plot

Perfect! Brilliant! Oh, wait…

Maximum Z creativity, Doctor Who, plot, Radioslot.com, scenes, screenwriting, story, The Script Adventurer!, writing
Not bad for a first attempt. Try again.

For some inexplicable reason, my brain decided to cooperate and I was able to navigate a somewhat twisty-turny route that got me to the end of Act Two. After some self-inflicted nervous anticipation, it actually worked out better, and admittedly easier, than I expected.

But all is not sunshine and roses. There’s one short sequence that still bothers me.  As it reads now, it comes across as too comedic, almost even silly, and it doesn’t seem to match the tone of the rest of the story.  At the time it seemed great, but in retrospect…not so much.

My first instinct is to dive in and change it. But before I do that, I need to approach it from several angles. Does it move the story forward in terms of plot, character and theme?  What other way (or ways) could this happen so it still maintains the overall feel of the story? How could this play out so it surprises and entertains  the reader/viewer?

Granted these are things that should apply to every scene and sequence throughout the entire script, but they’re always in the back of your mind when you’re narrowing your focus.

-As far as I know, there are still some slots for this fantastic opportunity. If you can attend, I highly recommend it.

-I recorded a special summer movie preview edition of The Script Adventurer! earlier this week with some movie-loving chums. It was a lot of fun, and will air Monday at the usual time (1PM PST on radioslot.com).

I also found out how to break the bonds of your computer and listen to the show on your smartphone. Open your phone’s web browser, go to radioslot.com, click on ‘Listen Now’, then click ‘Listen Now’ under the Talk Slot section. On the right side of the space marked ‘Now Playing’, there should be 4 little icons. Click the left-most one – WinAmp. And voila! My dulcet tones should be working their way into your earholes. Let me know how it works for you.

Ain’t 21st-century technology grand?  But sadly, still no jetpacks or flying cars.

Follow that bad guy!

Maximum Z antagonist, creativity, Movie of the Moment, originality, plot, Raiders of the Lost Ark, screenwriting, story, writing
Villains should be just as interesting as heroes; maybe even more so

It’s been a real process working my way through the end of the current project’s Act Two. I know what comes before it, and how Act Three plays out; it’s all that stuff in the middle that’s throwing me.

So while that occupies part of my attention, I also need to build up the antagonist’s story line.  Right now, he’s pretty absent from most of the story, which is not good. I came up with some stuff early on, but it was too silly, so out it went.

I thought about watching/studying something to get a better sense of how to approach this, but I’m not sure what would be comparable.  Basically, the protagonist is actively pursuing the antagonist, who doesn’t know it and is going on about his usual bad guy business until the protagonist catches up to them.  My first thought was RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, but any other suggestions would be welcome.

Developing that storyline will also mean cutting back on protagonist scenes.  At first this was a negative, but eventually became a necessary positive.  The last thing I want to do is drag this out.

-Movie of the Moment – BATTLESHIP. Wow. Somebody was actually paid to write this? Shouldn’t they have done a couple of rewrites before production began? This reeked of amateur. Cliched characters straight off a checklist. Bad guys with ambiguous intentions. Unoriginal dialogue. Predictable to the nth degree. Major overuse of rock music to ’emphasize’ the mood of a scene.

Imagine a second-rate 80s action flick spruced up with 21st-century special effects.

What’s even worse is that this is NOT the last movie based on a board game. Apparently we can look forward to catching RISK, MONOPOLY and CANDYLAND at the local cinema sometime soon.

And the studios wonder why they’re losing money.

So close I can taste it

Maximum Z Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Dark Shadows, Doctor Who, editing, Johnny Depp, Movie of the Moment, plot, productivity, rewrite, Richard Walter, screenwriting, story, subplot, writing
Not my first choice for a celebratory meal

You know that feeling when you’ve been working on something for a very long time, and then you get to the last part? The little voice inside you saying, “Don’t stop! You’re almost there!”

That’s where I am with this edit/polish.

One scene remains to be rewritten. I did a lot of last-second rewriting throughout the whole thing over the past couple of days, but this one’s pretty important – wrapping up some minor subplots. It would be too easy to fall into the trap of putting too much into it, so this is going to take some planning.

It was a challenge to go through this as both writer and editor. Not only did I have to make sure everything was working in terms of the plot, story, character development, and that kind of thing, but also had to keep an eye out for spelling mistakes, overuse of prepositional phrases, repetitive dialogue, etc.  End result – leaner, tighter, faster-moving pages.  I hope.

Also nice – page total down 4 to 111, and I already know a few things here and there that could be taken out, or at least changed.  Part of that will also depend on the feedback and comments I get from the select few I’ll ask to read this latest draft. Count me among those who appreciate constructive criticism.

