self-esteem

Just a little introspective self-reflecting

Maximum Z adventure, community, confidence, determination, encouragement, Groucho, perseverance, persistence, query letter, rejection, rewriting, science fiction, screenplay, screenwriting, script, self-confidence, self-esteem, writing , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The past few days have been all about revising the outline of my sci-fi adventure spec. My editor’s pen has been getting quite a workout as I slash scenes and sequences out of the previous draft with wild abandon.

Sometimes inspiration will strike and I’ll come up with something entirely new that not only makes the point even better, as well as open up more possibilities further along in the story. That’s always nice.

But another side effect of all this work is more occurrences of thoughts along the lines of “Is this going to be any good? Will anybody like it? Is working on this even worth it?”

There are so many labels for this sort of thing. Self-doubt. The Impostor Syndrome. Second guessing yourself.

And writers do it to themselves ALL THE TIME. Yours truly included.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Fear of rejection? We put so much work into our material and are afraid people will think it’s trash?

Been there.

Every writer deals with it in different ways. But the important thing is that you’re dealing with it.

Accepting that somebody probably won’t like it is an important first step. You can’t please everybody, nor should you try to. That faction will always be there.

On the other hand, you might be surprised how many fans you end up getting. While the negative reactions tend to stand out more, they’re usually dwarfed by the number of positive ones. And those positive ones can make quite a difference in eliminating that self-doubt.

You send out your latest draft and hope for the best. Everybody wants glowing and ecstatic reviews, but you should take a more realistic approach and prepare for a variety of reactions. Anything from ‘I loved it!” to “it’s okay” to “just didn’t do much for me”.

And all of those are okay.

There will always be different reactions to your material. It’s how you deal with them that will shape how you choose to move forward.

One option – giving up, and nobody wants that

Another option – continue writing, but not showing it to anybody. Some might take this route, but a majority won’t.

Yet another option – continue writing, and accept whatever the outcome. Probably your best bet.

I recently had an online interaction with a newer writer. They were upset that a query they’d sent got a pass. I explained that it happened all the time, and that it was all part of the process.

Their response was “I just need someone to believe in me”. I told them that the first person who had to do that was themselves, and that if they did that, others would soon follow.

You need to be your biggest fan. If you don’t believe in yourself or your writing, why would somebody else?

So circling all the way back to my current project – I’m admittedly still a bit anxious about all the usual stuff, but I will admit to having a lot of fun writing it. This is the kind of story I love to write AND see, and I need to embrace that mindset. It’s easy to spot when a writer’s love of their story and the material is one the page, which is what I’m shooting for.

Hopefully future readers will pick up on that, thereby influencing them for the better.

So to all the writers out there – may your next writing session be as fun, enjoyable, productive, and inspiring as possible.

You’re stronger and more resilient than you think, even when you don’t think you are.

Two shoulders, no waiting

Maximum Z ambition, confidence, contest, crowdfunding, depression, emotion, empathy, encouragement, frustration, networking, screenwriting, self-esteem, support, sympathy, writing , , , , , , , , ,

shoulder
Plus two sympathetic ears at no additional cost

Trying to make it as a screenwriter is a tough choice to begin with. It’s a long, drawn-out process that takes a long time before any significant results can be achieved. Sure, there are exceptions, but for the most part, it remains a marathon, not a sprint.

And that also means there’s going to be A LOT of heartache and disappointment along the way, and that can really take its toll on you. Not to sound too New Age-y, but all that negative energy can do significant damage to your confidence and self-esteem.

“This is never going to work.”

“I can’t do this.”

“Why do I even bother?”

If you’ve never said or thought any of these things, I’d love to know how in the world you managed to accomplish that and still call yourself a screenwriter.

Many’s the time I’ve seen comments on a public forum from another writer that echo these sentiments, or had them send me a private note saying something similar.

And I feel for them – whole-heartedly. I’ve been that writer thinking those thoughts a lot, too.

Do I wish I could help them out in any capacity? Without a doubt.

Even though it may not be much, I’ll offer up whatever support or encouragement I can. Don’t underestimate the power or effectiveness of telling somebody you’re in their corner. It makes quite the difference knowing you’re not alone during this tumultuous journey.

I once got a note from a writer I barely knew. They knew a writer I knew, and had seen some of my postings online. We were both semi-finalists in a prestigious contest, and it was the day the finalists were being announced.

For reasons totally unknown to me, they contacted me, asking if I’d received any kind of update. I hadn’t.

“Having a total shit writing year so far so I’m clinging to anything positive ha,” was their response.

I told them I was sorry to hear that, and offered up my own frustratingly good-but-not-great batting average, along with a few words of encouragement in the vein of “much as it hurts to get thrown off, you just gotta keep getting back on the horse”.

They were in total agreement.

An hour or so later, the finalists were announced. I wasn’t one of them. But they were. Naturally, I was disappointed, but also happy for them because they had something good happen.

The takeaway here is that you’re not alone in this. Every other writer goes through it. We’re all going to have a lot of bad days, probably a lot more than the number of good days, and it can be tough to get through it, let alone come out stronger.

This is one of those added benefits to networking and connecting with other writers. You’re not just helping to develop your writing and analytical skills, you’re creating your own emotional support network.

Chances are you’ll have a stronger relationship with a small number of people; the ones you’ve interacted with, or shared scripts, exchanged notes, etc., on a more regular basis.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and tell one of them “Hey, I’m not feeling too good about this right now. Mind if I talk about it?” They’ll understand, and be supportive about it (in theory). Just being able to talk about it could help you feel a little better.

Screenwriting is complicated enough, and gets even more so when you throw all your hopes and ambition into it. Sometimes you’ll feel strong, powerful, ready to take on the world. And sometimes you’ll feel like the world’s beaten you to a bloody pulp with no hope for recovery. (Again, I’ve experienced both.)

You can’t force yourself to feel better and restore your confidence, but you can take little steps to help yourself out – at your own pace. And any help you might need is always there and easily accessible.

-Speaking of helping somebody out, friend-of-the-blog Leo Maselli is running a crowdfunding campaign for his anthology feature project CA SHORTS. Donate if you can!