story

Our campouts were never like this

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, Boy Scouts vs Zombies, characters, comedy, horror, movies, screenwriting, story, zombies

Finally got to read BOY SCOUTS VS ZOMBIES, a horror comedy that ranked on the Black List.

The concept: A troop of Boy Scouts on their weekend camping trip must protect an island town after a zombie outbreak and save the local girl scout troop.

Personally, I’m getting a little tired of the whole zombie thing (although ZOMBIELAND was fun), this sounded interesting.  Seeing as how I was a Boy Scout (big surprise, right?), I wanted to see what the writers, Carrie Evans and Emi Mochizuko, would do with it.

First and foremost: A really fast read.  I zipped through this thing in about 90 minutes.  The whole thing really moves along.

I was also surprised how just about all the characters veer into stereotypes. The somewhat bland main character who’s too shy to tell the girl he likes her, the too-cool friend, the fat slob other friend, the mama’s boy, the overenthusiastic scoutleader, and so on.

It was a little difficult keeping track of all the characters, especially since the first half really focuses on the boys, then really adding the girls into the mix around halfway.  It was also pretty easy to tell which characters were going to be the token redshirts.

Once it settled into ‘will they survive or won’t they?’ mode, I was trying to figure out which characters would be the surprise death.  Surprisingly, that didn’t happen.

And the subplot about the top-secret lab where the whole thing starts seems to disappear after they decide to send out the commandos to neutralize the situation.  Some kind of follow-up would have been nice.

I’d also like to add that technically, the zombies here are the “infected with a virus that simulates zombie-like characteristics” type rather than the truly living dead.  This seems to be the go-to reasoning behind a lot of recent zombie stories.  I guess that’s easier than figuring out how to really raise the dead.  George Romero used radiation, so why not something similar?  But I digress.

Some of the jokes fell a little flat, but there were a handful that made me laugh out loud.  I especially liked the line after one girl turns zombie and tries to eat her friends, one says “Jenny! No! You’re a vegan!”  I also liked how even as everything around them is going to hell, the scouts try to take care of things via the Scout Handbook.  Again, I’m biased.  I don’t know if the guys in my troop would have been able to keep their heads like this.

I wasn’t crazy about when the wide margins would say something about the characters that should really come across in their actions and dialogue (“Matt’s dad has great expectations for his son, and they don’t involve fat slackers and comic books.”)  I always thought this sort of thing was frowned upon, but these two writers were in Disney’s Writing Program, so maybe there are exceptions.

I also wasn’t sure about the idea that a zombie can do the same things they did when they were alive, like a rock climber who turns into a zombie remembers how to climb a cliff.  It seems a little weak.

I really think with a little tweaking here and there, this thing could be fantastic.  It’s already been picked up for production, so it’ll be interesting to see what they do with it.

Would I pay to see it in the theatre?  Probably not.  But I’d definitely put it in the Netflix queue.

This is my last post for 2010, and since I haven’t seen that many movies in the theatres this year, I don’t have a list of my top 10 picks.  I’m just happy to be able to watch so many good flicks, and still plan on my own stuff being part of that someday.

Have a great 2011, and feel free to drop a note once in a while.

p.s.  Almost forgot.  If you’d like to take a look at any of these scripts, let me know and I’ll forward it to you.

My work is cut out for me

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, characters, espionage, Miyazaki, outlines, plot, radio, screenwriting, story, The 13th Man, thrillers, WWII

Due to heavy rainfall on Christmas Day, this poor little Jewish traffic reporter was swamped with work (no pun intended) on Saturday, so I got absolutely nothing done on the outline.

Sunday was sunny and much quieter, so I was able to do a little bit.

My plan was to keep moving forward today while doing afternoon drive (check it out! I’m on NPR! Well, the local affiliate anyway).  But I also felt bad about having downloaded those script from the Black List and not read any, so I checked out THE 13th MAN, a WW2-era thriller about an Army comic book nerd who helps crack a case regarding Nazi agents on American soil.  All music to my ears.

Wow.  This thing is just amazing.  Incredibly well-written.  A genuine page-turner.  Phenomenal story-telling.  My only two gripes: keeping track of some of the G-men characters, and a clever plot twist at the end.  While I did like the twist, and realize it does help hold the rest of the story together, would it all work if that whole subplot didn’t exist?  Maybe.  But I’m not the writer, so I can’t really say.

I’d give it a definite 9 out of 10.  Maybe 9.5.  I only hope the other 10 scripts I’ve got lined up are as entertaining.

One of the things screenwriters always hear is to not just write your own script, but read others.  It’s one thing to read the script for a film that’s been made, or an old favorite.  But reading an unproduced script that is actually circulating around Hollywood, or maybe won some competition(s) really helps open your eyes and shows you what works, while also showing how you could improve your own.

A common occurrence in THE 13TH MAN is that the hero not only repeatedly finds himself in a conflict, that conflict keeps building, and then builds some more, and then even more.  It keeps getting worse, and he has to keep changing how he tackles the problem.  He doesn’t always come out on top, because that would be boring.  But each conflict he survives helps lead into the next one, or maybe has the big payoff thirty, fifty or seventy-five pages later.

I’d love to know how long it took Enio Rigolin from start to finish.  It only got 9 mentions on The Black List, which is a shame.  Then again, I really like this sort of thing, so I’m biased.

Hopefully I’ll be able to support this argument after reading a few more of the Black List scripts, but if Hollywood made more smart, well-written films out of these scripts, the industry would be so much better off.  Treat your audience like intelligent adults!  You’d be surprised how rewarding it can be.  Once they get a taste of it, they’ll want more.  At least I would.

