story

From one grind to another

Maximum Z characters, Man of the Century, Movie of the Moment, plot, screenwriting, story, writing gigs
Yeah. Something like that.

And I’m back. My script rewrite is now in the past tense.

Maybe not an out-and-out rewrite per se, but taking a script and reformatting it into script form.  My instructions were to work my magic on the action lines and leave the dialogue alone. Mea culpa – I tinkered with some of that too.

I’ll start off by saying the idea behind the story was good, and there were faint glimmers of potential, but I had lots of problems with the execution.  I don’t know if this was a first draft, but it sure looked and read like one.

-Huge blocks of text in both the wide margins and the dialogue.

-Starting a scene in one room, then having it go to one, two or more locations, without starting a new scene

-Not giving the reader any idea who the main character is, nor establishing what was at stake, if anything.

-Characters who disappear for long stretches of time.

-Tons of unnecessary and unfilmable details.

-Story details that come out of nowhere based on nothing the reader has already read.

-Dialogue that’s pure exposition.  Sometimes repeated several times in several different scenes.

-Scenes without any conflict, or at least nothing to move the story forward, that drag on and on.

-Characters saying each other’s names over and over and over again in each scene.

-Using the same verbs and adjectives throughout the whole thing.

The whole time I was working on this, there were quite a lot of times I couldn’t help but roll my eyes in disbelief.  But the main point is: I’m done with it.

The Nicholl deadline is next week.  No way am I going to make it.  I figure I can work on the DREAMSHIP rewrite, then pump out a first draft of LUCY.

Movie of the Moment: MAN OF THE CENTURY.  A fun, small independent film from ’99 about a man who lives in then-modern NYC as if it were the 1920s. I’d heard about it when it was originally released, which was for about a week in the arthouse circuit.  If you get a kick out of the early days of talkies, or at least the dialogue, then you’ll enjoy this.  Only complaint – they never explain why the guy is like this.

Turns out the star and director also wrote it.  They must have spent a lot of time researching the slang and catchphrases of the day, because they’re prevalent throughout the whole thing.

I was also impressed with how they had about eight different storylines each tie up nice and clean in the last five minutes.

I’d love to know how they got Frank Gorshin involved.  I thought he was in it for a cameo, but he was one of the subplots.

-I got to read a phenomenal action script yesterday.  It was fast-moving, exciting and just a blast to read.  It’s what I hope LUCY can be like.

The benefit of taking a break

Maximum Z characters, Lucy Steele, outlines, screenwriting, Star Wars, story

Today was the first time I really got to sit down and work on the LUCY outline.  I’d been thinking about some of the minor hurdles I was trying to get over, which included what my bad guy wants and how that impacts Lucy’s story.

My page one is always the title, logline and plot point breakdown.

I looked at the logline, which has always given me trouble, and erased it.  I wanted something new.  Something that really encapsulates the story down to its bare minimum.  It took a couple of tries, but I came up with one that works.  I”ll probably change it again at least a few more times, but it works for now.

I looked at the plot point breakdown.  Something didn’t seem right.  The story’s there, but not the way I think it should be.  I change a few words here, add some there, and suddenly, it seems stronger.

And now into the outline itself.  Like I said, I’ve been struggling with the bad guy’s goal.  Then I realized I was worrying too much about the little things and not focusing on telling a story.  I wasn’t enjoying myself.

So one of my original plot points gets changed just a little bit.  The what is different, but the result is still the same.  And to make it that much better, changing that enables me to use it in a bigger, better way for Act Three.

So far, so good.

I’m still in the third quarter of Act Two, and realize I can flesh out at least two sequences, which really helps strengthen the story.  And I also discover I can change the setting of an important sequence, while also bringing in that much-liked rotund character from a few weeks back.

Like I said at the beginning, I really like how it’s all coming together.  True, there are a lot of details that have to be worked out for the rest of Act Two (escalating conflict!), and I started listing what needs to happen in Act Three.

Most importantly, it feels fun again.  Which is always nice.

Movie of the Moment: IT’S A TRAP!, Family Guy’s take on JEDI.  Fun, but the first two were better.  Some truly hilarious moments, but they seemed few and far between.  It’s a good thing they’re not doing these anymore.  It really seems to have run out of steam, which is even acknowledged in the opening crawl.

It’ll be interesting to see what, if anything, they take on next.

Not necessarily floodgates, but still…

Maximum Z Lucy Steele, Oscars, outlines, pie, screenwriting, story

Nice progress today.  I’m putting together the bare basics of what I’d like to happen in that page 45-to-midpoint range.  A few ideas, maybe skipping one or two scenes here and there, but overall, really coming together.

