It was suggested that I come up with a pitch deck for my animated fantasy-comedy, or at least some character designs and concept art – and maybe a title page.
I’ve never been big on pitch decks. I figure if somebody’s interested enough in the script AND willing to shell out the moolah for it, then it’s out of my hands and they can come up with whatever looks they want. It’s not like they’re going to care about what I envisioned.
But dealing with a story that’s meant to be animated is something entirely different. You want to present at least a general idea of what the characters look like. If you’re trying to skew younger, they’d probably look more cartoon-y or Pixar-ish. If you’re going for a wider audience, they have to look like you weren’t seeing this as primarily a way to sell toys and Happy Meals.
I can honestly say these are things I hadn’t thought about while I was writing it. But since marketing is one of those screenwriting topics that doesn’t get mentioned as often as it should, it’s something requiring my attention.
Especially now.
As for the contents of the pitch deck, that was also me starting with a blank slate. What to include? And not include? How much of the story do I describe? How many pages should it be?
Fortunately, several trusted colleagues offered to send me their pitch decks as points of reference – an offer I eagerly accepted. A majority were for television pilots, which is very different from one for a feature. Some were for animation, so it was at least a start.
Like I mentioned before, my pitch deck would need to include character designs. My drawing skills are lousy, so doing it myself was not an option from the get-go. I need an artist. Thus I made my way to Fiverr and deviantart.com to check out artists whose styles match the vibe I’m going for. Several have been found, so initial contacts are underway.
Unlike some folks in the entertainment industry, I’m a firm believer in paying a creator what they deserve to be paid, but I also need to keep a close eye on how much I have available. No idea what the end cost will be, but hoping it’s not too pricey.
Like with a lot of projects in the early, early development stage, it’s all a lot of info to process, so there’s a general feeling of being overwhelmed. But also like those projects, it just requires dealing with it all a little at a time. It might not get done quickly, but this isn’t something to rush through. It’ll take as long as it takes to get it to be as effective as I can make it.
The past few weeks, part of my writing schedule has involved revising the outline of my animated fantasy-comedy spec. It’s been fun to develop – having a previous draft to work with really helps. The action sequences, the story, the jokes and sight gags haven’t been too difficult, but I’ve been making more of an effort to build up the emotional aspect.
This isn’t to say I’ve never included that. It just hasn’t been as prevalent in the early stages of planning and plotting process.
It’s not enough to just show the stuff that’s happening, you need to show how it’s relevant to the characters. While the plot is about the external goal (what do they want?), there’s also the importance of establishing their internal goal (what do they need?).
Sometimes the internal and external goals work together, and sometimes a character will achieve one and not the other. There’s also the tried and true “they got what they wanted, but it wasn’t what they needed” (and vice versa). It all depends on how the writer wants to the story to go.
To help myself get a better grasp of this, I’ve been reading the scripts for and watching other animated films to see how they approach it. There has also been the occasional “read a few pages of the script, then watch how it plays out onscreen”.
*helpful tip – for prime examples of incorporating emotion into story, you can’t go wrong with well-made animated films. They do a fantastic job of setting everything up as fast and efficiently as possible. Sometimes singing is involved. And as it should be with live-action, each scene manages to include advancing the characters’ emotional arc as well as the story arc.
As more than a few readers have said to me, sometimes my writing is more about what we see onscreen and not as much about what’s happening to the characters on the inside. Hopefully that won’t be the case this time around. Since I’m still outlining the story, I try to include what the emotional impact is in each scene. Does the point of the scene affect the character(s) the way it’s supposed to?
At first, this was pretty challenging, but watching how other films accomplished it, it wasn’t as daunting as I initially thought, plus the more I think about it and plan for it, it’s not as bad as I thought. It’s helping with the overall development because I’m taking that sort of detail into consideration as part of the initial planning stages, as opposed to trying to work it in later, along with avoiding a few unnecessary rewrites.
Since this is a slightly different approach for me, I’m sure it’ll be chock-full of trial and error along the way, but am fairly confident it’ll yield the results I’m hoping for.
