storytelling

Am I wrong, or just stubborn?

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Sometimes you're the puller, and sometimes you're the pullee
Sometimes you’re the puller, and sometimes you’re the pullee

Ever since I started working on the western, a lot of comments have been made pertaining to the belief that certain aspects of it are just not believable (including the always-popular “It’s not historically accurate.”). Therefore, the story doesn’t work.

But I didn’t let that stop me from writing it. In fact, a majority of the notes on the previous draft were quite complimentary and enjoyed the originality and execution of how it all played out.

Jump to the present. I’ve recently become involved with an online writing group. Despite some negative experiences in the past, this one came recommended, so I’m just starting out with them.

Since I don’t have pages for the western rewrite yet, I sent in a revised version of the logline. In all honesty, I don’t really like it. It feels very lacking and incomplete, hence my need for help.

So far, only two people have commented on it, each saying they cannot get past the number of ways this idea can’t work.

Argh.

This kind of response has always bothered me. As writers, our imaginations are the biggest tools in our arsenal. The possibilities of what we can come up with are endless. Just because it’s not how you would do it means my way is wrong; we’re just taking different approaches.

I’ve never been one to use “because I say it does” as a counter-argument, and will never, ever say “you just don’t get it”. I prefer “I can make it work,” and will spend a lot of time and effort figuring out how.

Which pretty much sums up how I’ll deal with this for now.

Like I said to them, there’s a solid logline out there somewhere. It’s finding it that’s the hard part.

Beginning anew

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blackboard
The next necessary step to moving forward

 

Hi there. Nice to be back. And to all you new readers out there – welcome! Feel free to take a look around.

When last we spoke, I was about to embark on a major rewrite of two outlines.

One of them is just about finished, while the other is somewhere in the early parts of Act 2.

Neither has been easy.

The toughest obstacle to overcome has been hanging on so tightly to that which has come before. Significant changes have to be made, or there’s no point to the rewrite.

This isn’t to say I’m totally disregarding what I’ve already written. For example, in a previous draft, a character is killed in a certain way. In this new one, the same method of killing is used, but for a totally different character in a different scenario, and it now holds a lot more significance in terms of the overall story.

While you can’t force yourself to come up with new ideas, you can challenge your creativeness by simply asking “What’s already here is good, but what’s another way this could happen?” There are always options and choices. Don’t limit yourself. Have fun with it.

Another benefit to these rewrites is since I have a fairly strong grasp of how the stories are supposed to play out, I can now concentrate on building up character development (something pointed out and recommended by several note-givers), which also allows for some beneficial quiet and revealing moments between rousing action sequences.

As much as I enjoyed coming up with a lot of those sequences, several have been cut in order to focus more on the characters. I’ll miss them, but they had to go (and could be possibly be resurrected for future use, as mentioned above).

Results so far have been encouraging, but I won’t really know until actual pages get written.

Corny as it may sound, letting yourself develop new ideas and approaches really is quite liberating. And the more you do it, the easier it gets.

 

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Erik Bork

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on Erik Bork, who also runs the website Flying Wrestler.

Erik Bork is best known for his work as a writer-producer on the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers and From the Earth to the Moon – for which he won two Emmy and two Golden Globe Awards. He’s also worked on the writing staff of two primetime dramas, sold multiple original series pitches, and written pilots and features for such companies as Universal, Sony, NBC, Fox, Imagine, Original Film and The Playtone Company. He teaches screenwriting for UCLA Extension and National University’s MFA Program, and has been called one of the Top 10 Most Influential Screenwriting Bloggers.

His book The Idea: The Seven Elements of a Viable Story for Screen, Stage or Fiction is now available.

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

I’m continually impressed with how DOWNTON ABBEY tells interesting, emotional, heartfelt stories that are grounded in the realities of its setting, for the various kinds of people who populate it. I’ve been re-watching the first three seasons lately – and think it’s great model for what makes characters and stories compelling, and easy to invest in.

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

I’d been a professional screenwriter for about a decade and was being asked to speak to writers groups, teach classes, and give feedback on scripts.

3. Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

Absolutely!

