Black List

That’s more like it

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, Lucy Steele, Murder of a Cat, outlines, screenwriting

It was quite a challenge, but I finally found a goal for my antagonist I’m happy with.  And even better, I didn’t have to change that much in the outline.  Sure, the opening scene is gone and now focuses on Lucy herself, but I think that’s for the best.

I had completely forgotten how both protagonist and antagonist should stand in the way of the other achieving their goal.  That really helped me figure things out.

Now it’s back into the quagmire that is the latter half of Act Two.  Good news on that front as well: I read over last week’s progress, and a lot of it still works.  So far, so good.

Once I get to the end of Act Two, and then figure out my way through Act Three, fine-tuning it may not be as difficult as I think (he typed with fingers crossed).

-As promised, a little more detail about MURDER OF A CAT, my most recent Black List script.  Like I said, I wasn’t that impressed.

It’s the story of a guy whose cat is murdered, and he works on figuring out the who and the why behind it.  I like the concept, but didn’t like the main character.  Can somebody please announce a moratorium on the now-cliched idea of an arrested development guy still living in his parents’ basement?  It’s no longer original, and I find them really annoying.

Honestly, he really reminded me of Ignatius J Reilly from A CONFEDERACY OF DUNCES.  Which I didn’t like either.  So sue me.

And if I don’t like the main character, why do I care if he succeeds or doesn’t?

But that’s the problem.  Although I didn’t like him, I was interested in the mystery angle of the story.  He just happens to be the guy right in the middle of everything.  And adding to all of that, the main female character turns into a love interest.  I found her becoming attracted to him a little hard to believe.  Having them stay at odds throughout would have been much better.

I’m having a little trouble figuring out how this made it to the Black List.  The writing is…okay.  There doesn’t seem to be anything unique, original or (in my opinion) funny about it.  It wouldn’t surprise me if somebody read this and thought “Will Ferrell would be perfect!”

Who am I kidding?  Half of LA probably did.

Next up: I was going to read CHRONICLE, but I’m almost done with the book version of ABRAHAM LINCOLN, VAMPIRE HUNTER, so I’ll probably tackle the script soon afterwards.  That should be very interesting.

Getting there

Maximum Z animation, antagonist, Black List, Christopher Nolan, Lucy Steele, Murder of a Cat, outlines, screenwriting

The rain returned today, which means I worked until noon, thereby depriving me of about 2 hours of script work time, so there wasn’t much progress today.

But there was at least some.  And it may be more significant than I realize.

My problem was I had this bad guy connected to Lucy’s past.  In fact, he plays a pretty significant role.  I was trying to inject him into the story in a certain way, but kept running into obstacles of one kind or another.  And it wasn’t working.  So I tried another approach, even though I was worried it might seem a little cliched.

But it works better within the story.  So I’ll keep it for now, and see how things develop around it.

It’s supposed to rain all week, so the overall progress may be somewhat limited.  But this latest development is encouraging.

-I finally got around to reading another Black List script: MURDER OF A CAT, by Christian Magalhaes and Robert Snow.  I’ll have more detailed comments tomorrow, but for the most part, I wasn’t that impressed.

Movie of the Moment: Watched DESPICABLE ME with V.  I enjoyed it.  It was clever, original and never condescending, which I always appreciate.  And probably the first time I could actually tolerate Russell Brand.

I always find the best animation to be in the vein of the old Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons.  At first they seem geared towards kids, but a lot of jokes are there for the adults.  Surprisingly, this wasn’t nominated for Best Animated Feature.  It probably wouldn’t win, but at least it could have been nominated.

I also managed to watch INCEPTION over 2 days.  I liked it, but I couldn’t help but keep hearing a co-worker’s comments throughout in that almost everything Ellen Page’s character asks is for the benefit of the audience. “What’s a kick?”, “Limbo?”, “Whose consciousness are we going into again?” and so on.

I especially liked the whole execution of the dreams within dreams part, and each one’s relation to the one it was set inside, which I guess really was the whole second half of the film.

More than once I was thinking “How did they do that?,” but my DVD from Netflix didn’t have any bonus features, so I don’t know how they pulled off any of the special effects.  I’m fairly certain the fight scene in the hotel hallway was similar to the space station in 2001, complete with a circular rolling set.