I really wish there could be more days like this.  After so much time struggling and being frustrated, I can’t write the ideas down fast enough.

Sure, some of them may not work in the end, but just the fact that I’m able to do this right now is the writing equivalent of a runner’s high.  Believe me, it feels awesome.

I also realize the proverbial well could dry up at any moment, so I’m enjoying it while it lasts and will really try to remember what this euphoria is like when all I’ve got is a blank screen and a blinking cursor.

-My two cents on the Oscars.  I haven’t seen a majority of the nominees, so I couldn’t tell you who’s going to win what (except maybe TOY STORY 3 for Best Animated Feature).  I’m always really bad at it anyway.

My opinion: go back to five nominees for Best Picture; ten is stupid.

Last year we went to a great party at a friend’s house and played Oscar bingo during the ceremony.  It was a lot of fun.  I also like to think my infamously delectable pecan pie added to the festivities.

It doesn’t look like this year’s cards are ready yet, but Google ‘Oscar bingo’ the closer it gets to the show and print ’em out for your own enjoyment.

You’ll also have to make your own pie.

Ha! Breakthrough!

Maximum Z Lucy Steele, movies, outlines, plot, screenwriting, Star Wars, story

You’d be amazed at how creatively inspiring folding laundry can be.

Sounds crazy, I know, but I was working on the outline, got stuck once again on how to have Lucy track down the bad guy, and I didn’t really want to sit and stare at the screen, hoping for some kind of answer.

So I stood up, stretched and realized I had a ton of laundry on the nearby drying rack to take care of.  The folding of shirts begins.  The whole time, I’m thinking “what could she do?  I know HOW I want her to get there, but what’s the set-up?”

Fold, fold, fold.

Previous attempts at a solution had proven futile.  And I was almost done with the shirts.

She has to find this guy.  It’s the spine of the story.

Last week I had rewritten the beginning, which suddenly offered a story point which would tie in very nicely with what led up to Lucy’s current predicament.

Wow.

That was the spark I needed.  I knew what I wanted, typed out the basis of the idea, then folded the last of the shirts.

But I had to be sure this worked.  A quick jaunt to the DVD player to check how similar another well-known sequence might be.  Answer: a little, but nobody’s going to claim I ripped it off.

I had the answer I wanted.  I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t thought of it before.  It was perfect.  A little readjusting in some scenes beforehand, a burst of creativity in the handful of scenes following, including a reminder about her love interest, and there I was at page 45.

Oh so nice.

Tomorrow: the slog towards the Point of No Return continues!

Movie of the Moment: We DVR’d the last 3 CLONE WARS on Cartoon Network (something about a Dark Side trilogy, based on V’s description) and since tonight’s homework is done early, we may crash on the couch and watch all three (excluding commercials, of course).

Yessir, that girl is growin’ up right!

Coolness

Maximum Z analysis, Filmsack.com, I Blame Ninjas, movies, Netflix, screenwriting, story

Today was pretty busy around the house, so I didn’t get any work done on the LUCY outline.  Drat.

But I said I’d read through Patrick Sweeney’s GHOST TRAIN again, and I did.

I sent him some comments, but the gist of the whole thing was that I was really impressed with it.  I’m a sucker for a good western, and this comes really close.  It’s a great premise (outlaw’s son goes after limitless riches on a train carrying the condemned to hell).  The writing is vivid, colorful and really holds your attention.  This would make a kickass movie.

However.

I did have some questions about some parts of the story.  Some things weren’t exactly clear, hence my need for a second read.  I would read something, and it would stick in my mind as I tried to figure out if that’s what it was supposed to be read.

Don’t get me wrong.  I enjoyed it a lot, but it helps when I can fully grasp the rules of the world a script is portraying.  Makes it easier to follow the story.

When Patrick sent me the script, he said he was open to another draft.  Hopefully my questions will result in answers that clear up some of these problems.

Movie of the Moment:  FRIGHT NIGHT, based on the Filmsack podcast. It was okay.  Interesting to see how this was one of the earlier flicks to cash in on the vampire craze.  Roddy McDowall really helps elevate the material.  I know they’re remaking it with former Doctor Who David Tennant in that role, but this time as a Vegas magician instead of a TV host.

(BTW – Filmsack is free on iTunes and oh-so-worth-it.)

Highly doubtful I’ll see that in the theatre, but definitely out it into the Netflix queue.

Tomorrow:  back to work on LUCY!