoyed that this is happening in the first place.

Part of it is my strong desire to get this thing written. I’m really psyched about it, but I also want to do as much outlining and figuring stuff out before moving onto pages.

There’s also the previously-alluded-to going for “familiar but different”. There are scenes and sequences in this story that require a strong sense of originality so as to avoid being interpreted as me being a lazy writer and just ripping off stuff from those other films. That is something I definitely want to avoid.

Thus, my continuing struggle to put this one together.

I initially felt embarrassed and a little ashamed about being so far behind schedule, but this is what putting this story together requires. When I expressed this to other writers, I was reminded that everybody makes progress at their own pace (“As a runner, you know how true that is.”), and it was also pointed out that several other writers in our community spend a lot of time writing and even more time rewriting their stuff.

I was told I shouldn’t feel bad about not being as productive or prolific. I’m doing the work at the pace that works best for me, and that’s the important part.

I also have to keep in mind that my animated script began several years ago as just jotting down ideas, and then gradually evolved into what it is today – including countless rewrites and polishes. Even today I’m still waiting on notes that will be applied to the next draft.

I know I’ll get this one done, and of course wish it wasn’t taking so long, but that’s just the way it is. I’m still enjoying putting it together, and confident I’ll be happy with the end result (and all the subsequent drafts that follow it).

The reins have been reclaimed

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The past few days have been the standard rollercoaster. Some good stuff, some not-so-good stuff, with a small percentage of the latter being very not-so-good.

But there were a few glimmers of hope within the darkness. More on those as/if they develop. Any positive vibes and crossed fingers are always appreciated.

During this time I was reminded of the phrase “Don’t worry about things over which you have no control.” I took that to heart, and it’s really helped.

There are SO MANY things about screenwriting that are out of our hands. Stressing out about them doesn’t do us any good, and I’d much rather work on the things over which I DO have control.

Things like figuring out the story of my new spec, coordinating with guests for my podcast, getting the crowdfunding ready for my short film, reading friends’ scripts and giving notes.

(Two little things that have really paid off – a few minutes here and there to interact with other writers on social media or email, and maintaining a “What needs to get done today” checklist.)

Taking care of any of these helps me feel productive and less stressed because I AM GETTING STUFF DONE. Some of it may take longer than hoped or expected, but each one constitutes a step in the right direction. Even just writing about it helps.

If you feel this way, just remember that you’re not alone and there are always things that you can do to help make your screenwriting journey a little easier.

Keep calm, stay focused, and maybe have some pie.

So many plates!

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The past few months have not been as productive as I’d hoped, writing-wise.

My initial intent for this year was to complete the rewrite of the sci-fi adventure. January started out strong, but more and more other projects needing attention kept shoving it to the side to the point where it’s practically invisible.

I’m hoping to get back to it soon.

In the meantime, there’s been an inordinate amount of other stuff going on. It’s getting to the point where I worry about burnout and spreading myself too thin, which could result in nothing getting done.

And that’s definitely the last thing I want to happen.

I’m trying to focus on one thing at a time, and also not stress about what I’m not focusing on. It can be challenging, but I’m working my way through it.

Another interesting aspect of this is seeing a lot of other writers touting their latest progress. Scripts completed, deals signed, etc. I’m happy for them, but can’t help but feel like I can’t get out of first gear.

I wouldn’t call it writer’s block; more like an inadvertent short attention span. I work on something, then remember I need to also work on this other thing, so I work on that, and so on and so on.

Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but doing what I can to keep things under control and manageable.

Granted, there are also times when things go smoothly and get completed. Those victories, no matter their size, are always savored, as well as act as a reminder that yes, I can do this.

I’m sure more pieces will begin to fall into place and that most of this will eventually get back on track.

Until then, one plate at a time.

As determined as ever

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This is the 1200th post of this blog, so a little reflection is in order.

I started this endeavor in 2009 with the intention of chronicling my journey towards becoming a professional screenwriter. As you can probably tell from the lack of industry announcements that include my name or a script of mine, it hasn’t happened.

Yet.

Has it been frustrating? Most definitely. I’ve come close a few times, including having two managers and some of my scripts being considered at a few production companies. Daydreams of signed contracts and checks clearing were inevitable, but as often the case, things fell apart along the way.

I allowed myself a moment or two of “woe is me”, then got back to working on my scripts.

Like I recently wrote about, they’re significantly better than my earlier ones, and I’ll do what I can to make the next ones even better.

But for as many negative things that have happened, there’ve also been a decent number of positive developments along the way.

-publishing three books collecting a lot of the interviews I did on this blog

-being a guest on a friend’s podcast about writing, which led to co-hosting the next iteration of said podcast, and now being the sole host

-being invited to be a panelist talking about screenwriting at the San Francisco Writers Conference, then a panel moderator, to coordinating the whole Writing For Hollywood track

-writing a short script with the intention of actually filming it, with the wheels now in motion to see that come to fruition. Watch this site for the forthcoming announcement of the crowdfunding campaign.

It really has been a rollercoaster ride navigating my way through trying to make things happen. There’s been a lot of disappointment and frustration along the way, but I’m fully committed to seeing this through. It might not happen as fast or as soon as I want, but I’ve no intention of giving up.

Support from the screenwriting community has made quite a difference in helping sustain that. From giving and receiving notes to words of support and encouragement, they’ve all played a role in helping keep me going.

And while I’ll admit to feeling those tinges of jealousy when somebody else publicizes their writing-related wins and successes, I’m also extremely happy for them because I know they’ve worked hard to get there, and hope they’ll do the same for me when it’s my turn.

And I do plan on my turn happening.

Someday. Hopefully soon.