screenwriting

A little better

Maximum Z Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting, story, subplot

After wielding my mighty editing pen, I went through a previous outline and cut out everything I didn’t want to use.  It helped.

I also kept a lot of what I’d written in the previous draft, but after the editing, it seems to flow along a little smoother.  Nice.  Today’s effort got me to around page 41 or so, which means I’m a few pages from the page 45 twist, which I’m still going with, based on my plot points.

Unfortunately, right after that the assorted storylines need to start intersecting, but I’ve got a few ideas.  I’m also concerned about the villain’s storyline.  So far, he’s only been shown once.  I’m trying to avoid having him be Marlon Brando in APOCALYPSE NOW and only show him at the end.  Can’t do that.

While I work on the main storyline and the bounty hunter subplot, I’m still trying to figure out how to incorporate the bad guy subplot so it not only feels natural, but also helps move the story along, builds tension, etc.

It would be nice if creativity whacks me upside the head sometime over the next couple of days.  I could use it.

Is this uphill climb getting steeper?

Maximum Z hockey, Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting, story, Veronica

So I got to around page 22 or so today on the outline.  It’s slightly different than the previous version, but something still seems…off.  I can’t exactly put my finger on it, but it’s like you know there’s something important you have to do, but can’t remember what.

I still like the way the story is developing, but since I’m essentially eliminating one of the subplots (for now), it makes moving ahead a bit harder.

I also seem to keep going back to the previous draft, and that may not be helping.  Especially since that’s what I’m trying to move away from.  That may become more evident as this draft advances.

It also doesn’t help that I’m not plotting ahead enough, so to speak.  I don’t like just taking a stab in the dark and seeing what could work.  I really need to figure out where things are going and how to get there.  I already developed the plot points, and now need to fill in the blanks between them.

Surprisingly, the only version of the previous draft I have is a hard copy from about 2 months ago.  This was the super-detailed one, where each scene breakdown was about 4-5 sentences long.  Even though I won’t be using all of them, some of them I had completely forgotten about, so seeing all that detail and characterization was quite the pleasant surprise.

And even better, I may be able to salvage some of those for this latest draft.  Which would be cool.

V has a hockey tournament up at Lake Tahoe this weekend, so what I’m hoping is that during some of the downtime, I’m able to make some good progress.  Because Lord knows, I don’t plan on being outside if I can help it. A high of 30 degrees?  Are you kidding?

As long as I come home with all my extremities intact and functional, I’ll be fine.

At least it’s something

Maximum Z conflict, Lucy Steele, Marx Brothers, outlines, plot, screenwriting, Star Wars, Turner Classic Movies

The past few days have not been kind.

I thought I made some good progress with some slight revamping of the major plot points, at least in terms of my page 45 and midpoint.  The problem was getting from what I had already developed to this new set-up.

I couldn’t figure out what to write.  And when a writer doesn’t know what to write, it’s very frustrating.

It probably didn’t help that I read those two Black List scripts.  The writing in those was really impressive.  Mine?  Not so much right now.

But I also reminded myself that those other scripts weren’t first drafts.  I bet they had the same kind of problems putting them together that I am now.  And that actually help me feel better.  I know this will all come together in the end.  It’s the gettin’ there that kills you.

Today, I was determined to make some kind of progress and move forward.

One of the things I always use as a placeholder during the outline process is a note to myself in a scene to WORK ON THIS or EXPAND! or DEVELOP.

Which is exactly what I did.  I had a general idea of what I wanted to happen in one sequence, tried to play out the scenario in my mind and put it on the page.

And it worked.  Which is nice.

Even better, I changed something in the scene right after that one that presents more of a challenge to my main character.  Before, she was able to figure something out too easily, so I made it really hard for her.

Since conflict is vital to a good story, one of the best questions a writer needs to ask him or herself: what’s the worst thing that can happen to your character to make achieving their goal that much harder?  If Luke and Co just stroll into the Death Star, get Leia and leave, that wouldn’t be much of a story, would it?

Before, this sequence came across as too easy for my heroine.  Now, she really has to pull herself out of a really deep hole.

And now the fun really begins.  I need to figure out how to have the three separate subplots tie together, and about 8-10 pages to do it in.

And I can do it, too.  Not quickly, but I can.  And will.

No Movie of the Moment right now, but V discovered the magic that is the Marx Brothers courtesy of Turner Classic Movies on New Year’s Eve.  If you don’t laugh during the mirror sequence from DUCK SOUP, then something is wrong with you.

Our campouts were never like this

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, Boy Scouts vs Zombies, characters, comedy, horror, movies, screenwriting, story, zombies

Finally got to read BOY SCOUTS VS ZOMBIES, a horror comedy that ranked on the Black List.

The concept: A troop of Boy Scouts on their weekend camping trip must protect an island town after a zombie outbreak and save the local girl scout troop.

Personally, I’m getting a little tired of the whole zombie thing (although ZOMBIELAND was fun), this sounded interesting.  Seeing as how I was a Boy Scout (big surprise, right?), I wanted to see what the writers, Carrie Evans and Emi Mochizuko, would do with it.

First and foremost: A really fast read.  I zipped through this thing in about 90 minutes.  The whole thing really moves along.

I was also surprised how just about all the characters veer into stereotypes. The somewhat bland main character who’s too shy to tell the girl he likes her, the too-cool friend, the fat slob other friend, the mama’s boy, the overenthusiastic scoutleader, and so on.

