feedback

Darn my stubbornness

Maximum Z antagonist, creativity, feedback, Mary and Max, rewrite, screenwriting, The Matrix, writing
My eyes have been opened. No pill necessary.

I’m getting over a nasty bout of some kind of respiratory virus, which at one point included a fever of 104.1, thereby completely nullifying my ability to do just about anything. I was hoping to utilize the time being laid up to work on the rewrite, but it’s kind of difficult when your head feels hotter than the surface of the sun.

Over the weekend, I got some helpful feedback from a trusted colleague. This was a repeat evaluation for him, and he again raised some points about the antagonist and the way she acted. At first, I basically glossed over his comments, most likely because I didn’t necessarily agree with them.

But his words gnawed at me. If he had issues with that, who’s to say a potential future interested industry-connected person wouldn’t say the exact same thing?  It’s up to me to make this thing as tight, connected and bulletproof as possible, so any criticism needs to be taken into consideration.

Since my health wasn’t exactly around 100 percent, and it was easier to read then to actually write, I went through the sequence he was talking about. I read through it not as the person who wrote it, but as a reader/audience member going in blind.

And of course, he was right.  Why would the antagonist do these things? It made no sense.  That and a two-scene sequence that the more I thought about, didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose. So out that went as well.

Suffice to say, a mini-rewrite is in progress.  It’ll take a little bit of effort to work my way through this, but as usually happens, the new end result will (in theory) be stronger, more effective and just improve things overall.  At first I was annoyed that I had to go through this, but upon reflection, anything that has to be done to improve the script is necessary and should always been seen as a positive rather than a negative.

Hopefully, it won’t take too long.

-Movie of the Moment – MARY AND MAX (2009). Don’t let the animation fool you – this ain’t no kids film. This claymation feature from Australia deals with adult subjects such as depression and mental illness.  The title refers to 8-year-old Mary, growing up lonely and ignored in the suburbs of Melbourne, who becomes pen pals with 44-year-old Max, living alone and afraid in New York City.  Their relationship spans 20 years as we get to see the impact each has on the other’s life during that time.

This description really can’t do the story justice; it’s one of those films you have to see for yourself. Highly recommended for adults, NOT recommended for kids.  This has also got to be one of the most heart-wrenchingly sad movies you may ever see (if you don’t cry at the end, then you just have no soul), but at times can also be extremely hilarious.  It leans more towards black humor, so if that’s not your thing, you might not enjoy it as much.

Ouch.

Maximum Z criticism, feedback, pie, screenwriting, writing
Yeah, this would probably help ease the pain

Hey look! It’s me!

Ooh.

Gosh.

I didn’t fare very well in that, did I?  Not going to argue. But in the end – it’s okay.

Most of his comments are probably spot-on, but comedy’s never really been my strong suit.  I liked the idea, and wanted to give it a go. I still like it, enough to even list it on my Scripts page.

This was the 2nd script I ever wrote. As you probably guessed, it’s not exactly fresh, but I liked it enough to submit it. I’ve written 5 more since then, and like to think I’ve improved.

It also got me a manager (we have since parted ways), and I even got an email a few months ago from a guy saying he really liked it. Proving once again that comedy really is subjective.

It would be way too easy to bitch and moan, but there’s no point. It’s all part of the process, and pushes me even harder to improve and succeed.

Pie, anyone?

Mistake. Not learning. Doomed. (repeat)

Maximum Z criticism, Dreamworks, feedback, loglines, message boards, Pixar, screenwriting, Spider-Man, writing
You’d think I’d get it by now

Sometimes I do things that are counterproductive. Almost even stupid in their execution.  Practically on a level of “what the hell was I thinking?” And apparently I’ve done it again.

I went to the internet seeking somebody’s opinion on my work. Yeah, I know.

I posted my logline on a few message boards, curious to know if it works. Some comments have been positive, while others…  Let’s not call them negative, but there does seem to be a strong critical-without-guidance vibe. Do some of them realize they’re coming across as snobbish?

It’s also important to remember that these are public forums, which means the public is responding, which means there are varying degrees of experience out there.  Probably some with even less than me, of which I suspect there are more than a few. Curious to know if any of them are actual working screenwriters.

Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate every single comment (albeit to a certain degree), but don’t like feeling like I have to keep changing my stuff to make them happy.  I also have to remind myself it’s my script, and it ultimately comes down to what I think works best.

And at this point, it’s probably time to stop using the message boards as much and start seeking professional feedback. Guidance from somebody with actual industry experience seems like it would be a little more reliable.

*side note – it’s fascinating to see how people interpret what they read. Some of the revamped loglines focus on key words and take a sharp turn from there.

-Movie of the Moment: It’s been a while, but I’ve seen three new releases in the past week.

BRAVE – beautiful to look at, but haven’t we heard this story before? I was really expecting something a little more different from the folks across the Bay in Emeryville, although the bear subplot was unexpected.

