loglines

That’s almost that

Maximum Z analysis, Dreamship, Hollywood Creative Directory, loglines, Lucy Steele, Nicholl Fellowship, query letter, reading, rewrite, screenwriting, ScriptQuack
Reaching my goal seems a little closer now

It took me longer than I wanted, but I finally finished the DREAMSHIP rewrite. 116 pages, which isn’t too bad. Now begins the editing phase, primarily of the second half.  I managed to trim about 7 pages for the first half, and hope to cut at least 4-5 this time around.

It bothers me that it won’t be ready for the Nicholl, but I’ve accepted it and moved on.

I’m also exploring the idea of sending it to a couple of professional script analysis firms. One of them might be ScriptQuack, especially since this rewrite was based on their suggestions for the previous draft.  I like the idea of getting some solid feedback, but I don’t know if I have it in me to go through another rewrite.  I like the idea of doing what I can with this and moving on, since LUCY is still waiting.

There’s something that’s been gnawing away at me inside for the past few weeks. I’ve noticed a unique writing style in a lot of recent scripts I’ve read; a lot of it really good.  My writing may not necessarily be as vivid as others, but it gets the point across. I try to use a little flair, but not enough so it distracts you from the story.  I’d rather let the story do its job than wow you with fancy-schmancy writing.

I’m also hoping that once the editing/polishing is done to fine-tune the logline and start sending out query letters. I did this before using a hard copy of the HCD, sending out about 200 email queries. It got the script optioned, which unfortunately didn’t lead to anything.  Maybe I’ll have better luck this time around.

 

1-2 sentences that say it all

Maximum Z Christopher Lockhart, loglines, screenwriting, scriptshadow, Selling Your Screenplay
Does your logline get the job done in 12 seconds or less?

“What’s your script about?”

You probably get that a lot. But how do you respond?

The logline to the rescue!

If you’re not familiar with that term, a logline is 1-2 sentences telling what your story’s about.  Sometimes called the ‘TV Guide description,’ it sums up your entire script in one easy description.

“A teenager from 1985 goes back to 1955 and must ensure his parents meet or else he’ll cease to exist.”

“A farmboy must rescue a kidnapped princess to help defeat the evil Galactic Empire.”

“A child psychologist helps a boy deal with his special problem – he sees dead people.”

You’d think putting it together would be easy. But of course it isn’t.

You want to convey what your story’s about, but you don’t want to go into too much detail.  And you don’t want to focus on one particular part of the story. And you don’t want to be too generic (f’r example: “…and learns a lesson about life.”)

This is your one chance to get somebody interested in wanting to read your script, so the logline has to be perfect.

Ashley Scott Meyers wrote a great column about it here.  Definitely worth checking out.  He also links to a just-as-good column by Christopher Lockhart.

A few weeks ago I wrote about TwitPitch from ScriptShadow, where you submitted a logline and the 100 most interesting were selected to submit pages, then scripts.  I wasn’t one of them, which motivated me to go back and rewrite my submission for my own purposes.  I like how it turned out.

There’ve already been some eliminations based on the first 10 pages of the script, which was kind of surprising since some of the loglines seemed to hold so much potential.

I suppose that’s the inevitable follow-up to having a good logline. You better have an even better script to back it up.

Nobody self-laments like a writer

Maximum Z confidence, creativity, loglines, motivation, screenwriting, scriptshadow, writing
Slap a metaphoric pair of these on when necessary. Or literal if you can

For those in the screenwriting know, this past Saturday was Scriptshadow‘s experimental TwitPitch.  Basically, you tweeted your logline, and if it was deemed good enough, it made it through the first round.

It pains to me report mine was not among the select few.  And I gotta admit: I was devastated. How could it not have worked?  Not even a single mention of it in the comments section?  This is a sign. I’ve got no talent. I’m wasting my time. Done before I even started. Might as well stop trying.

But rather than constantly berating myself and doubting my own ability, I recalled the words of a guy I met way back around the turn of the century. I had three scripts under my belt and wanted to get some professional feedback.  His very first words to me about my work:  You’re a very talented writer.  Now you need to get better.

I’ve held onto that advice ever since.  Every writer loves positive feedback.  But in this business, there are a lot more negatives than positives, which can really beat you down.  It’s extremely easy to get discouraged when all you’re hearing back is ‘no’ and things don’t go your way. Especially when you get your hopes up.

But this is a hard business.  Some people struggle for years and years before achieving any kind of success.

The key, as my dad always says, is perseverance.  Keep going.  There will be lots of bad days, but don’t let that stop you from chasing the dream.

A lot of writers say they can’t imagine doing anything else.  Count me among them.  Like everybody else, I have good days and bad days. And it’s still hard to get past the bad days, but I manage.

And learn from my mistakes.

I try to see what I could do next time to change the outcome more in my favor.  Just as an example, I’ve already rewritten my logline so it’s (hopefully) better than the previous version.

