westerns

From the archives: If only you could eat a bad script

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Rather a tasty metaphor, no?

I’d originally planned to repost this because I liked what the topic was discussing. It became especially pertinent after reading the first line. The past repeated itself this week with my fantasy-comedy also not advancing to the quarterfinals in PAGE this year. It stung a bit – especially after an earlier draft accomplished it two years ago. But it is what it is, and I’ve gotten past it as I focus on more important stuff. In the meantime, enjoy this post from July 2016.

Before we get to the gist of today’s post, let’s address the elephant in the room: my western did not advance to the quarterfinals of the PAGE contest.

Honestly, I was a little surprised; I thought it would have done better. After a brief wallow in disappointment, I shrugged my shoulders and moved on. It’s just another one of those things over which I have no control. I still have a ton of confidence in this script and might submit again next year. Also waiting to see how it fares in Austin and the Nicholl.

True, it was a rather lousy way to start the weekend, but over the next couple of days, I managed to redirect my focus, which included a nice long run that involved traversing the Golden Gate Bridge, and attempting something I’ve always wanted to try:

Making a pineapple upside-down cake (from scratch, naturally).

Guests were coming over for dinner, and I’d made pies for them before. But this time,  I wanted to try something entirely new and preferably a little challenging. I’d say this falls into both categories.

I scoured the internet for an ideal recipe, found one to my satisfaction, and followed the directions to the letter. The result? It looked like it was supposed to, and that’s where the similarities end. A little too sweet and the center was still kind of goopy. Nevertheless, my guests still liked it, and K & I split the last piece after they left. Not bad for a first attempt.

Why did it not turn out the way I expected? A lot of reasons. The oven’s a piece of junk. It didn’t bake long enough. The ingredients and the amount of them probably need to be tweaked. No matter what, I know now that I can adjust all of these next time and get closer to the results I seek.

Except for the oven. It will forever remain a piece of junk until it dies. Which can’t happen soon enough. But I digress.

Notice all of the comparisons you could make between baking and writing a script? Trying something new and long-sought-after. Seeking advice and guidance. Following the guidelines. Doing what I was supposed to. An okay-but-was-hoping-for-better initial result. Planning ahead on what to fix/adjust for next time.

If a less-than-determined baker ended up with the cake I made, they’d probably denounce the whole process, give up entirely and probably buy pre-made stuff at the supermarket. But we’re made of sterner stuff. We hit a snag or some kind of unforeseen development, and we compensate as best we can. We learn what not to do next time. Sometimes you end up with something jaw-droppingly amazing, and sometimes you end up with something totally inedible.

With this whole experience behind me, I can now focus on projects of the immediate future, which includes another round of editing and revising a script, and making a pie or two for a dinner party this coming weekend.

It’s my intention to have the results of both of these undertakings be totally and utterly irresistible when they’re done and ready to serve.

Did it before. Can do it again

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The biggest note I’ve received on the animated fantasy-comedy is that my protagonist needs to be more involved; be the thing that drives things forward, and how what she does affects those around her.

The challenging part is figuring out how to do that while keeping a lot of important story details.

Challenging, but not impossible.

Just as I imagine this task becoming more insurmountable the more I think about it, I’m reminded that I did a major overhaul on my western that involved the same thing. The protagonist needed to be more proactive in driving the story forward.

The end result had A LOT of changes that required a new approach. It took some time, but I was able to accomplish that, and the script ended up being better for it.

No reason to think I can’t repeat it this time around.

Thus the revising is underway. Slow, but steady.

I’ll get there.

Took a while, but oh so worth it

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The last batches of notes are coming in for the animated fantasy-comedy spec, and believe you me it is SO MUCH better for all of them.

I had faith and confidence in the story and the writing when the initial drafts were done, but it was the as-always-invaluable feedback I got that really helped fine-tune and polish to what it is now.

Bonus – everybody really liked the story and had fun reading it

Bigger bonus – the jokes worked, including more than a few “I actually laughed out at this”. This was a very important issue for me, and I’m elated that this was the result.

I’ve completed a quick tweak/polish and will probably do one more read-through just to be sure before I start sending it out to the big contests next week.