MADAGASCAR 3 – surprisingly funnier than I thought it would be.  Especially nice how they wove subplot threads throughout and wrapped them all up in the end.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN –  okay, but not as fun as THE AVENGERS, but I did like the Spidey POV shots while he’s swinging around New York. Also impressed with how they made the Lizard an actual formidable bad guy, but really felt they could have done more with it. No great desire to see it again or own it. Hope they use Raimi’s Spidey #2 as a guide in terms of fun and quality for the sequel, but please: stop taking off the mask, and NO VENOM.

Regarding THE DARK KNIGHT RISES: the trailers are doing a phenomenal job in increasing my desire to see this. I may even be so bold as to consider seeing it in IMAX.

You can’t rush this kind of thing

Maximum Z confidence, creativity, editing, feedback, Movie of the Moment, productivity, proofreading, rewrite, screenwriting, writing
Almost what being really productive feels like

We’ve all been there.  After countless hours of slaving away on a project, you’re closing in on finally being done. Hallelujah, the end is in sight! The urge to steamroll your way through whatever’s left and be done once and for all overwhelms you. That is an option, but it’s also one of the worst things you could do.

My work on the current polish/rewrite is about 20 pages from being done. While the ambitious part of me is ready to start researching professional script analysts, and maybe some agents and managers, the more rational part is saying “Hold on there, speedy.”  When I finish this draft, I’m going to go through it at least 2-3 more times with the proverbial fine-tooth comb, as well as get additional feedback from my trusted colleagues.  A fresh pair of eyes on something you’ve practically memorized by now can be extremely helpful.

Even during this current stretch, I’ve found a few story points that needed a little touching up and some typos here and there.  Nothing major, but I want to make sure everything is how it’s supposed to be. Even though all of this is pushing back the inevitable sending out, it’s more than worth it.

You’d think it would be common sense for somebody to make sure their work was as perfect as they can make it before submitting it to a professional. But this happens all the time.  There are countless tales of somebody reading a script and easily identifying problems with it, both in terms of appearance and execution.

When you’re presenting something this important, wouldn’t you want it to be the absolute best it can be? Of course you do. Then check it as many times as possible to make it that much harder for somebody to say ‘no’.

-Movie of the Moment: Jam-packed edition!  With V out of town, my movie-viewing has been plentiful.

-PROMETHEUS. As a friend put it, “A big hot mess.” Such a letdown, especially after all the hype. I didn’t like it. Pretty to look at, but a muddled plot that raised too many questions (as in “Would a person with any common sense really do that?”). Especially disappointing because of bad writing. Expected more from co-writer Damon Lindelof.

-MOONRISE KINGDOM. Loved it. I don’t have a problem with Wes Anderson’s style, but it did seem a little too similar to his earlier works. Still, a great story with perfectly-cast actors in each role. Nice to see Bruce Willis once again exercise his acting chops. The two leads, 12-year-olds who’ve never acted before, were really impressive.

-THE WOMAN IN BLACK. Wonderfully creepy gothic horror with a surprisingly spot-on lead performance by Daniel Radcliffe. What I liked most was that it seemed as if half of the scenes were dialogue-free, relying on mood and sound to raise goosebumps. Best when watched in the dark.

-TUCKER & DALE VS EVIL. I’m not a fan of slasher flicks, but this was a clever spin on the “college kids in the backwoods” story. Funnier than I expected.  Maybe one more run at the script wouldn’t have been a bad idea, so call it almost-great.

Hacking my way through the rewrite jungle

Maximum Z confidence, creativity, Dreamship, editing, feedback, ideas, rewrite, screenwriting, story, writer's block, writing
Yeah, it can feel like that sometimes…

Man, this rewrite is just zooming along, especially with the much-appreciated, very helpful feedback I’ve received. Spending so much time plotting things out before churning out pages really paid off. I tried to make sure any possible questions that arose could be easily answered through the course of the story.  One or two small issues may still need a little work, but looks like they can be handled without too much heavy lifting.

Nevertheless, confidence levels still running high.

Most of the edits took no time, but the biggest challenge was changing how the antagonist’s story ends. This has been in place since day one, but I’ve received more than a few comments saying it seemed too intense compared to the rest of the story.  So change was necessary.

I must have spent around two hours trying out at least a dozen scenarios until I finally came up with something I like. It may need a little fine-tuning, but the execution is pretty solid and I think it fits in nicely with the rest of it.

You know how a writer’s mantra is/should be “write every day”? I’ve tried to adhere to that as much as I can, and it really feels like it’s paying off in terms of being able to think my way out of potential writer’s block situations. Getting stuck trying to figure something out isn’t as much of a hassle as it used to be.

Cliched as it sounds, your creativity really is like a kind of muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets. And you don’t even have to break a sweat.