I write because I love writing. If I can make a living out of it, all the better. The important thing is I still enjoy the process.  And no amount of ‘no’ is going to change that.

Good and not-so-good

Maximum Z creativity, loglines, mystery, outlines, screenwriting, scriptshadow, writing gigs
much nicer to be thinking out here

Working with this director is becoming an exercise in keeping my sanity in check. We had a brief conversation the other night about what exactly he wants, or at least is looking for, in this short project.

I came up with something I thought was pretty unique and, according to a friend who actually writes mysteries, contained some good setups with a “sucker punch twist” at the end. I’ll take that as high praise.

But it didn’t jibe with what he wanted.  Because he’s been reading some mysteries on his own, including a few Sherlock Holmes.  He says there’s a pattern to be followed. Victim, clues, solution.  And he also has a list called something like “50 rules of mysteries”.  Oh dear lord.

I offered that if you saw 4 mysteries, and 3 of them followed the same pattern and the 4th was different, wouldn’t you be more likely to remember the different one?  Didn’t work.

While he appreciated my take on the story, he wanted the more traditional approach, but also to punch it up even more. “Go bigger” seemed to be his mantra.  For some reason, he again referenced INCEPTION. I really hope he’s seen more movies than just that.

He wants the outline by Tuesday, which I’m fine with. Most of the story is in place. I just need to move a few details around.  But he wants a ready-to-go draft by January 1st so he can immediately start on pre-production and casting.  Based on how his previous project progressed, I think he’s being a little too ambitious.

The only positive spin I can put on this is that it’s really testing my abilities.  On several levels.  I don’t mind. It’s good exercise, writing-wise.

Now, while I probably should have been spent time on his outline, I opted to do some more work on DREAMSHIP.  I had two scenes that seemed way too similar, and my protagonist was being more reactive than active.

Implementing the changes wasn’t as hard as I expected, and I think both turned out better than before.  Honestly, this thing is really coming together.

-Just a brief note on something going on over at ScriptShadow. The First Ten Pages competition is taking place this week. Readers were invited to send in their log line and first ten pages, and the rest of the readers would vote on which ones looked the most interesting.

I meant to take part, but never got around to it.  I don’t know what kind of chance I would have had. After reading some of the 50 finalists, I can’t help but wonder if some of these people have a grasp of what is expected of them.  Some of the loglines were just too confusing, or didn’t make the story sound interesting.

I always thought the logline summed up the protagonist’s objective, who/what stands in their way and what could happen if they don’t achieve that objective, all in a way to make the reader/viewer want to know more. How do you screw that up?

Apparently quite easily.

Totally unexpected but much appreciated

Maximum Z anime, blog, I Blame Ninjas, loglines, Netflix, outlines, screenwriting, scriptshadow

After weeks of agonizing self-doubt and re-examining of whether or not the outline works, I may have stumbled onto the solution I’ve been looking for.

And I owe it all to a guy I’ve never met.

During some of my downtime earlier today, I was checking out some of the screenwriting blogs I like. Some of those led to links, which led to some I’ve checked out once in a while, to a few I’ve never seen.

This guy falls into the middle category.

Patrick Sweeney lives in the Sacramento area and runs the blog I Blame Ninjas.  He wrote a script called GHOST TRAIN, which is also a western-adventure, but apparently with a more supernatural bent.  I asked him if I could take a look and he sent it without hesitation.  I plan on reading it tomorrow.

I also asked him what his logline was.  He sent it.  It is totally kick-ass, and put mine to shame; anything that includes the phrase ‘a train carrying phantom gunslingers to Hell’ has to be good.  But instead of wallowing in self-pity, I realized mine could be almost as good.  So I tinkered.  Now I’m definitely closer to a better one than I was a few days ago.

It also got me thinking that my existing outline is NOT written in stone, and that I CAN make changes and take liberties and all that.

So I did.

Right now I’ve got a completely different beginning, which I like a lot.  I still need to work on the rest of it.

And by reading a script review on Scriptshadow, I also discovered what had really been holding me back before in terms of my antagonist: his motivation.  Why does he do what he does?  For now, it’s one of the two standards: money or revenge.  I’m not sure yet, but both have definite possibilities.  He can’t just be bad because it suits the script.

I also thought of introducing yet another subplot about a treasure map (to tie in with that whole ‘money’ motivation), but I don’t need any more headaches over this thing, so I’ll stick with what I’ve got.

No Movie of the Moment today, but I’ve been enjoying the risque anime MOUSE about a cat burglar and his three buxom assistants.  More or less PG-13 material, but typical Japanese sex humor and not for kids.  Unless you’re a teenaged boy who gets a big kick out of skits on Benny Hill.

Amazingly, I’m not the one who put this on our Netflix queue.  That honor goes to the lovely K.  But I’m really grateful she did.

Really grateful.