4. What are the components of a good script?

An intriguing and original concept about a compelling and high stakes problem for a character most people can relate to (either the character, and/or the problem) – which focuses on that character as they actively try to solve it, which is complicated and difficult for them, and entertaining for us to watch. I think working with the ten genres in the SAVE THE CAT books are a great tool for working on achieving this.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

Writers jump to script too quickly, without really developing a concept that has the ingredients necessary to have a chance at success. Stories often don’t have a main character that readers understand and have reason to care enough about, and sometimes it’s not told subjectively through that one person’s point-of-view. The main story problem is often not high stakes enough to the main character’s external life situation (as opposed to their internal life of thoughts, emotions and attitudes). It might not be an active enough challenge where they are pushing the story forward, or a problem that is big enough and hard enough, with enough twists and turns to it. Ultimately, it comes down to achieving the audience’s strong caring, and holding onto that – which is not easy to do.

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

I get tired of violent adventure stories with life-and-death stakes and a simplistic good vs. evil approach. It’s easiest to grab an audience with that, but it tends to leave me cold – especially when it’s just about visual spectacle, as opposed to realistic characters going through something relatable.

7. What are the three most important rules every writer should know?

-Basic story concept is the most important thing, and hardest to get right.

-The audience must emotionally become one with your main character, which isn’t easy to achieve.

-It’s hard and rare to write something that REALLY works, even for professionals – so stay open to feedback, lots of rewriting, and a long-term process that requires a lot of persistence and ongoing belief.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

I don’t really provide coverage-style “recommend”/”consider”/”pass” ratings, and don’t exactly think in those terms. I’m more about helping the writer better their craft and project(s), and never look for or expect a script that comes to me to be something they could instantly do something with in the marketplace.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

They’re in no way a panacea or golden ticket, and most of them probably won’t do much to advance one’s career – unless you finish really highly in one of the top contests. But it can be a good way to see how you’re doing, and get quality feedback, if you find the price reasonable.

10. How can people can get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

You’ll find my script consulting page on my “Flying Wrestler” blog. You can also e-mail me directly at erik@flyingwrestler.com.

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

Cherry, hands down.

Scriptshadow Success Stories – part 2

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image courtesy of Springfield Punx
image via Springfield Punx (http://springfieldpunx.blogspot.com)
As one of the multitude of screenwriters working on establishing a career doing exactly that, I’m always exploring different potential avenues to get that first break.

In recent years, the website Scriptshadow (and its moderator Carson Reeves) has offered writers the chance to submit their script for review and feedback. While most are sent back to their keyboards with suggestions of potential fixes for the next draft, once in a while a script garners approval, hopefully leading to continuing success for the writer.

Today’s spotlight is an interview with two of four writers who fall into the latter category: Matthew Ballen, whose script placed in the site’s recent Top 10 Amateur Scripts EVER, and Louise Ransil, whose script was a semifinalist in the 2013 Tracking Board Launchpad competition and was recently profiled in the LA Times (see below).

1. What’s the title and logline of your script?

Matthew Ballen (MB): FATTIES – When a lonely masochistic chubby chaser is abducted by two fat lesbian serial killers, it’s the best thing that ever happened to him.

Louise Ransil (LR): MARLOWE – Based on a True Story:  African American P.I. Sam Marlowe shows novice writer Raymond Chandler the realities of detective work, juggling gangsters, corrupt politicians and movie star Jean Harlow to find out who’s burning farms along the Arroyo Seco Canyon.

2. What did Carson think of it?

MB: Carson said he couldn’t put FATTIES down and that it was really memorable. I made a lot of unusual choices, and I think this clicked with Carson because he sees a lot of scripts that in his opinion play it too safe.

LR: Carson’s reaction was mixed. He was completely honest, saying the noir genre wasn’t in his wheelhouse. He seemed to enjoy the dialogue and elements of style, but was put off by the dense and complicated plotting. He suggested I streamline the plot.

3. Did you find any of the reader comments useful?

MB: Carson thinks FATTIES may be one of the most polarizing projects he’s had on the site. My favorite reader was probably the guy who said “It’s stuff like this that makes me question the fate of Western Civilization.” I found that strangely flattering. Fortunately, a lot of readers liked it though.