David Schwartz is a freelance screenwriter and script consultant. Prior to being a script consultant, he took a few screenwriting courses in college along with other film courses. After college, he continued working on his first feature and started submitting his scripts to a variety of screenwriting contests. In fact, his first feature made it as a quarterfinalist in the 2019 Bluecat Screenwriting Competition. He’s written several scripts, mainly short films, and is focusing on helping writers with their scripts!
What was the last thing you read or watched you considered exceptionally well-written?
In my spare time, I’ve been watching a variety of things, but as for shows that have been well-written, I’d say WandaVision and Bridgerton. I thought I wouldn’t like those types of shows because I’m not much of a comic book fan and had never heard of Bridgerton, but I find both shows enjoyable to binge. I’m usually someone who likes musicals, so this might sound a bit cheesy, but I’m really enjoying Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist! It’s got humor, heart, and great songs that tell a story and moves the plot forward. At first I thought the concept sounded corny, but seven minutes into the pilot, I was hooked and became totally obsessed. I sometimes get emotional during that show. Oh, and I also like The Mandalorian.
How’d you get your start in the industry?
I started when I first took a screenwriting course in college. At first, I thought it was going to be a real challenge. Prior to taking the course, I had no idea how much work it takes to write a script. But after completing the course, I actually found screenwriting very enjoyable and took a few more courses to develop my craft. In fact, I’m still working on a script I started writing during one of my courses. After college, I continued working on my script and started submitting it to contests and paying for some feedback. After receiving feedback from professionals in the industry, I was inspired to start my own script consulting business.
Is recognizing good writing something you think can be taught or learned?
I think it’s a mix of both. When I look at a script, I can tell the writer’s experience based on their writing. For example, if someone has dialogue that’s flat or very on-the-nose, I can tell they’re just starting out. But then again, lots of writers, even professionals, tend to sometimes have some on-the-nose dialogue in their writing. When it comes to writing, I see myself as both student and teacher so it could go either way. When I read a script, my feedback is based on both what I’ve learned in my screenwriting courses and the feedback I’ve received on my own scripts.
What do you consider the components of a good script?
A good script in my opinion is a solidly structured story. If you don’t have a structured story from start to end, the reader tends to lose interest early on. I’ve noticed this in more than a few scripts I’ve read, but it can be easily fixed. Before anyone starts writing, I’d suggest having a beat sheet so the writer has a blueprint of their script from beginning to end. Another component of a good script is conflict. Every scene, whether it’s big or small, has to have conflict. And finally, character development is extremely important. I love seeing characters develop from start to end, and that’s what makes movies great.
What are some of the most common screenwriting mistakes you see?
The most common mistake I see is sometimes the writers will start their script with the inciting incident at the very beginning and continue on from there. The problem with this approach is I don’t get a sense of who the protagonist is as a person. I don’t necessarily have a reason to root for them to achieve their goal over the course of the film. That’s why I strongly recommend writers have a beat sheet before they jump into writing their script. It’s going to make things so much easier for the reader and the script is going to be a smooth read. (If you want to know more, I’ve written a blogpost about it.)
What story tropes are you just tired of seeing?
I’m kind of tired of seeing love triangle plotlines. If I wanted to watch a love triangle plotline, I’ll just rewatch Friends. I also hate it when two people are having a conversation in the car and the driver takes their eyes off the road and continues talking with the passenger for 30 seconds or longer. Seriously, it irks me a bit.
What are some key rules/guidelines every writer should know?
Don’t be boring.
Every scene must have conflict and serve a purpose. Additionally, each scene needs to drive the plot forward.
If you have writer’s block, keep writing and come back to it later.
It’s okay to take a break every now and then. Sometimes it’s best to rest after 2 hours of writing nonstop.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Have you ever read a script where you thought “This writer really gets it”? If so, what were the reasons why?
I remember reading a script a while ago where it was a bit hard for me to provide critical feedback on their script because it was so well-structured. I was in awe of their script and in fact, made a few minor suggestions to them in the feedback. A few months later, they posted in one of the Facebook screenwriting groups that their script made it to the quarter-finals in a screenwriting contest.
How do you feel about screenwriting contests? Worth it or not?
It depends on the contest. Some contests, like Bluecat for example, have a reasonable price and the feedback is free. The best part is writers can resubmit their scripts twice, which is nice. But not all feedback is free, and you have to pay an extra fee to get feedback on your script. Plus, depending on where you’re submitting, the contests can be very competitive. As a script consultant, my goal is to help writers develop their craft before they start submitting their work to the professionals in the industry.
