Grab ’em early and don’t let go

And this is just the beginning…

I printed out a months-old version of the LUCY outline yesterday as part of the plan to launch a massive rewrite to incorporate some recent ideas. As I was looking it over, it dawned on me – the opening sequence just ain’t strong enough.

The way it’s written now, it would last about 3 pages, which really isn’t enough. The opening sets the tone and mood of the whole story. If I can’t hold your interest here, then you’re not going to want to work your way through another 100+ pages.

Think of the opening sequence in RAIDERS. It runs about 10 minutes, and does a phenomenal job of establishing the character of Indiana Jones.  I need to do the same thing.

This is where that ‘having fun while you write’ thing comes into play. And I get to do it with trains in the Old West.

Throw in a bottle of RC Cola and some Moon Pies and it’s an ideal writing session.

-Movie of the Moment – MEN IN BLACK III. Fun, clever and a definite improvement over the previous sequel. Setups and payoffs were obvious from the get-go. Josh Brolin did a great job as a young Tommy Lee Jones.  If this opens the door to a MIB IV, they should go the FANTASTIC VOYAGE/INNERSPACE route and do microscopic or nano-technology-based aliens. You heard it here first, folks!

This also confirmed for me once again that Smith needs to stop playing it safe and really try something new. Wasn’t he Tarantino’s first choice for the lead in DJANGO UNCHAINED? But he’s got a good thing going that brings in big bucks, so I don’t see that ever happening.

That’s almost that

Reaching my goal seems a little closer now

It took me longer than I wanted, but I finally finished the DREAMSHIP rewrite. 116 pages, which isn’t too bad. Now begins the editing phase, primarily of the second half.  I managed to trim about 7 pages for the first half, and hope to cut at least 4-5 this time around.

It bothers me that it won’t be ready for the Nicholl, but I’ve accepted it and moved on.

I’m also exploring the idea of sending it to a couple of professional script analysis firms. One of them might be ScriptQuack, especially since this rewrite was based on their suggestions for the previous draft.  I like the idea of getting some solid feedback, but I don’t know if I have it in me to go through another rewrite.  I like the idea of doing what I can with this and moving on, since LUCY is still waiting.

There’s something that’s been gnawing away at me inside for the past few weeks. I’ve noticed a unique writing style in a lot of recent scripts I’ve read; a lot of it really good.  My writing may not necessarily be as vivid as others, but it gets the point across. I try to use a little flair, but not enough so it distracts you from the story.  I’d rather let the story do its job than wow you with fancy-schmancy writing.

I’m also hoping that once the editing/polishing is done to fine-tune the logline and start sending out query letters. I did this before using a hard copy of the HCD, sending out about 200 email queries. It got the script optioned, which unfortunately didn’t lead to anything.  Maybe I’ll have better luck this time around.


Stupid wall

kind of feels like this

Writing this week has been even less than the bare minimum due to all those split shifts. But I’m back to my regular schedule this coming week, and hope to get a lot done.

I did manage to finish fine-tuning the first half of the LUCY outline, but now look at the next 16-18 scenes and think “wow, this is kind of dull.” It just doesn’t have the same level of thrills or action of what came before, and that’s really annoying.

While I’d like to fix it now, I think I’ll work on making progress on DREAMSHIP. That way I can move ahead on that, AND see if I can figure out how to make the next section of LUCY better.

Yet again, progress is slow, but steady.

Oops. Just realized. I’m doing the midday shift on Monday, so that will be designated idea time. See how it goes.

Movie of the Moment – GREEN LANTERN: EMERALD KNIGHTS, an animated anthology of sorts about the GL Corps. This was released earlier this summer in connection with the live-action feature. This was worlds better. Interesting stories, good (albeit short) character development, and an overall sense of fun and adventure. All of which the Ryan Reynolds fiasco was sorely lacking.

Warner Brothers and the rest of the studios should wake up and realize that the best people to write comic book movies are comic book writers. They know the material and how to make it work.

Now I’ll take off my fanboy hat and put on my writer hat and get back to work.


I did it.

After seemingly endless hours slaving away on the thrilling story of a gutsy female train engineer in post-Civil War America, today I got to type those two magic words: “The End.”

Rapture.  And…breathe.

Now I put it aside to focus on rewriting DREAMSHIP for more-than-likely entry into the Nicholl, then on May 2nd, dig out LUCY and start that rewrite.  I’ve already got some ideas on how to improve it.

I really do love doing this, and hope someday I get to do it all the time (with pay and everything!).  That would be definitely be awesome.

I’m feeling pretty good right now.

Not so fast

Well, crap.

I got to do exactly zero work today because I was busy doing dad stuff.  Not necessarily that I mind, but I was hoping to get more done on the outline.

I’m going to have to bring my creative hat with me to work tomorrow.

Movie of the Moment: THE SPY NEXT DOOR. Oh, Jackie Chan. The Drunken Master has been reduced to mega-crappy family comedy. But V liked it, and again, that’s the important part.

Also got to finish watching SALT. I liked the first half better.  How exactly would this have been different with planned original lead Tom Cruise?  really glad I did this on Netflix.