feedback

You can trust me

Maximum Z feedback, generosity, ideas, networking, Nicholl Fellowship, rewrite, screenwriting, script, writing
Because "Honest Paul" just doesn't have the same ring to it
Because “Honest Paul” isn’t as catchy

Thanks to the wonder of living in the digital age, I’ve connected with an incredible number of even more incredible writers. Not being the pushy sort, I always wait until we have a bit of a rapport to ask if they’d be willing to read my script and maybe give a little feedback. And a lot of the time, they ask for the same thing, of which I’m more than happy to oblige.

But there are those who respond along the lines of “I’m not comfortable with letting somebody I don’t know that well see my work.”

A perfectly legitimate response, but also raises a few questions:

-Do you think I’m going to steal your work? No disrespect, but I don’t want it. At all. Just like you, I’ve put in an immense amount of time and effort so I can take a certain pride in claiming “Yes, I wrote this.” Why would I want to risk everything for your script? There may be some unsavory characters out there, but I’m not one of them. I’ve made no effort to hide who I am from you or anybody else and stand by my reputation.

-Is it because I can’t advance your career? Just because I’m not in the industry now doesn’t mean I won’t be in the future. I try to help my friends out when I can. Act like a jerk to me now and that’s how I’ll remember you.

-Am I not professional enough for you? I may be unsold and unproduced, but I’ve got a manager, have had some moderate success in contests and what I would call a pretty solid grasp of what good writing is. Maybe my notes could even make your script better, and most importantly, they’re free.

-Do you think your script is already perfect, doesn’t need any more work and any criticism on my part is just me being jealous of your superior writing skills and trying to sabotage it? Good luck and I wish you all the best.

We all need whatever help we can get, and most people are pretty accommodating.

Don’t be afraid to make connections and get your work out there. It’s been my experience that everybody’s already wrapped up enough in their own work to make becoming more than involved with yours not much of a possibility.

*Rewrite update: about 1-2 details away from having the first act done. Really like how it’s shaping up, but still a long way to go.

**A big congratulations to the Nicholl finalists. Won’t deny being jealous. Now back to work for the rest of us already focusing on next year.

Dispatches from the road

Maximum Z feedback, goals, loglines, manager, movies, representation, rewrite, screenwriting, script, Tracking Board, travel, writing , , , ,
Who doesn't love finding one in their actual mailbox?
Nothing like finding one in your mailbox

Visiting my folks this week, so not much time for writing. That being said, there are a few items worth mentioning…

-The Tracking Board Launchpad top 10 finalists were named earlier this week, and I was not one of them. It was a little disappointing to not see my name on the new list, but I can still claim to be one of the semifinalists, which is at least something.

The logline to DREAMSHIP is now officially posted as part of the contest update, so now it’s a wait-and-see situation regarding being contacted by potential reps. Which leads me to…

-Having an actual face-to-face meeting with my manager today, so I’ve been working on questions to ask and topics to discuss. Looking forward to hearing feedback on the latest (and hopefully final) rewrite.

This is a great chance for both of us to further explore what we’re both hoping to achieve, and what we can do to get there. Should be interesting.

-Your thoughts on summer movies so far? Hoping to see STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS this week, and looking forward to MAN OF STEEL next week. IRON MAN 3 was fun. No interest whatsoever in HANGOVER 3 or AFTER EARTH.

As much as I enjoy a lot of these fanboy films, it would be nice to see more original stuff (the forthcoming PACIFIC RIM, for example). Sequels, remakes and reboots can only carry you so far.

-The fine folks at United were generous enough to let us use the DirectTV for free on the flight here, so got to see WRECK-IT RALPH again. Still fun. Wish they’d do that all the time.

Just a few more things to squeeze in

Maximum Z feedback, loglines, manager, rewrite, running, screenwriting, script, synopsis, writing
Plenty of room to work with!
Plenty of room to work with!

-The rewrite continues. I’ve checked a few items off the list, but there are still some more that need my attention. I think it goes without saying that hopefully my manager will become even more confident in the script.

I’d love to speed through it all and just be done with it, but that’s probably the worst thing I could do. This is not something to rush, and I have to keep reminding myself of that. It’ll get done the right way.

-I’d also sent them my logline and 1-page synopsis for some further tinkering. The logline is apparently still a work in progress. They liked the 1-pager, but I’ve been asked to see what I can do to make it stronger, which includes incorporating more of the “mystery and whimsy so prevalent in the script.”

Going for the silver lining angle, I’m seeing this as an opportunity to really go all out and play up the sheer adventurousness of the whole thing.  Time to let out my inner pulp novelist.

-I received feedback on the script from a well-known screenwriting guru. I hold his opinion in very high regard.