-Movie of the Moment – DARK SHADOWS (2012). Entertaining, but poorly written. Too much tell, not enough show. Lots of set-ups without payoffs, and vice versa. Characters disappear for 30+ minutes. Didn’t like the ending either.  Just because you like the guy who wrote PRIDE, PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES or ABRAHAM LINCOLN, VAMPIRE HUNTER doesn’t mean you should have him write your movie. Incidentally, the trailer for the latter made K laugh harder than anything in the movie we came to see.

I thought Johnny Depp did a pretty good job as Barnabas, but I wonder how he would do in a non-quirky role. (Although I am interested to see the forthcoming LONE RANGER, but not because of Depp).

Not necessarily something I was looking forward to, but glad I only paid $6 to see it. Also – way too many trailers!  Ben Affleck’s ARGO looks really good. Adam Sandler’s THAT’S MY BOY looks like total shit.

-If you’re in the Westwood area of Los Angeles this summer and want to get really serious about writing a screenplay, you can’t go wrong by clicking here.

I can see clearly now

Maximum Z anime, editing, Heather Hale, Miyazaki, plot, Radioslot.com, reading, rewrite, screenwriting, story, The Script Adventurer!
Ahoy! Rewrite dead ahead!

This week’s installment of The Script Adventurer! featured an interview with the multi-talented Heather Hale.  She’s worked as a writer, a director, a producer and as a consultant, so she definitely knows her stuff. (Mark your calendars – the show re-plays Sunday at 7PM on radioslot.com)

I always like to know what key piece of advice a professional or working writer would offer to the rest of us.  A thought or phrase to jot down on an index card and attach to the wallspace in front of your working area.

Heather named two.

1. Clarity is king.

You may know your story inside and out, but if the person reading it can’t follow it or is confused as to what’s going on, then you’ve got a problem.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve got the most brilliant concept ever.  The plot and story have to be clear so anybody can pick up the script and know exactly what’s going on.

It’s up to the writer to make their story as easy to follow and comprehend as possible, or else the reader/audience will get lost in the story, and not in the good way.

2. The reader is never wrong.

You think your script is perfect. The reader knows better. It’s their job to go over it with a fine-tooth comb and look for flaws.  And unless you’ve attacked that script from every conceivable angle, fixing any potential problem you can think of, they will find them.

The reader really does want to like your script, but if you give them any reason to say no, there’s no reason to be bitter about it.  They know what they’re talking about.  Look at this as an opportunity to make your script better or stronger than it was before.

-Movie of the Moment: Three over three days!  It’s been a long time since I’ve done that, and two were actually in theatres. Wow!

THE HUNGER GAMES (2012). I read the book last month, so it was pretty fresh in my mind. I liked it, although it could have been a little shorter. I can appreciate a strong female protagonist, and it’s easy to see why Katniss has caught on.  She’s tough and doesn’t give up.  Congrats to Jennifer Lawrence for doing a solid job in the lead.

I also really enjoyed Stanley Tucci as Caesar Flickerman, the blue-coiffed TV personality with perfect teeth. A great accomplishment in casting.

My only complaint – Katniss doesn’t always drive the action forward. She’s more reactive than active in some scenes.

-THE SECRET WORLD OF ARRIETY (2010). Another animated gem from Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli, based on the classic books THE BORROWERS.  A recurring theme in a lot of their films is the main character’s coming of age. And this one is no exception. If it weren’t for 3 of the characters being 3 inches tall, this could easily pass as a stage production. Good for all ages.

-RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (2011). Smart and well-written. Easy to see why this was a surprise hit last summer. Especially fun if you’re familiar with the original films. K made an interesting point in that you’re rooting for the apes to win, which would mean the eventual downfall of humanity.  Count me in the camp of those who think Andy Serkis should have gotten some kind of recognition for his mocap work as Caesar.

Less really IS more

Maximum Z editing, outlines, plot, screenwriting, story
This scene consists of TWO short, spot-on lines of dialogue

It’s always recommended that when you finish a script, you should put it in a drawer and not look at it again for at least two weeks. That way you can look at it with fresh eyes.

That’s what happened with the LUCY outline. Since I’ve been so pre-occupied with the DREAMSHIP rewrite, I haven’t looked at it since around Halloween.

I thought I had to get to a certain plot point in Act Two, but I’d forgotten I already had. A pleasant surprise, and it just needs a little tweaking.  Nice.

Then I read the rest of Act Two.

Oy.

What was I thinking?  Way too overwritten.  It drags, taking forever to get to where I want/need it to be.  A lot of unnecessary scenes.  And worst of all – my protagonist isn’t driving the action.

Strictly amateur hour.

I now see this as a challenge and opportunity to not only make some major fixes in this section of the story, but to do a massive overhaul in terms of editing and trimming the whole thing down.  If I can cut something and it doesn’t impact the story, then it shouldn’t have been in there in the first place.

This will also have to happen with DREAMSHIP. My midpoint’s on page 60, and that’s around 5-10 pages too many.

Time to get creative and kill some darlings.