LR: Reader reaction was fairly positive. Carson has a very knowledgeable reader base.  Some commented on how the script’s style and structure fit classic noir. There was discussion on whether the genre was relevant to current audiences. I found the comments useful, and overall reactions reflected those I’ve gotten elsewhere.

4. What’s happened with the script since it appeared on Scriptshadow?

MB: The review couldn’t have come at a better time. I was up for my first major re-writing assignment, and the producer and director who hired me each saw the SS review on their own. I should clarify that I already had a relationship with these people, but I didn’t have any produced credits and they were taking a big chance on me. My Scriptshadow attention made everything feel a little safer for them.

I’ve since done a deep polish on FATTIES, and it’s attracted some nice attention from a couple of producers, but nothing concrete yet. I’ll probably wind up directing it myself when my writing gigs slow down, but I’m still interested in finding a home for it if something cool comes up.

LR: Since my script appeared in Scriptshadow, it was featured in a Front Page L.A. Times article. This created some buzz for it, so I’m now shopping it around.

5. What’s going on with your writing career now?

MB: I’m currently writing a screenplay adaptation for veteran Academy Award-winning producer Arthur Cohn. The project’s a complex period drama, almost the polar opposite of FATTIES, though I think unexpected humor and a certain humanity to the characters might be the bridge between them.

LR: I’m working on other scripts now.

6. How can somebody get in touch with you to inquire about this or other scripts of yours?

MB: If anyone wants to reach me about my projects, rewriting, script doctoring, or watching their pets when they’re away, I can be reached at ballen.matthew@gmail.com.

LR: *editor’s note – Louise has opted to not include her contact information.

7. Is submitting a script to Scriptshadow something you would recommend?

MB: Absolutely! I think Amateur Friday is one of the best ways to get attention and feedback on an amateur script.

LR: I definitely recommend Scriptshadow. It’s good exposure and a balanced critique.

8. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

MB: Fresh strawberry pie from a farmer’s market in June. Oh, and every other kind of pie.

LR: Pecan.

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Derek Ladd

The latest in a series of interviews with script readers and consultants who would be worth your while to work with if you want to get your script in shape. Today’s spotlight is on consultant Derek Ladd. His script Nina NANO was a Silver Prize Winner in the 2013 Page International Screenwriting Competition.

Award-winning screenwriter Derek Ladd started telling stories as a kid and never stopped. He lives in Portland, Oregon where he spends as much time writing as he does shaking off the rain (which is pretty much all the time).

1. What’s the last thing you read/watched that you thought was incredibly well-written?

The last exceptional script I read belongs to Matt Tolbert, a client of mine. I can’t go into specifics but it’s an historical screenplay about the Nordic Vikings. It’s refreshing to work on a script that pulls me in on page one and doesn’t let go. All of the elements (pacing, plot, characters) came together to create an immersive reading experience. As for movies, the last one I saw that featured great writing was DALLAS BUYER’S CLUB. This is a movie that nails the writing on all levels: the visuals, the dialogue, the subtext, all of it. Another surprisingly good movie I loved is an indie foreign film (horror comedy genre) set in Ireland called GRABBERS.

2. How’d you get your start reading scripts?

When I started my script consulting service, one of my early clients wanted to produce a movie. I’d written a couple dozen short stories and a few novels by this time and this client had read some of my work. And since a screenplay is the first element one needs to make a movie, she recruited me to write one. The only obstacle was that I had no idea how to write a script. So I bought two books on the subject and they didn’t help: each book contradicted the other. Then I bought one of those fancy bound scripts at Barnes & Noble – ADAPTATION (Charlie Kaufman, based on Susan Orlean’s book). Of course, it was more of a transcript so it didn’t help much either. I finally gave in to the fact that I would need to attend a class, and in Portland, Oregon the master of screenwriting was Cynthia Whitcomb. I took both of her classes, read her books and picked it up pretty quickly. My first script was an adaptation of my novel WITHOUT WINGS. From there I started reading scripts written by my classmates so I could give them feedback. The writers I worked with were so pleased I started doing it professionally. To date, over a dozen of my clients have won or placed in a variety of screenwriting contests.

3. Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?

I would say ‘Yes’ to both questions simply because one has to know how to recognize good writing in order write good material. While writing novels I found inspiration in everyone from Heinrich Boll, Truman Capote, Norman Mailer, Kurt Vonnegut and David Sedaris to William F. Nolan, Anne Rice and Stephen King. If an aspiring screenwriter thinks GIGLI or SHOWGIRLS is a great screenplay, trying to write a great script will be damn near impossible. If, however, the same screenwriter dives into work by Michael Mann, the Coen brothers, Joss Whedon, or Luc Besson (to name a few), or any brilliantly written script (JAWS, FARGO, THE MATRIX, HAROLD AND MAUDE, SERENITY, THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS), that writer will strive to achieve the same level of success in their own work. Excellent writing that makes you laugh and cry and get goosebumps has more power to teach aspiring writers than any classroom instruction ever could.

4. What are the components of a good script?

The Seduction Element: I watched a good DVD lecture featuring Michael Hauge a while back called ‘Grabbing The Reader In The First 10 Pages’. Mr. Hauge opened the lecture by explaining that part of the title is a misnomer: he said that ‘grabbing’ is too forceful a word and that what a writer should aim to do is seduce the reader. That’s at the top of my list. Seduce me with your words. Make it impossible for me to put it down: make me laugh, make me anxious and/or make me curious in the first five to ten pages. If you can evoke a strong emotion in the reader as soon as possible and keep it flowing that reader will be yours to the end. A famous writer (don’t ask me who) once said, “The first sentence should make you want to read the second. The second sentence should make you want to read the third…”

Strong characterization: A fleshed-out, intriguing character has the power to lead the reader anywhere. If a script starts out with three pages that describe the inside of a barn or a ton of details to set up what’s to come, I’ll put it down, or throw it at you if you’re close enough. The writer may have created the most awesome outpost on an alien planet anyone has ever dreamed up, or constructed the greatest plot ever conceived in the history of the written word, but without a solid character to invest in it won’t matter. For me, strong characterization is the whole shebang: a memorable introduction, sharp, believable dialogue, behavior that’s consistent with how the character would act in a given situation, etc. If the character has an arc (not required in some genres, but strongly recommended) it should be begin and end at the proper times – no rushing and no shuffling. Steady as she goes…

Originality: Is this a script I’ve read a hundred times before, or will it surprise me? I’m not saying it has to be about a group of purple, basketball-shaped alien opera singers from the planet Snergle. When I say ‘original,’ I’m referring to the unique spin a writer puts on the material. As an example, a good detective story populated with adults is okay, while a detective story populated with high school kids (like the film BRICK) is original and stands out. No need to reinvent the wheel; popular genres are popular for a reason. Just find a way to spin them and surprise the reader.

5. What are some of the most common mistakes you see?

Everyone’s guilty of typos and grammatical errors (myself included), so it’s a given that any editor/consultant will find them. Aside from that, one common technical mistake I see involves scenes that spill over into other locations without new scene headings. Drives me crazy. I also see a lot of scene headings written improperly, missing words, character name inconsistencies and factual errors (names of objects, cities, states, countries or famous people misspelled). To a lesser degree, I see action lines that are jumbled: a character enters, pulls a gun, fires. Then it’s noted that the light is flickering overhead. Oh, and the guy in plain sight by the pool table (who was never mentioned before) fires back. It’s like when someone tells a joke and stops in the middle to say, “I forgot to mention, the guy riding the donkey is a priest.” It’s distracting. Unless you’re writing a narrow-to-wide shot, set the scene: describe who’s there and what they’re doing then describe the action. Otherwise it feels clunky and awkward.