(Reminder for those who enjoy working under pressure – Nicholl early bird deadline is Mar 1 – next Wednesday)

In years past, I’d seek out notes from just about anybody and everybody. When you get numerous sets of notes, and many have conflicting opinions, it does no favors for you or your script.

Lesson learned. Now after each draft, I reach out to 2-3 readers with the same level of experience as me, or more, when possible. It might take a few rounds of doing this, but each draft gets the script to where it needs to be.

With my western, I thought my writing was as good as it was going to get. But working on this script has shown me that I wasn’t done yet. I’m the last one to toot my own horn, but this one seems more solid and put-together on several fronts.

They say you should be able to hear the writer’s “voice” when you read their script; that it sounds like something they would have written. I think that’s always been the case with each of mine, but for this one, you can hear me loud and clear.

The Maximum Z Winter ’22 Script Showcase

Maximum Z action, adventure, comedy, coming of age, community, drama, fantasy, genre, horror, mystery, networking, romance, science fiction, screenplay, screenwriting, script, spec, television, thriller, westerns, writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

This blog has always been about trying to help out the screenwriting community and give others a boost whenever possible.

Letting the world know about your script seems like a pretty good boost.

This edition lists 33 feature and 15 TV spec scripts, all available for reading via the writer’s email. Something strikes your fancy and sounds like a fun read? Contact the writer and ask.

Is your script on this list and you want to let everybody know about it? Copy the url and post to your social media platforms. Go ahead and toot that horn.

Once again, a huge thanks to all the talented writers who sent in their script info. I hope you each get lots of eyes on your material, along with more than a few read requests, and all the good things those could potentially lead to…

Thanks for reading, and enjoy.

FILM

AMERICAN PRESIDENT: DEMON SLAYER

Paul Newton

Horror Comedy

Facing off against a horde of demons and the satanic cult who summoned them, a new President must find her voice in order to save the world and her soul.

Winner – Best Horror Comedy Screenplay – Oregon Horror Screams Film Festival – Fall 2022

kingawesomepaul@gmail.com

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BAH, LOVEBUG! A VALENTINE CAROL

Rebekah “RX” Score & James “Doc” Mason

Holiday (Valentine’s Day) Comedy

On the eve of ruining her niece’s wedding, a love-challenged divorce attorney must rediscover the reason for the romantic season with the whimsical guidance of the Ghosts of Valentine’s Day Past, Present, and Future!

screenRIOTer@gmail.com

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BEX URBEX

Ross Allaire

Horror

A paranoid lifestyle YouTuber and a ghost-hunter team up to investigate an abandoned factory with a dark past, but when they’re attacked by ghostly foes, they’ll need to trust each other and work together to escape with their lives.

BLAIR WITCH 2 meets FOUND FOOTAGE 3D

rossallaire@gmail.com

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B.M.O.C.

J.E. Swainston

Horror

When a misunderstood university professor meets the woman of his dreams, his life takes a dark turn that ends in horrific tragedy.

janetswainston@gmail.com

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BREAST IN SHOW

Andrea Berting

Dramedy

A young breast cancer patient helps her senior support group members learn to love their bodies again by teaching them the art of burlesque.

Top Ten Finalist – Comedy – Final Draft Big Break 2022

Top 50 – Launchpad

Best Original Comedy Screenplay – Richmond Intl Film Festival 2022

andreaberting@gmail.com

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CALYPSO

Fiona Faith Ross

Fantasy, Thriller

Traveling to ‘the old country’ to find her only remaining family, a bereaved young American woman is forced to choose life or death when learning her aunt is a goddess needing a younger host to survive.

Winner – Best Script, Pinnacle Script Awards (LA) 2021

fionafaithross@gmail.com

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CUSSING, FUSSING, FIGHTING AND KILLING

Anthony Moore

Drama

An ambitious software engineer tries to start a business only to have his life ruined when his scheming aunt turns his own wife against him.

Award Winner – Andromeda Film Festival 2022

Quarterfinalist – Wiki! The World’s Fastest Screenplay Contest 2022

techrat@live.com

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DRAGON CREME BRULEE

Katie Haskins

Fantasy

When a failure of a fire mage discovers a lost journal, it sets him on a path at odds with history, his world, and the woman he loves.

