rewrite

Stupid wall

Maximum Z Green Lantern, Lucy Steele, rewrite, screenwriting, writer's block
kind of feels like this

Writing this week has been even less than the bare minimum due to all those split shifts. But I’m back to my regular schedule this coming week, and hope to get a lot done.

I did manage to finish fine-tuning the first half of the LUCY outline, but now look at the next 16-18 scenes and think “wow, this is kind of dull.” It just doesn’t have the same level of thrills or action of what came before, and that’s really annoying.

While I’d like to fix it now, I think I’ll work on making progress on DREAMSHIP. That way I can move ahead on that, AND see if I can figure out how to make the next section of LUCY better.

Yet again, progress is slow, but steady.

Oops. Just realized. I’m doing the midday shift on Monday, so that will be designated idea time. See how it goes.

Movie of the Moment – GREEN LANTERN: EMERALD KNIGHTS, an animated anthology of sorts about the GL Corps. This was released earlier this summer in connection with the live-action feature. This was worlds better. Interesting stories, good (albeit short) character development, and an overall sense of fun and adventure. All of which the Ryan Reynolds fiasco was sorely lacking.

Warner Brothers and the rest of the studios should wake up and realize that the best people to write comic book movies are comic book writers. They know the material and how to make it work.

Now I’ll take off my fanboy hat and put on my writer hat and get back to work.

Sallying forth

Maximum Z documentary, outlines, rewrite, screenwriting, story
This way, boys!

This has been a very busy week, but unfortunately not in terms of writing. The school year is in full swing, which means helping V with all kinds of stuff, including homework (which includes reading), assorted sports (hockey & soccer), and next week marks the addition of Hebrew school.  Add to that I’m working a split shift all this week and you have one pooped writer.

Not to say I haven’t tried.  I’ve been able to get some work done, but not on what I was planning.  Since a lot of the aforementioned activities are outside, using the computer isn’t an option. Which means pen, paper and the LUCY outline.  Happy to say I’ve been able to trim the first half down so it moves much more smoothly.

However. Two things now concern me:

1. whether or not I need to do the occasional cutaway to keep the reader/audience updated regarding what the villain is up to. Still not sure if this is necessary.

2.  whether or not the third quarter of Act Two is too boring.  Maybe boring is too strong, but it feels like not enough is happening to up the stakes.  A little more analysis and evaluation are in order.

Hoping to make progress on all fronts in the next couple of days.

-Movie of the Moment – EXPORTING RAYMOND (2010), a documentary about Phil Rosenthal, who created EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, going to Russia to help develop  a version of the show.

Honestly, I thought it would be funnier, but that was based on the trailer.

There were a lot of situations best described as ‘uncomfortable’ or ‘awkward’, mostly Phil dealing with culture clash from assorted behind-the-scenes staffers. The out-there costume designer thinks the clothes should be high-end to show how fashionable the family is. The writers don’t get why the main character (re-named ‘Kostya’) is such a pushover. Since they couldn’t get their first choice for the lead, they go with the guy who played the Larry Hagman role on the Russian IDREAM OF JEANNIE, who turns out to be a terrible comedy actor.

It’s interesting if you want to see how a TV show is put together, but if you’re expecting a big laughfest, prepare to be disappointed.

Hack! Slash!

Maximum Z editing, rewrite, screenwriting
Whattya think of my script so far?

No chance to work on pages, but I did get my eyes opened by doing some more editing on LUCY.

It’s amazing how easy it is to cut something out when you really need to.  And boy, did I need to.  Suffice to say, the entire first half is at least ten scenes lighter, and there’s a few more that could probably go.

I hadn’t realized how much I had padded this thing. The hard part now is determining which scenes feel more like filler, and focus on the ones contributing to moving the story forward.  Sometimes it ain’t easy figuring out which is which.

 

Creating the before

Maximum Z rewrite, screenwriting
Somewhere within lies a shining example of an expository scene

Another day, another 3 pages. Unfortunately, had to stop on page 13 because I hit a scene that is pure exposition.  It involves backstory; lots of it.  Trying to figure out how to say a lot without talking heads or running long.

While it would be nice to come up with something different, I may go with the voiceover/storytelling method. At least it would be visual.

-Movie of the Moment – finished THE STUNT MAN. For the most part, disappointing. Didn’t help that the lead actor (Steve Railsback) was too hard to watch.

Only 105 pages to go, or thereabouts…

Maximum Z Movie of the Moment, rewrite, screenwriting
My choice for the perfect script

I feel majorly pumped not only because I got to page 10 today, but there is some really strong writing in there.  This is worlds apart from the previous version.

I’m trying to not second-guess myself whether or not everything’s working so far (which I think it is anyway), and am just trying to have fun during the writing process while (hopefully) also making it a fun and exciting read.

I thought about offering the pages to anybody interested in checking them out, but then decided to wait until the whole thing is ready.  It’s better that way.  Besides, it’s not like I don’t report on my progress; just not many specific details.

-Movie of the Moment – THE STUNT MAN (1980). I’m only about 45 minutes into it. Can’t for the life of me remember the name of the lead, but he’s a wanted man on the run (no details as to why just yet) and may have accidentally killed a man.  He manages to find his way onto a WWI film set (in San Diego?!), and by inadvertently saving the film-with-the-film’s leading lady, is offered a stuntman job by the director, played by Peter O’Toole.

I like what I’ve seen so far, but the lead isn’t that great an actor, and sometimes it seems as if the story can’t make up its mind. Does it want to be a thriller, a comedy, or a drama? A little clarity would be nice.

I remember watching Siskel and Ebert review this waaay back when on SNEAK PREVIEWS on PBS (Channel 12, WHYY in Philadelphia).  Funny how this is the first time I got around to actually watching it.