6. What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?

The expression “I get it” is everywhere now. I don’t know where it came from. Maybe it’s like the cicadas that surface every 17 years or whatever and it’ll disappear soon. Here’s an example: “Hey, getting hit in the crotch with an umbrella ticked you off. I get it.” The biggest users of “I get it” are the writers for SUPERNATURAL, CRIMINAL MINDS, and SONS OF ANARCHY, all great shows that would be even greater if they’d stop using “I get it” six times per episode. It’s superfluous. Think about it: if one character describes what another is feeling, is it necessary to cap it off with “I get it.”? No. It isn’t. So please stop it. A visual trope, as it were, is the weird technique where the action goes into slow motion then speeds up again. I think the movie 300 started that whole thing. Hopefully a better movie will come along to put an end to it soon.

7. What are the 3 most important rules every writer should know?

The following answers are based on the assumption that the writer has developed a unique concept and story that he/she is passionate about. My answers further assume that the fundamentals of story, characterization, plot, dialogue, writer’s voice, pacing, style and overall balance (60% action, 40% dialogue) have been carefully considered throughout the writing process.

-The first 5-10 pages are life and death for a writer. As an editor/consultant, I get paid to analyze a writer’s work. Studio script readers, on the other hand, get paid to say ‘No’ to conserve a producer’s valuable time and an investor’s money. So unless you give the reader a solid reason to say ‘Yes’, your script is headed for the recycling bin. Set the hook as soon as possible and set it deep. Make that studio reader take your script into the bathroom (to read).

-Unless you’ve written a character-based indie script, structure is critical. Do your own structure analysis to see where you land: inciting incident by around page 12, plot point one by the 1/4 mark, strong midpoint by the 1/2 mark, plot point two by the 3/4 mark and the climax in the last 10-15 pages. You’re allowed a brief end-cap/denouement of 1-3 pages and then FADE OUT.

-Formatting DOES matter, especially for a spec script. Know the average length for comedies, thrillers, horrors, dramas, etc. Turning in anything under 90 pages or anything over 120 is a longshot. Know that formatting varies between different genres and how to use these varied techniques to your advantage. Barb Doyon’s book Extreme Screenwriting has an excellent chapter on formatting and how to use it to enhance a spec script.

8. Have you ever read a script that was an absolute, without-a-doubt “recommend”? If so, could you give the logline?

I’ve read a few scripts over the years I would strongly recommend, which is probably right in line with the industry percentage of one half of one percent. I don’t have loglines to share, but the clients whose scripts I would recommend include Chanrithy Him (WHEN BROKEN GLASS FLOATS), Santa Sierra (spec episode of THE GOOD WIFE), Bill Johnston (REQUITED), Erin McNamara (BORU), Mike McGeever (SMILERS) and Dorothy St. Louis (EL CUBANO). Others can be found at ProofEdge.com on the Testimonials page.

9. How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?

It really depends on the contest. My advice is to do some research, comb the web and read message boards. Moviebytes has a lot of info on contests and how contestants rate them. Find a contest that’s a good fit for your work. Some contests aren’t as open to traditional Hollywood blockbuster-type scripts (Zoetrope), while others offer a range of categories to accommodate all writers (PAGE Awards). If it’s a sizeable, reputable contest (PAGE Awards, StoryPros, Nicholl, among many others) I strongly recommend using it as a measuring stick to see where you stand as a writer. A writer shouldn’t get too bummed if his/her script doesn’t make it past the first round – a script can do poorly in one contest and win another, it happens all the time. Many contests offer notes for an additional fee, which can be quite helpful if done by a professional. Keep in mind that, while winning is the goal, simply making the Finals can attract studio attention, and doing so looks good on a resume when querying agents and producers. Winning or even placing in a contest can make the difference between an exceptional, unknown writer and an exceptional, discovered writer.

10. How can people get in touch with you to find out more about the services you provide?

Check out my website www.deladd.com, or email me at derek@deladd.com.

11. Readers of this blog are more than familiar with my love/appreciation of pie. What’s your favorite kind?

Apple, hands down. My mom always made the best apple pie when I was growing up. The way she makes it, the apples aren’t too sweet and they’re not overcooked and mushy. A couple of years ago I made a butter crust from a simple recipe I acquired as a sous chef. The combination of her perfect filling and my crust (which melts in your mouth) is pretty spectacular.