Not necessarily my internal struggle, but you get the idea…
(If you have absolutely no idea who either of these guys are, go here.)
The rewrite’s done, and all of a sudden, I’m nervous. Like, ridiculously so.
I’ve sent scripts out before, but this time something is making it a lot different.
A fear of failure. Of rejection.
What if nobody likes it?
What writer hasn’t gone through this?
But as I tell K every once in a while – the only way I could fail is if I stopped trying, and I don’t plan on doing that either.
It may be that after all this time, the idea of possibly being that much closer to actually achieving my goal is kind of overwhelming. This is where that internal voice kicks in.
Do I have what it takes? Is the script just about ready to be sent out?
Damn straight. I’ve got a lot of confidence in this script and my writing ability.
I can and will do what it takes to make this work.
It took a while, but the initial editing phase is complete. There aren’t a lot of significant changes to be made, but almost every page has something that requires some kind of fix. Fortunately, most of them are very minor, like changing a verb or rearranging the way a scene is described.
There are at least 3, maybe 4 scenes where something needs a little more attention, so I circle it and write my standard “Work on this”.
So all that’s left is one or two thorough typing sessions, one more read-through, a little feedback (professional and trusted colleague), and then diving headfirst into the fray and getting the script out there. (which reminds me I really need to get on the ball and get back to the research phase)
And honestly? I’m getting a little nervous. But in a good way.
This is what I’ve been working towards, and now it feels like it’s just about here.
Is it wrong for me to think there could possibly be a good chance of something happening?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not expecting a million-dollar sale. Although selling a script would be fantastic, I’d much rather get representation and take some meetings that result in steady projects. That would be phenomenal.
For some reason, I’m flashing back to a meeting I had about 11 years ago with a professional writer. I’d written 2 scripts and he read both of them purely as a favor. When we met, the first thing he said was that I was a good writer. I had the talent, but really needed to keep writing in order to get better.
Which is exactly what I’ve been trying to do ever since.
Keep in mind that like everybody else, my first efforts were incredibly lousy (at least compared to my current stuff), so either he was being kind or he actually meant what he said. I really hope it was the latter.
For now, this remains an ongoing process. I’ve said many times it’s all been an absolute blast, and that still holds true.
And something deep inside tells me there’s bigger and better things ahead.
“…the idea of a female train engineer during the time of steam locomotives or even into the early decades of the twentieth century is, I think, virtually inconceivable.”
This was part of a comment that pointed out the historical and factual inaccuracy and basic impossibility of the concept behind my western-adventure.
My problem isn’t with what this person is saying. They’re entitled to their opinion.
What bothers me is that they seem to just flat-out refuse the idea that such a story could, or even should be considered.
Which is exactly why I want to write it.
We don’t go to the movies to watch a reflection of our lives. We go to see a story told in an original and interesting way. The more original and interesting, the better.
I happen to think this one has the potential to be both.
It may not be a 100 percent-accurate depiction of the era, but I’m not setting out to make a documentary. This is escapism. Pure and simple.
Besides – how could I pass up the chance to give my imagination a workout like this? This is why I write.
There will always be those who shoot your ideas down, or at least find fault with them. Listen to what they have to say, take what you want from their comments, and ignore the rest. Then go write what you want.
If they think they can do a better job, by all means – let ’em try.
When you start out doing something, you know what your goal is from the very beginning.
“This is what I want to accomplish” is your mindset.
You work and work, always striving to reach that goal.
There may be setbacks, but you don’t let them stop you or deter you. You remind yourself that reaching that goal will take time. Persevere, as my dad is fond of saying.
Set that bar. Reach for it. Every effort and attempt gets you that much closer to it.
Hit a milestone on the way to that ultimate goal, and ask yourself “How can I improve?” Always strive to do better, because you know you can.
The whole time you’re working towards that goal, part of what keeps you going is looking forward to seeing all that hard work pay off.
And when that goal is finally reached, take time to enjoy it. Besides, chances are you’re going to immediately set another goal and start working towards that one.
My goal in screenwriting is to write a script that will start me on the path of writing them for a living. After a few more tweaks, I think the latest draft of my current script may be the one that does that. This has been a long journey, but I’m a much better writer now compared to when I started out, and it’s all contributed towards reaching that goal.
And working towards these goals doesn’t just apply to creativity.
My goal in running is to do a half-marathon in 1:55. This weekend’s run in Los Angeles yielded a time of 1:57:45, which isn’t bad. I still beat the 2-hour mark, but I know I can eventually hit my goal time. (The hot weather didn’t help. I don’t do well with the sun beating down on me.) In the meantime, I’m continuing to train and am already looking at potential races for next year.
My current goal in the kitchen is to make a pumpkin pie completely from scratch. After years of using the canned stuff, I’ve taken the plunge and bought a sugar pumpkin. (The baklava project has been put on hold until the holidays.)
Everybody has multiple goals they’re working towards. Don’t stop trying.
-Movie of the Moment – ARGO (2012). Absolutely loved it. Great story, great characters, smart script. Highly recommended. I’d be surprised if it didn’t get some Oscar nods. Also can’t help but wonder how Affleck would do directing a film where he wasn’t part of the cast.
Also finished Season 2 of THE WALKING DEAD. Solid all the way through, and ready to jump into Season 3.
As a screenwriter, I’m naturally predisposed to self-doubt and the inability to know whether or not my stuff is any good. I thrive on feedback (as should we all). So whenever I get a word of encouragement, it’s an electrifying jolt of confidence-boosting.
I’m not expecting standing ovations and ticker-tape parades, but if somebody says “Hey, I like this thing you wrote,” then I’m going to feel pretty good about it, not to mention be motivated to keep going and try harder so next time they say, “Hey, I really like this thing you wrote.”
I submitted WOK & ROLL to an online script showcase on Friday, then woke up Saturday morning to find an email from somebody who liked it. It doesn’t look like this is anybody who can actually make anything happen with it, but positive comments are positive comments. I appreciated it.
I also got some encouraging feedback on DREAMSHIP. He broke it down page by page, offering suggestions on how to improve this and that. Can’t say I disagree with any of them. Anything to make the script better.
That’s one of the benefits of joining a writing group or being part of an online group. You get the feedback you need (and you will need it), and you get to help somebody with theirs. Sure, you won’t use all of their comments, but hearing somebody liked something you wrote may be the unexpected shot in the arm you didn’t realize you needed.
-Movie of the Moment – TROLLHUNTER (2010), a clever take on the found-footage genre from Norway. I liked this a lot. The premise: A college film crew looks for a poacher, only to discover he’s a one-man government taskforce assigned to keep the country’s troll population under control. And it ain’t easy.
This managed to avoid the ‘constant filming’ issue; handily so. Great use of sound to enhance the suspense, especially in scenes where you can’t see anything. Despite only a handful of scenes involving CG, each looks seamless and really packs a punch. Even more fun if you watch at night with the lights out.
Maximum Z 