Quarterfinalist – Finish Line Script Competition 2022

katie.haskins@gmail.com

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DUEL REALITY

Gerasimos Rozis & Cypher Robinson

Sci-Fi/Action

When she discovers that her VR program to treat PTSD has been hijacked, an obsessed programmer enters the VR world to stop a ruthless military contractor from using it to build the perfect soldier.

cyphers.bridge@gmail.com

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ELLA

Michael Dean

Crime/Thriller

To escape her unhappy life in Oakland, a teenager embarks on a dangerous odyssey that sees her confront drug dealers and human traffickers as she seeks a new place to call home.

Top 1% – Coverfly Thriller, All-Time Top 20

Semifinalist – Austin Film Festival 2022

Semifinalist – Vail Film Festival 2022

Finalist – Bigfoot Script Challenge 2022

Semifinalist – WeScreenplay Feature Screenwriting Lab 2022

dirtydovecreative@gmail.com

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FALLING FROM THE SKY

Robert Rhyne

Thriller, Crime

After a troubled Texas teenager is convicted of lying to the police for claiming that he saw an astronaut fall from the Columbia Space Shuttle explosion, he witnesses a murder, but no one will believe him – except the killer.

Finalist – PAGE International Screenwriting Awards 2022

Finalist – StoryPros 2020

Second Rounder – Austin Film Festival 2020

Top 10% – Nicholl Fellowship in Screenwriting 2020

randprhyne@aol.com

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FAMILY

Cythina Ros McClendon

Drama

When her husband puts their family farm up for sale, his wife must reunite their far-flung family in order to save it.

CRMcFL@aol.com

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FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND

Brian Mulligan

Dramedy/Coming-of-Age

A strong-willed teen and her guilt-ridden brother battle grief and each other after the accidental death of their closest friend changes their lives forever.

‘Stand by Me’ meets ‘The Fault in Our Stars.’

Semifinalist – ScreenCraft Screenwriting Fellowship 

Quarterfinalist – Shore Scripts Feature Contest 

Finalist – Set in Philadelphia 

Second Rounder – Austin Film Festival 

bmull863@gmail.com

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HOPE CALLING

Ina Williams

Holiday, Romance, Family

When a harsh anonymous blog goes viral about a small town in Georgia called Hope, a grieving journalist travels there and gets more than a story when he meets an artist who calls the town, home.

Quarterfinalist – Final Draft Big Break 2022

ina.onyx@gmail.com

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LIVE-STREAM

Ramsey Patrick Anderson

Thriller

When a long-haul truck driver learns he’s driving a series of Fight-To-The-Death, live-streamed matches in his trailer, he must risk his life to stop it.

djgameshow@yahoo.com

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MADRE OSO (MOTHER BEAR)

J.R. Blomberg

Action Crime Drama

A single Latina mother, desperate to afford the medication her son urgently needs, unknowingly traffics young women across the border for a Cartel funded trucking company… for her children’s sake, she better deliver.

jrblomberg75@gmail.com

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ONE HIT WONDERLAND

Jack Caswell

Comedy, Action, Adventure

Sick of reading the same bedtime story to his son, a weary father wishes death upon the title character only to wake up in the story-book world and discover his only way home is to carry out the hit.

2nd Rounder – Austin Film Festival 2022

Runner-up/2nd overall – Byron Bay International Film Festival 

Semifinalist – Filmmatic Comedy Screenplay Awards – Season 7 (2022)

Quarterfinalist – Screencraft Comedy Competition 2022

Top 1% – WeScreenplay Recommend

jackcaswell84@gmail.com

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ORSON & BUDDY

Bill Kelly, Jr.

Dramatic Comedy

Dying celebrity impersonator Orson Welles must make peace with best friend and fellow impersonator Buddy Holly before Buddy’s new girlfriend stops them from finishing their sequel to Citizen Kane.

kellyjrbill@gmail.com

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REASONABLE SUSPICION

Joel McElvaney

Comedy/Thriller

Ready to leave her corporate-lawyer husband over suspicions of infidelity, a legal aid attorney must instead go on the run with him when his millionaire client sends a hitman to kill them both.