One last thing.  If I were in charge of casting for THE 13TH MAN, the first name crossed off my list for the lead would be Shia LaBeouf.  He may look like the ideal nerdy soldier, but I still have issues with him as the son of Indiana Jones.

Besides, they should have used Frank Darabont’s script for that one in the first place, but that’s another post.

Movie of the Moment: KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE. My first exposure to Miyazaki from way back, and now it’s part of our family library. Utterly charming and just plain fun to watch for grown-ups and kids; the American cast does a good job, but sometimes the original Japanese with subtitles is equally enjoyable.  Most important: V loves it, which is quite reassuring.

My suggestion: If the European element appeals to you, I highly suggest STEAMBOY, Otomo’s underrated follow-up to AKIRA.

Leaps and bounds!

Maximum Z Dan Fogelman, Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting, scriptshadow, story, Veronica

Apparently not being able to work while AT work has its benefits.  Or at least work on MY stuff.

V had a hockey game yesterday morning (which they won 6-0, including a killer performance by their amazing goalie), but there was a lot of downtime before the puck dropped, so I made the most of it by once again barreling my way through the latest part of LUCY’s Act Two.

Once I abandoned the Mormon wagon train idea, things really seemed to take off.  I got our heroes into a new situation, while figuring out how to have everything work towards the latest plotpoint of the Page 45 twist.

And it worked.  So much so that I was able to have more things happen BEYOND that, and I’ve even started working on a way to bring not only one bad guy, but BOTH into the situation, so everything culminates in a wonderfully big mash-up at the halfway point.  Goosebumps, I tell ya!

Honestly, I’m really happy with the way things are progressing.  Of course, I have no idea where I’ll be in the story, say, a week or two from now, or what will be happening in the story, but that’s the point of this outline.  Figure out what works, what doesn’t, and what might.

I also keep reminding myself that there’s still a long way to go, but oh, what a hell of a journey it’s turning into.

Movie of the Moment: I took V and her best friend to see TANGLED yesterday.  Really impressive, but I think the adults in the audience liked it more than the kids did.  We don’t have issues with all that kissy-lovey stuff.

And I couldn’t help but look at it from the writer’s point of view.  Some textbook stuff here and there, but the writer, Dan Fogelman, who’s written a few other Disney films, is well-known for being somebody who can really make you FEEL for the characters (at least according to Carson Reeves at Scriptshadow).  I thought he did a great job.

And even better, V has no desire whatsoever to see the horrendous-looking YOGI BEAR.  We’s raising that child right.

Not so fast, mental block!

Maximum Z Back to the Future, blog, characters, Dreamship, outlines, screenwriting, ScriptQuack, story

Once again, my productivity levels go up when I’m supposed to be doing something else.

This time it was V’s hockey practice.  While my incredible child was working on stopping shots in goal, I sat in the stands with pen and paper, determined to get through the latest bout of writer’s block.

I think I’m on my way.

I managed to come up with an exciting end to a scene that originally seemed kind of boring.  I came up with a better way to introduce the infamous bounty hunter much earlier in the story; this also necessitates and hastens the inevitable rewriting of Act One.  Which is okay.

But I worry the focus on the main character is being drawn away by the ever-developing subplots.  Granted, some of the short scenes I was coming up with are very, very short, but it’s really important that the reader/viewer is always thinking “Will Lucy succeed?”, and especially when she’s NOT in the scene.  (Case in point: I think there’s one or two scenes in Back to the Future WITHOUT Marty McFly.)

So for now, I keep plugging away.  I’m hoping to get to the midpoint by the end of the year.  There are a few weekend shifts as part of that, so that will definitely help.

-A very big thanks to everybody who took a look at this blog over the past few days.  I had a whopping 19 (most ever!) people visit on Wednesday, and that’s a lot.  I hope you’re getting as much enjoyment out of reading this as I do in writing it.

And as always, comments and questions are highly encouraged.

-I haven’t had a chance to start reading my Black List scripts yet.  That may fall under that weekend category as well.  Either GANGSTER SQUAD or THE 13TH MAN will be first.

-While work on LUCY is chugging along (ooh, a train reference!), I keep forgetting I have these great notes on DREAMSHIP from the fine folks at www.scriptquack.com (highly recommended, but I don’t think they’ve put up my testimonial yet).  I’d really like to enter it in next year’s Nicholl, so I gotta get my ass in gear and get to work.  Looks like I may have to go the Stephen King route and work on each one on alternating days.

That’s right.  This never ends.

Goodbye progress!

Maximum Z outlines, plot, story

And hello writer’s block!

I’m about 7 scenes into Act Two, and just couldn’t think of what happens next.  I hate that. I’ve got a few ideas, and I keep going over them in my head to determine whether they work or not.  Fortunately, this is not the first time this has happened, nor will it be the last.  I’ll work my way through it, but boy is it frustrating.

Even worse, I thought of a way to bring in my highly-awaited bounty hunter character, but until I figure out what happens to my protagonist, I can’t do anything with him.

Part of my problem is I overwrite when I’m still in the planning/outlining phase.  You’re supposed to know what the point of the scene is, or at least, what happens to advance the plot.  Sometimes I do, but more and more often, I go way beyond that.  I add snippets of dialogue.  I put in action.  One primary reason for doing so is I think of something that really helps the scene, and if I don’t write it down now, I’m going to forget about it later.

If I can contain myself enough, or at least self-edit, while I put each scene together, it may help move things along.

I’m also reminding myself to not let the story veer off in an unexpected direction that will change everything.  I know where I want to go, but need to stay focused in order to get there.

-I also got some very good notes on Act One from another writer friend.  He had some good suggestions regarding slightly changing a few things, including one I never thought of which would really help in condensing the story as well as speeding things up.

Tomorrow: back on track!