But if you took out all of his flowery speech about the writing process, the cliches and assorted material you just know he’s used on many others many times before, you’d be left with just a few sentences of constructive advice.

But he liked it, which is nice.

-A few months ago, I had the good fortune to connect with Barri Evans.  She’s been very supportive, so the least I can do is plug her upcoming seminar in Emeryville (across the Bay, next to Berkeley, home of Pixar). She does them all over the country, but this one’s local. I won’t be able to attend, but if you can and want to make some good progress with your writing, it’s definitely something you should consider.  Sorry –  no discount for mentioning me or this blog, although that would be pretty cool.

-Just a few words about yesterday’s tragedy at the Boston Marathon. As someone who takes part in these kinds of races, and has seen my family waiting for me at the finish line, this hit me especially hard.  I can’t imagine the pain and suffering of the victims, and can only hope that something like it never happens again.

Fear of such a tragedy will probably always be somewhere on the minds of runners of future races, but the best we can do is stay strong and keep running.

Nevertheless, I still play well with others

Maximum Z blog, feedback, public forums, screenwriting, social media, Twitter, writing , ,
I was told there'd be ice cream afterward...
Hey gang! Who wants ice cream?

I was reminded this week why it’s important to build up your own network of trusted friends and colleagues.

Even though I’m pretty confident about knowing certain things, and am more than willing to admit when I don’t know something, I need and always appreciate good feedback.

I’ve been very fortunate to be able to connect with a good number of talented writers over the past few years. The more we communicate (pretty much via email & Twitter), the more we respect and value each others’ opinions. So I’m extremely appreciative when they’re open to reading my stuff if I ask, or offering to read it, as well as asking if I’d do the same for them.

Everybody who’s read my script has liked it, but has also given thoughtful suggestions on how it could be improved.

This system has worked out pretty well for me, and hopefully it’s been reciprocal for them.

Which is why I don’t think I’ll be very active on public forums anymore. Not that I was overly active to begin with, but it’s hard for me to value the opinion of somebody I don’t know and has never seen anything I’ve written compared to somebody who knows me and my writing style.

Case in point: I once posted questions about what should and shouldn’t go into my query letter.  I got about a dozen responses, each with different answers and opinions. Of those, maybe two, possibly three, actually answered the question with well-thought, insightful and unexpectedly supportive comments. A majority weren’t very helpful, and one was just too cryptically-worded that I had no idea what they were talking about.

Don’t get me wrong – there’s a lot of helpful information out there, and connections are made all the time.  But reading responses to various posts, sometimes it feels like some folks don’t exactly have a firm grasp of what they’re talking about, or give advice not related to the original question.  Pointing you in the wrong direction will not help you in the long run.

Most of my connections have come through the other person’s online presence. I read their blog, newsletter or website, it gives me a bigger window into what kind of writer and person they are. I introduce myself, maybe there’s some email correspondence, and before you know it, both of our networks have increased by one.

It’s harder to accomplish that based on a 1-2 sentence not-as-helpful-as-you-had-hoped answer to your question.

It takes time to build up your network, but in the end you’ll be really glad you did.

But I look so good in jodhpurs

Maximum Z Comedy Film Nerds, directing, editing, feedback, podcasts, rewrite, screenwriting, writing
And a beret, too
And a beret, too

I’ve been poring over the notes I’ve received, and included within were a few suggestions for improvements, including cutting back on the use of CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis.  In fact, it was recommended I cut them out altogether.

I always thought doing that really got the point across, especially for really active verbs. Add that to the list of things to consider/investigate.

It was also mentioned that I could cut about 4-5 pages if I eliminated my ‘directing the action’ in so many scenes.

Directing? Me?

I looked over some of the pages in question, and wouldn’t you know it? They were right.

This isn’t about camera angles or more technical aspects.  I put in too much detailed description of the action between lines of dialogue, or give too much of a suggestion how a line should be delivered.

Apparently I do it a lot, not even realizing I was doing it.

I’ve always made an effort to avoid an excessive use of adverbs and parentheticals, but this really is something new.  While it’s something I’ll definitely need to work on in the future, making the appropriate fixes this time around doesn’t seem to be too challenging.

At least for now.

Teaching myself to not do this seems a little daunting at first, but the person who pointed this out to me added that he’s been a working screenwriter for 30 years and is still learning.

So there may be hope for me yet.

Just wondering – has there ever been something about your writing that was pointed out to you that completely caught you by surprise?

-This post was written during a very quiet Christmas morning shift at work. Hope you made watching a movie part of your day. Happy holidays!  One of my gifts was the COMEDY FILM NERDS GUIDE TO MOVIES, which comes from the always-entertaining and incredibly hilarious podcast of the same name. Definitely worth subscribing to. Please note the very apt ‘explicit’ tag on iTunes.