More like chiseled in frosting

Didn't work out right the first time? Go back and do it again.
Sometimes you just have to go back and do it again

Y’know one of the best things about putting together a story?

If something doesn’t work, you can change it (and most of the time, the change is for the better).

Most of the details in my western outline seemed pretty solid, and they were transferring nicely to the steady output of pages.

Then I got to the culmination of a big sequence – it involved a shootout. Something seemed out of place. I read the thumbnail sketch of the scene in the outline again.

Wait a minute.  Where did the one character get a gun?

A quick check of some previous scenes. There was no opportunity for that happen.

So now I’ve got a choice to make: keep it as written in the outline, or try something different.  Keeping it would mean going back and changing several scenes, which could also potentially slow the pace of the story. I opted for something different.

The end result was a shortened scene that retained crucial story and plot points, which gave them more of an impact. I also went with ending the scene ‘bigger’, keeping with the overall tone of the story.

There’s a good chance this will also result in having to rework parts of the big finale, but for now I like the way it plays out.  Besides, there’s another chance for a rewrite for the better.

So even though you think your story’s ready to go, chances are more than likely you’re going to reach a point where something has to be changed, fixed, altered or just plain rewritten.  Don’t see this as a negative – welcome the opportunity with open arms.

You want each scene to advance the story in the most effective way possible, and now you’ve given yourself the chance to do that.

Ask yourself if this is the best way a scene can be done. If not, what can be changed so it not only does what it’s supposed to, but does it better than your original version?

Then do the same for the next one, then the one after that, until you reach the end.

Simple, no?

Going for that streamlined look

No, no. The car.
No, no. The car. Aw, never mind.

With most of the querying out of the way, I’m now focusing on two things: getting the podcast up and running, and fine-tuning the western outline.

There’s not much to say about the podcast, except it just hasn’t been a priority. I could have spent more time on it, but opted to get the queries out, which was very time-consuming. It’s looking more likely now to be a February launch.  Stay tuned for more details.

Regarding the outline rewrite, although I had a pretty solid outline already done, it still needs a lot of work.  Up first: tightening things up.  There are just too many scenes.

Using the existing outline, I’m now figuring out ways to move story details and plot points around so everything moves along faster.

For example: the earlier draft didn’t really introduce the villain until around page 17 (he’d been lurking around in the shadows up until then). I’ve since moved things around and now he shows up around page 4, which also includes a follow-up scene to show just what kind of a bad guy he is.

There was also the decision whether or not two scenes could be combined into one. I’ve gone back and forth on this. Scene 1 advances the story/continues to set things in motion, while Scene 2 provides some backstory about the connection between the hero and the villain. Although each has merit on their own, I’ll probably remain undecided up until the end.

Happy to say I’m still enjoying the whole thing.

-Movie of the Moment Two-fer!: THE OTHER GUYS (2010)   I don’t really care for a lot of Will Ferrell’s films, but this caught me totally off-guard. It was actually funny and had a good story. Surprisingly entertaining.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS (2011) Another clever film from Woody Allen. Probably doesn’t hurt that I love Paris too. Kind of wish he’d write characters other than those from the upper classes.

But I look so good in jodhpurs

And a beret, too
And a beret, too

I’ve been poring over the notes I’ve received, and included within were a few suggestions for improvements, including cutting back on the use of CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis.  In fact, it was recommended I cut them out altogether.

I always thought doing that really got the point across, especially for really active verbs. Add that to the list of things to consider/investigate.

It was also mentioned that I could cut about 4-5 pages if I eliminated my ‘directing the action’ in so many scenes.

Directing? Me?

I looked over some of the pages in question, and wouldn’t you know it? They were right.

This isn’t about camera angles or more technical aspects.  I put in too much detailed description of the action between lines of dialogue, or give too much of a suggestion how a line should be delivered.

Apparently I do it a lot, not even realizing I was doing it.

I’ve always made an effort to avoid an excessive use of adverbs and parentheticals, but this really is something new.  While it’s something I’ll definitely need to work on in the future, making the appropriate fixes this time around doesn’t seem to be too challenging.

At least for now.

Teaching myself to not do this seems a little daunting at first, but the person who pointed this out to me added that he’s been a working screenwriter for 30 years and is still learning.

So there may be hope for me yet.

Just wondering – has there ever been something about your writing that was pointed out to you that completely caught you by surprise?

-This post was written during a very quiet Christmas morning shift at work. Hope you made watching a movie part of your day. Happy holidays!  One of my gifts was the COMEDY FILM NERDS GUIDE TO MOVIES, which comes from the always-entertaining and incredibly hilarious podcast of the same name. Definitely worth subscribing to. Please note the very apt ‘explicit’ tag on iTunes.

My jets can cool no longer

Oh, how I love visual jokes
Oh how I love sight gags

I had it all planned out. The rewrite’s done, but I won’t be able to send it out for professional notes until after January 1st, so until then, I’d have plenty of time to research the best places to query and work on my western outline.

It was nice to think that.

But as is usually the case, things have changed a bit.

A trusted colleague sent some extremely helpful notes, and more are due from another.

*side note – I connected with both through social media and networking. Proof it has benefits!

It would seem a short rewrite session is in my immediate future.

I welcome these latest developments.  They contribute to making the script as strong as it can be, and that’s what counts the most.

Added bonus: a lot of this first set of notes deals more with format, rather than story, so fixing them won’t be too difficult.

Even better added bonus: the notes ended with the words every writer lives to hear: “I wish I wrote this.”

If that ain’t a confidence-building good omen, I don’t know what is.

-Winter break begins this weekend at our house. Hoping to take V to see THE HOBBIT and LES MISERABLES during that time. Anything a parent should be concerned about with either? (She hasn’t seen LOTR, but seems eager to catch HOBBIT)

Three to get ready…

Yeah, it kind of feels like that…

It took a while, but the initial editing phase is complete.  There aren’t a lot of significant changes to be made, but almost every page has something that requires some kind of fix. Fortunately, most of them are very minor, like changing a verb or rearranging the way a scene is described.

There are at least 3, maybe 4 scenes where something needs a little more attention, so I circle it and write my standard “Work on this”.

So all that’s left is one or two thorough typing sessions, one more read-through, a little feedback (professional and trusted colleague), and then diving headfirst into the fray and getting the script out there. (which reminds me I really need to get on the ball and get back to the research phase)

And honestly? I’m getting a little nervous.  But in a good way.

This is what I’ve been working towards, and now it feels like it’s just about here.

Is it wrong for me to think there could possibly be a good chance of something happening?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not expecting a million-dollar sale.  Although selling a script would be fantastic, I’d much rather get representation and take some meetings that result in steady projects.  That would be phenomenal.

For some reason, I’m flashing back to a meeting I had about 11 years ago with a professional writer. I’d written 2 scripts and he read both of them purely as a favor.  When we met, the first thing he said was that I was a good writer. I had the talent, but really needed to keep writing in order to get better.

Which is exactly what I’ve been trying to do ever since.

Keep in mind that like everybody else, my first efforts were incredibly lousy (at least compared to my current stuff), so either he was being kind or he actually meant what he said. I really hope it was the latter.

For now, this remains an ongoing process. I’ve said many times it’s all been an absolute blast, and that still holds true.

And something deep inside tells me there’s bigger and better things ahead.