I despise this with the fiery intensity of a thousand suns

No doubt many within the assorted writing communities have received at least one email of this nature:

“Hi there!

I found your book/project (TITLE) and was immediately captivated by what an amazing work it is on the subject of (WHATEVER).

1-2 PARAGRAPHS OF FLOWERY ASS-KISSING PROSE AND ASSORTED GENERALIZED COMMENTS BASED ON YOUR WORK AND ANY RELATED DESCRIPTIONS AND/OR WRITE-UPS FOUND ONLINE

I think the potential for the impact this material could have is huge! Just imagine readers having in-depth discussions about the complexities revolving around (SUBJECT).

I would love to discuss this more/have you on my podcast/social media. When would be a convenient time for you?”

You may at first think this is an honest and sincere email from somebody genuinely interested in your work.

To a certain extent, it is, but not from a creative perspective.

Because you know what’s coming next – and they’re never upfront about it. They shower you with praise and lofty expectations to reel you in, before the inevitable:

“I wanted to also let you know what the tier levels are for the varying packages we offer to help to promote your material.”

And there it is.

To paraphrase – “We want you to pay for the privilege of having us promote your work.”

Sometimes I respond to the initial email with lots of probing questions, seeking out at least an iota of truth. Getting even that is challenging.

No matter what, I wrap it up by writing “Thanks, but no thanks”, sending it and then deleting all of it.

Sometimes they come back with a “I’m sorry to hear that. We’re really interested in working with you. What can we do to help make this happen?”

I’m too polite to send my immediate thought of “fuck off and die, you bloodsucking leeches”; others may not be as reserved. I remain silent, delete that one, and move on with my life.

I get it. Some writers are so desperate that they’ll shell out the bucks to do this. That’s their choice. I prefer not to. Although I am curious how effective these campaigns are, or if at all. I’m inclined to think most writers regret having made the investment.

Would love to hear from anybody who’s had a positive experience with this sort of thing.

My inbox has seen an increase in these emails over the past few weeks.

Most of them stop sending, but the occasional note pops up after a few months to “just check in” and ask if I’d still be interested. That one also gets deleted right away.

There are A LOT of people out there more than ready to separate you from your money as part of their effort to “help you and your career”.

Do your research. Trust your instincts. If it feels fishy or seems too good to be true, it probably is. If somebody is genuinely interested in helping you, they’re not going to charge you for it or ask you to cover any “fees”.

Caveat emptor indeed, chums.

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