While the story was a little hard to follow in some parts, visually it was stunning.  Christopher Nolan is definitely one of a kind, and it makes me look forward to THE DARK KNIGHT RISES that much more.

-I applied to a potential short-writing gig.  Zombies are apparently involved, which are always fun.

LA Confidential + The Untouchables

Maximum Z Black List, screenwriting, The Gangster Squad

THE GANGSTER SQUAD by Will Beall was another script from the Black List that caught my attention when I first heard about it.

“Amidst the corruption and chaos of 1940s Los Angeles, the LAPD’s Gangster Squad works to keep the East Coast Mafia out of the city.”

Oh, but it’s so much more than that.

The whole time period screams out “pulp!” and “noir!”, and the script does a phenomenal job of really putting you into that kind of mood.

Notorious crime boss Mickey Cohen has a firm grip over the City of Angels.  LAPD Sgt John O’Mara is called upon by his superiors to put together a secret team to keep hitting at Cohen until that grip is broken.

Saying anything else would venture into spoiler territory.  So moving past what happens, and into how it’s presented…

The writing really sizzles. Crisp, sharp staccato phrases.  Descriptions that burn an image into your mind’s eye and stay there.  Even the writing about such mundane things such as what a key location looks like, or what a particular kind of machine gun looks like, really jumps off the page.

Beall, a former LAPD officer himself, really puts a genuine hard-boiled spin on what you see on the page; all 136 of them zip by.  Literally a page-turner I couldn’t and didn’t want to stop reading.

This is a story rich and teeming with an abundance of diverse characters. I found it pretty easy to follow along, keeping track of who was who, and what they were all about.  Even though there are several subplots, almost one per major AND supporting character, the overall story was fast-paced and never boring.

Beall has been hired to write the reboot of the LETHAL WEAPON franchise, apparently from his pitch.  I think this is a waste of his talents.  Besides, is it really necessary?  The opportunity is right there for Beall to do something new and original.

Based on this script, I’d rather see something new than a retread of something from 20 years ago.  But that’s just me.

Our campouts were never like this

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, Boy Scouts vs Zombies, characters, comedy, horror, movies, screenwriting, story, zombies

Finally got to read BOY SCOUTS VS ZOMBIES, a horror comedy that ranked on the Black List.

The concept: A troop of Boy Scouts on their weekend camping trip must protect an island town after a zombie outbreak and save the local girl scout troop.

Personally, I’m getting a little tired of the whole zombie thing (although ZOMBIELAND was fun), this sounded interesting.  Seeing as how I was a Boy Scout (big surprise, right?), I wanted to see what the writers, Carrie Evans and Emi Mochizuko, would do with it.

First and foremost: A really fast read.  I zipped through this thing in about 90 minutes.  The whole thing really moves along.

I was also surprised how just about all the characters veer into stereotypes. The somewhat bland main character who’s too shy to tell the girl he likes her, the too-cool friend, the fat slob other friend, the mama’s boy, the overenthusiastic scoutleader, and so on.

It was a little difficult keeping track of all the characters, especially since the first half really focuses on the boys, then really adding the girls into the mix around halfway.  It was also pretty easy to tell which characters were going to be the token redshirts.

Once it settled into ‘will they survive or won’t they?’ mode, I was trying to figure out which characters would be the surprise death.  Surprisingly, that didn’t happen.

And the subplot about the top-secret lab where the whole thing starts seems to disappear after they decide to send out the commandos to neutralize the situation.  Some kind of follow-up would have been nice.

I’d also like to add that technically, the zombies here are the “infected with a virus that simulates zombie-like characteristics” type rather than the truly living dead.  This seems to be the go-to reasoning behind a lot of recent zombie stories.  I guess that’s easier than figuring out how to really raise the dead.  George Romero used radiation, so why not something similar?  But I digress.

Some of the jokes fell a little flat, but there were a handful that made me laugh out loud.  I especially liked the line after one girl turns zombie and tries to eat her friends, one says “Jenny! No! You’re a vegan!”  I also liked how even as everything around them is going to hell, the scouts try to take care of things via the Scout Handbook.  Again, I’m biased.  I don’t know if the guys in my troop would have been able to keep their heads like this.