It was a little difficult keeping track of all the characters, especially since the first half really focuses on the boys, then really adding the girls into the mix around halfway.  It was also pretty easy to tell which characters were going to be the token redshirts.

Once it settled into ‘will they survive or won’t they?’ mode, I was trying to figure out which characters would be the surprise death.  Surprisingly, that didn’t happen.

And the subplot about the top-secret lab where the whole thing starts seems to disappear after they decide to send out the commandos to neutralize the situation.  Some kind of follow-up would have been nice.

I’d also like to add that technically, the zombies here are the “infected with a virus that simulates zombie-like characteristics” type rather than the truly living dead.  This seems to be the go-to reasoning behind a lot of recent zombie stories.  I guess that’s easier than figuring out how to really raise the dead.  George Romero used radiation, so why not something similar?  But I digress.

Some of the jokes fell a little flat, but there were a handful that made me laugh out loud.  I especially liked the line after one girl turns zombie and tries to eat her friends, one says “Jenny! No! You’re a vegan!”  I also liked how even as everything around them is going to hell, the scouts try to take care of things via the Scout Handbook.  Again, I’m biased.  I don’t know if the guys in my troop would have been able to keep their heads like this.

I wasn’t crazy about when the wide margins would say something about the characters that should really come across in their actions and dialogue (“Matt’s dad has great expectations for his son, and they don’t involve fat slackers and comic books.”)  I always thought this sort of thing was frowned upon, but these two writers were in Disney’s Writing Program, so maybe there are exceptions.

I also wasn’t sure about the idea that a zombie can do the same things they did when they were alive, like a rock climber who turns into a zombie remembers how to climb a cliff.  It seems a little weak.

I really think with a little tweaking here and there, this thing could be fantastic.  It’s already been picked up for production, so it’ll be interesting to see what they do with it.

Would I pay to see it in the theatre?  Probably not.  But I’d definitely put it in the Netflix queue.

This is my last post for 2010, and since I haven’t seen that many movies in the theatres this year, I don’t have a list of my top 10 picks.  I’m just happy to be able to watch so many good flicks, and still plan on my own stuff being part of that someday.

Have a great 2011, and feel free to drop a note once in a while.

p.s.  Almost forgot.  If you’d like to take a look at any of these scripts, let me know and I’ll forward it to you.

My work is cut out for me

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, characters, espionage, Miyazaki, outlines, plot, radio, screenwriting, story, The 13th Man, thrillers, WWII

Due to heavy rainfall on Christmas Day, this poor little Jewish traffic reporter was swamped with work (no pun intended) on Saturday, so I got absolutely nothing done on the outline.

Sunday was sunny and much quieter, so I was able to do a little bit.

My plan was to keep moving forward today while doing afternoon drive (check it out! I’m on NPR! Well, the local affiliate anyway).  But I also felt bad about having downloaded those script from the Black List and not read any, so I checked out THE 13th MAN, a WW2-era thriller about an Army comic book nerd who helps crack a case regarding Nazi agents on American soil.  All music to my ears.

Wow.  This thing is just amazing.  Incredibly well-written.  A genuine page-turner.  Phenomenal story-telling.  My only two gripes: keeping track of some of the G-men characters, and a clever plot twist at the end.  While I did like the twist, and realize it does help hold the rest of the story together, would it all work if that whole subplot didn’t exist?  Maybe.  But I’m not the writer, so I can’t really say.

I’d give it a definite 9 out of 10.  Maybe 9.5.  I only hope the other 10 scripts I’ve got lined up are as entertaining.

One of the things screenwriters always hear is to not just write your own script, but read others.  It’s one thing to read the script for a film that’s been made, or an old favorite.  But reading an unproduced script that is actually circulating around Hollywood, or maybe won some competition(s) really helps open your eyes and shows you what works, while also showing how you could improve your own.

A common occurrence in THE 13TH MAN is that the hero not only repeatedly finds himself in a conflict, that conflict keeps building, and then builds some more, and then even more.  It keeps getting worse, and he has to keep changing how he tackles the problem.  He doesn’t always come out on top, because that would be boring.  But each conflict he survives helps lead into the next one, or maybe has the big payoff thirty, fifty or seventy-five pages later.

I’d love to know how long it took Enio Rigolin from start to finish.  It only got 9 mentions on The Black List, which is a shame.  Then again, I really like this sort of thing, so I’m biased.

Hopefully I’ll be able to support this argument after reading a few more of the Black List scripts, but if Hollywood made more smart, well-written films out of these scripts, the industry would be so much better off.  Treat your audience like intelligent adults!  You’d be surprised how rewarding it can be.  Once they get a taste of it, they’ll want more.  At least I would.

One last thing.  If I were in charge of casting for THE 13TH MAN, the first name crossed off my list for the lead would be Shia LaBeouf.  He may look like the ideal nerdy soldier, but I still have issues with him as the son of Indiana Jones.

Besides, they should have used Frank Darabont’s script for that one in the first place, but that’s another post.

Movie of the Moment: KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE. My first exposure to Miyazaki from way back, and now it’s part of our family library. Utterly charming and just plain fun to watch for grown-ups and kids; the American cast does a good job, but sometimes the original Japanese with subtitles is equally enjoyable.  Most important: V loves it, which is quite reassuring.

My suggestion: If the European element appeals to you, I highly suggest STEAMBOY, Otomo’s underrated follow-up to AKIRA.