REAR WINDOW meets MIDNIGHT RUN

Quarterfinalist – StoryPros 2022

jdmcelvaney@gmail.com

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RECIPE FOR HATE

Brent Rouleau

Mystery/Thriller

Facing police indifference and anti-punk hysteria after his two friends are brutally murdered, a punk rock zine writer becomes the next target when he enters the dark world of neo-Nazi extremism to find the killers and end the bloodshed.

leafswinin05@yahoo.ca

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SKITCHING

Thomas R. Schrack

Coming of age adventure

When his ride to a skateboard competition bails on him, a penniless teen has 90 minutes to scratch together $300 for another ride or get stuck in the city he desperately wants to leave, forever.

MID 90s meets DOPE.

thomas.r.schrack@gmail.com

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TEN TEXAN OUTLAWS

Ian Jeffrey Martin

Neo Western with a supernatural twist

Forced to repay a debt to a ruthless gangster, a heist crew seeks out an ancient treasure, but discovers the long-dead gang of outlaws it belonged to refuse to give it up without a fight.

Top 50 – Roadmap Writers Jumpstart Features 2022

Semifinalist – Screencraft Action & Adventure

Top 10% – Coverfly – All projects

Top 16% – Coverfly – Westerns

ian@ianmartinscreenwriter.com

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THE BOCA SHUFFLE

Tod Klinger

Dramedy

A restless man stuck in assisted living convinces his millennial van driver to take him and his motley crew on a cross-country road trip to reunite with “the one who got away.” 

8 – The Black List

Quarterfinalist – TSL Free Script Competition 2021

klingertod@gmail.com

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THE CROOKED CROSS

Wendy Appelbaum and Alanna Lewis

Thriller

Tormented by the loss of her parents to the Nazis, a Jewish author expiates her resolved grief by tracking down surviving Nazis who have secretly emigrated to the west.

Quarterfinalist – Screencraft Action & Thriller 2014

Quarterfinalist – Script2Comic 2022

wappel_80@hotmail.com

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THE DARK BELOW

Brian Fitzpatrick

Sci-FI/Horror

Ruthless mercenaries, fanatical cultists, and celestial horrors won’t stand in the way of an all-girl urban explorer team hell bent on rescuing a little girl from the grip of a shadowy monster in a secretive lab.

brianfitzauthor@gmail.com

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THE DYBBUK OF WILLIAMSBURG

Max Kinchen

Horror

When her groom is possessed by a vengeful disembodied spirit on their wedding night, a young bride must challenge the notions of her own faith and her place in the Ultra-Orthodox Jewish community in a race to set him free.

Second Rounder – Austin Film Festival 2022

Official Selection – HorrOrigins Film Festival 2022

Recommended – The Script Lab (coverage)

max.kinchen@gmail.com

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THE GRAND JURY

Suzanne Lutas

Sci-Fi/Thriller, Short Film

A small random group gets a chance at an interview for a sought-after position and must endure a long wait in a room where the test truly begins.

Winner – Best Short Screenplay – Arrow International Film Festival 2022

Semi-finalist – Wiki Screenplay Contest – January 2022

Semi-finalist – Reelheart International TV Pilot & Screenplay Competition 2018

suzannebl@mail.pf

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THE HALF LIFE OF HARRY FIGG

Mark Wesley

Sci-Fi/Comedy/Drama

A troubled street kid’s life is turned around when he comes to the aid of a reclusive scientist whose fusion experiment is targeted by industrial spies.

Semifinalist – Los Angeles International Screenplay Awards

Quarterfinalist – Stage 32 Sci-Fi and Fantasy

Quarterfinalist – New York City International Screenplay Awards

Quarterfinalist – Chicago International Screenplay Awards

markwesley13@gmail.com

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THE LAST EARTH STATION

Kathryn Radmall

Sci-Fi

When a long forgotten colony ship reappears on the far side of the galaxy, explorers are sent to discover what happened to it, and why the vessel’s enigmatic commander insists it can never return to Earth.