I wasn’t crazy about when the wide margins would say something about the characters that should really come across in their actions and dialogue (“Matt’s dad has great expectations for his son, and they don’t involve fat slackers and comic books.”)  I always thought this sort of thing was frowned upon, but these two writers were in Disney’s Writing Program, so maybe there are exceptions.

I also wasn’t sure about the idea that a zombie can do the same things they did when they were alive, like a rock climber who turns into a zombie remembers how to climb a cliff.  It seems a little weak.

I really think with a little tweaking here and there, this thing could be fantastic.  It’s already been picked up for production, so it’ll be interesting to see what they do with it.

Would I pay to see it in the theatre?  Probably not.  But I’d definitely put it in the Netflix queue.

This is my last post for 2010, and since I haven’t seen that many movies in the theatres this year, I don’t have a list of my top 10 picks.  I’m just happy to be able to watch so many good flicks, and still plan on my own stuff being part of that someday.

Have a great 2011, and feel free to drop a note once in a while.

p.s.  Almost forgot.  If you’d like to take a look at any of these scripts, let me know and I’ll forward it to you.

My work is cut out for me

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, characters, espionage, Miyazaki, outlines, plot, radio, screenwriting, story, The 13th Man, thrillers, WWII

Due to heavy rainfall on Christmas Day, this poor little Jewish traffic reporter was swamped with work (no pun intended) on Saturday, so I got absolutely nothing done on the outline.

Sunday was sunny and much quieter, so I was able to do a little bit.

My plan was to keep moving forward today while doing afternoon drive (check it out! I’m on NPR! Well, the local affiliate anyway).  But I also felt bad about having downloaded those script from the Black List and not read any, so I checked out THE 13th MAN, a WW2-era thriller about an Army comic book nerd who helps crack a case regarding Nazi agents on American soil.  All music to my ears.

Wow.  This thing is just amazing.  Incredibly well-written.  A genuine page-turner.  Phenomenal story-telling.  My only two gripes: keeping track of some of the G-men characters, and a clever plot twist at the end.  While I did like the twist, and realize it does help hold the rest of the story together, would it all work if that whole subplot didn’t exist?  Maybe.  But I’m not the writer, so I can’t really say.

I’d give it a definite 9 out of 10.  Maybe 9.5.  I only hope the other 10 scripts I’ve got lined up are as entertaining.

One of the things screenwriters always hear is to not just write your own script, but read others.  It’s one thing to read the script for a film that’s been made, or an old favorite.  But reading an unproduced script that is actually circulating around Hollywood, or maybe won some competition(s) really helps open your eyes and shows you what works, while also showing how you could improve your own.

A common occurrence in THE 13TH MAN is that the hero not only repeatedly finds himself in a conflict, that conflict keeps building, and then builds some more, and then even more.  It keeps getting worse, and he has to keep changing how he tackles the problem.  He doesn’t always come out on top, because that would be boring.  But each conflict he survives helps lead into the next one, or maybe has the big payoff thirty, fifty or seventy-five pages later.

I’d love to know how long it took Enio Rigolin from start to finish.  It only got 9 mentions on The Black List, which is a shame.  Then again, I really like this sort of thing, so I’m biased.

Hopefully I’ll be able to support this argument after reading a few more of the Black List scripts, but if Hollywood made more smart, well-written films out of these scripts, the industry would be so much better off.  Treat your audience like intelligent adults!  You’d be surprised how rewarding it can be.  Once they get a taste of it, they’ll want more.  At least I would.

One last thing.  If I were in charge of casting for THE 13TH MAN, the first name crossed off my list for the lead would be Shia LaBeouf.  He may look like the ideal nerdy soldier, but I still have issues with him as the son of Indiana Jones.

Besides, they should have used Frank Darabont’s script for that one in the first place, but that’s another post.

Movie of the Moment: KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE. My first exposure to Miyazaki from way back, and now it’s part of our family library. Utterly charming and just plain fun to watch for grown-ups and kids; the American cast does a good job, but sometimes the original Japanese with subtitles is equally enjoyable.  Most important: V loves it, which is quite reassuring.

My suggestion: If the European element appeals to you, I highly suggest STEAMBOY, Otomo’s underrated follow-up to AKIRA.