How can people find out more about you and the services you provide?
Multiple generations, engaged and enraptured. Fine by me.
During a recent phone conversation with another writer, I’d mentioned having wrapped up work on the pulp sci-fi spec.
“What’s it about?” they asked. I proceeded to give them my 10-second elevator pitch, plus the “THIS meets THAT” combo.
“Huh,” was the response. “It sounds cool, but it also sounds like it would be a kids’ movie.”
I suppose that’s one way to look at it. My preference is “a rollercoaster ride of a story, fun for anybody from 8 to 88”. That’s always been my approach when I set out to spin a ripping yarn.
Was I supposed to view their comment as some kind of insult? As if there’s something negative or shameful about writing material that appeals to kids? Because that hasn’t worked at all for Disney or Pixar.
PIxar especially has a reputation for producing films that appeal to all ages. There’s been a lot written about the immense amount of time they spend on making sure the story is rock-solid. One of the most-read articles for screenwriting is based on part of their process, and those don’t just apply to animation; they’re for ALL screenwriting.
Let me also throw a couple of “kids movies” out there. You might have heard of them.
Star Wars. Harry Potter.
One’s been around for 40 years, with no sign of letting up, while the other just celebrated 20 years of entertaining readers and moviegoers.
On the surface, both are solid, simplistic stories about the fight of good versus evil. But is that all they are? Heavens no! There’s universal appeal, engaging characters who grow and change, themes being explored, conflict like you wouldn’t believe – all told through a filter of imagination. Don’t let the presence of lightsabers, magic wands, or animated, talking animals distract you from what’s really going on.
And let’s be honest. Both of those series have done more than okay at the box office.
Not too shabby for “kids movies”.
Now, I’m not saying any of my scripts are in the same arena as those, but a good story is a good story, no matter who its target audience is. And if it appeals to a younger generation as well as my own, what’s wrong with that?
And you know what else works with kids movies? Kids grow up, and eventually have kids of their own. What do they watch? The movies the parents enjoyed as kids.
Who wouldn’t want to write something that leaves a lasting impression on a young mind, and then see them pass their love of that story to later generations?
For me, that’s what it all comes down to – writing a script that tells a fun and exciting story that anybody could enjoy. And if that includes kids, that’s fine by me.
A reference only a select few will get. (85 cents?? Truly a bygone age)
While engaged in a very engaging conversation about screenwriting earlier this week, the person with whom I was conversing with asked the simplest and most straight-forward of questions:
“What do you like to write?”
Without a moment’s hesitation, I proudly stated, “Adventures.”
You can’t even say the word without implying the thrills and excitement it entails. Hands on hips, chest out, shoulders back, and a firmly-set jaw are automatically included.
I’ve enjoyed dabbling in other genres (such as drama and comedy), but nothing really grabs me like thinking up and writing out some sort of heart-pounding, edge-of-your-seat rollercoaster ride of a scene or sequence.
Those really never get old.
They say “Write what you know,” and although I’ve never actually fought monsters, manned a runaway train, or flown a space-faring vessel, years of reading and watching material of that type and nature has taught me an effective way of how to effectively inject adrenaline into what I’m writing.
More than a few readers have commented that my love and appreciation of the material and genre are boldly evident on the page, which is what I’m hoping to accomplish every time.
My mantra has always been “Write something I would want to see”, and my list of future projects is jam-packed with numerous ideas and concepts that neatly fall into that category; each one a variation on the topic of discussion.
If these are the kinds of stories I was meant to write, you’ll get no complaints from me. I get a real kick out of cranking this stuff out. There’s no reason to think this can’t develop into what I build a career on and eventually become known for (he said, his fingers firmly crossed). My scripts. Rewriting someone else’s. Contributing to another. It’s all cool as far as I’m concerned.
Until then, all I can do is keep writing and making my readers feel their pulses quicken as they eagerly turn the page, absolutely spellbound to find out how the hero gets themselves out of this particular pickle, and, more importantly, what happens next.
Strap yourselves in, chums. This is going to be one helluva ride.
Maximum Z 