Winner – Bridge Fest, Vancouver

Nominee – Hybrid Genre, ‘The Red List’, Toronto

Winner – Los Angeles Motion Picture Festival

Winner – H.G. Wells Award, LA Sci-Fi Film Festival

Nominee – Hamilton Film Festival, Canadian Film Market

kathryn.radmall@icloud.com

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THE MERC

Scott Sawitz

Action thriller

After reinventing himself as a badass security specialist, an everyday schlub must become the badass he’s pretended to be in order to prevent his secret double life from being exposed.

Formerly under option – Pause ‘n’ Rewind Studio

SJSawitz@yahoo.com

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THE VACATION CLAUSE

Mere Walton

Holiday/Comedy/Drama

When Santa Claus disappears at the most important time of the year, a recently deceased grandfather and new elf-in-training, must recruit his grieving granddaughter to help him save Christmas in order to convince her there’s joy in her life that’s yet to be discovered.

mwaltonwrites@gmail.com

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WE GOT THE BEAT

Eric Vardeman

Coming Of Age

It’s the summer of ’83 and five fun loving best friends are out to have the time of their lives after a stroke of luck comes their way but discover that luck brings them more than they bargained for.

evardeman@gmail.com

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WELCOME TO GARYTOWN

Seth Nelson

Comedy

When a popular podcaster discovers a small-town taxidermist is his job-hopping childhood friend in disguise, he must decide whether to go along with the prank or reveal his identity in an effort to boost his own career.

Best of the Fest – Die Laughing Film Festival 2022

Best Comedy Screenplay – 4Theatre Film Fest 2022

Semifinalist – Mad Wife Productions Fellowship 2022

Semifinalist – Krimson Horizon International Film Festival 2022

Best Comedy Screenplay – New Age Cinemas & Scripts 2022

snelson1076@me.com

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TV

A FAMILY

Cid Weinberg

Drama/Family

An LGBTQ+ California family must navigate everyday life, teen angst, and overcome heartache after the sudden death of their patriarch.

Quarterfinalist – Screencraft Family 2022

Quarterfinalist – Screenwriter’s Network Competition Goldman Award 2021

Finalist – Dallas International Film Festival 2021

Top 10 (2x) – Coverfly 2022

cidbanayatweinberg@gmail.com

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ALIVE: A FRANKENSTEIN REIMAGINING

Aimee Dansereau

Sci-Fi/Horror

In this modern day reimagining of Frankenstein, the unhinged Dr. Victoria Frankenstein brings Mary to life, and forces her to kill people for scientific experimentation, but as Mary evolves into an ethical person, it’s up to her to stop her evil creator.

Semifinalist – Screencraft Screenwriting Fellowship 2021

Finalist – Big Apple Film Festival Screenwriting Competition – Fall 2021

Quarterfinalist – Screencraft Horror 2022

Semifinalist – Filmmatic Drama Screenplay Awards – Season 7

Quarterfinalist – Filmatic Horror Screenplay Awards – Season 6

adansereau8@gmail.com

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ALTER/EGO

Tyler Clair Smith

Sci-Fi

When the world’s most despised billionaire is revealed to be a beloved hero, he must scramble to save his company while preserving his legacy as a hero.

tclairsmith@gmail.com

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CANDY IS AWESOME

Steve Kimura

Action/Comedy

A group of CIA operatives use their cover as a pop band to save the world and discover that the music biz can be as treacherous as the bad guys they encounter.

stevekimura@me.com

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CRACKED

Zac Lucas

Native American detective, mystery series

Still guilty over his three-year-old daughter’s untimely death, a Lakota Aspie detective fights skeptical and hostile colleagues, to prove his visionary skills matter when (re)solving mysterious cases.

kiwee@y7mail.com

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HAWKWOOD

Karen E. Simmons

Light comedy/murder-mystery

Former Scotland Yard Inspector John Hawkwood is trying to redeem himself from his dark past by working as a private detective in an idyllic Cotswolds village in 1956 England, surrounded by a cast of equally quirky & unconventional characters.

Semi-finalist – Santa Barbara International Screenplay Awards, 2022

ksimmons511@yahoo.com

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IN THE SHADOWS

A.J. Retelle

Drama, Mystery, Horror

Van Helsing Institute agents investigate a vampire murder that could set off a war between rival clans.

ajretelle85@gmail.com

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JENKINS AND WATTS: PARANORMAL ATTORNEYS AT LAW

Michael P. Brennan

Comedy/Horror

In a world where ghosts exist and have rights, Jenkins and Watts defend them against overzealous law enforcement, organized crime, and literal demons from hell…for fair market price.

Semifinalist – Screencraft Comedy 2022

Semifinalist – The Golden Script Competition 2022

Recommended – Shore Scripts coverage

Top 4% overall, top 3% genre – Coverfly

mbrenn3@gmail.com

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KNEAD THE DOUGH

Brett Joyce

Half-hour comedy

A corporate salesman attempts to understand why he left his pizza chef job for the woman that just rejected his proposal in Hawaii as he finds solace in a pizza truck, The Dough Mobile. While he thought he needed dough to solve his life problems, what really needs to solve them is that he has to knead the dough.

2nd Rounder – Austin Film Festival 2022

realbrettjoyce@gmail.com

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LIFER GUARDS

Lisa Lutes

Half-hour comedy

Unable to find anything better, a group of millennial lifeguards remain stuck in their high school jobs at a community pool.

lmluey@gmail.com

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RESTLESS SOULS

Victoria Thomas

Dark Comedy with Horror/Fantasy elements

Two brothers’ loyalties are put to the test as they run from their guilt, but not all blood can be washed away.

8.9/10 – Coverfly (project in top 4% for analyst)

vikkisumner1@gmail.com

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SMALL TOWN COUNTRY (GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME SETH)

David Crosman

Half-hour sitcom

The leader of a new and small nation must figure out healthcare or lose citizens. Two low-level officials woo a dignitary in the hopes of getting a cushy job.

2nd Rounder – Austin Film Festival 2022

Consider – Coverage Ink 2022

davidcrosmanwa@gmail.com

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SOUTHSIDE SHUFFLE

Dave Goossen

Drama

A disgraced musician returns home with hopes of reopening a club but gets caught up in deceit and the dangerous criminal underbelly of a picture-perfect tourist town.

davegoossen@gmail.com

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THE PENITENT

Sheila Cavanaugh Dionne

Drama

A recently deceased girl and her accidental killer team up with an angel to save their respective families from looming disasters.

sheila@fortunamajor.tv

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TOUCH OF DARKNESS

James Welday

Film noir, sci-fi, mystery

When re-emerging memories of a life he never lived begin plaguing an unassuming salesman, his reality takes a nightmarish turn.

jameswelday1@yahoo.com

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Reading for reading’s sake

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This week I opted to give myself a bit of a break among the writing and outlining sessions, and read some scripts just for the hell of it. Admittedly, some of them had been in my “to read” queue for quite a while, and right now seemed as good a time as any to finally get to them.

No notes. No feedback. Just sitting back, relaxing, and losing myself in the stories.

They ranged from a horror to a historical action, a western to a drama based on true events.

And each and every one was fantastic in its own unique way.

It also helps that these are the works of some excellent writers to begin with, so that made the overall experience that much better.

If I’d been asked when I was starting out if I could ever just read a script, I’m not sure if the answer would have been yes. I suspect I’d’ve been too concerned with thinking “what works in this script?” and “what can I learn from this?”

But the experience that’s come from reading and writing scripts has enabled me to look at a screenplay as more than an educational document. I can see solid storytelling, strong plots, three-dimensional characters, snappy dialogue, and all the other elements.

All of those elements combine to make for some darned good scripts.

It’s one of the best pieces of advice when a newer writer asks “How can my scripts be better?”

READ SCRIPTS!

There’s a vast assortment from which to choose, making it super-easy for you to customize your reading list.

And to take it one step further, numerous members of the online screenwriting community would be happy to share or swap scripts. You just have to do the work in finding something that piques your interest. Believe me, they are definitely out there.

If your schedule allows, try to make the effort to read one to two scripts a week. You’ll be glad you did.