ambition

Relocating to a state of zen – OR – Ohmmmmmm

Maximum Z ambition, analysis, characters, comedy, contest, Creative Writing Career, determination, feedback, Nicholl Fellowship, notes, PAGE, podcasts, reading, rewriting, screenwriting, script, self-confidence, westerns, writing
I'll wear the orange, but no way am I shaving my head
I don’t mind the orange robes or the incense, but no way am I shaving my head

As has been well-documented round these parts, I recently entered my western in two contests. One includes feedback as part of the entrance fee, the other gives it as an option.

I don’t usually go the feedback route when it comes to contests, but it had been recommended, so I bit the bullet and opted to do it.

You know that nervous feeling you get in the pit of your stomach while you’re waiting for some kind of potentially life-impacting news? That’s exactly what I was experiencing. Despite my confidence in the script, plus positive comments from friends and trusted colleagues, the butterflies were still taking up residence in my mid-section.

No matter how much I tried to redirect my concentration on working on the low-budget comedy, that nagging thought about the contest feedback would not go away.

What if after all was said and done, the general consensus was that the script sucked and I’d wasted all that time and effort for nothing? Sometimes there’s nothing as powerful as a writer’s self-doubt. It can be downright crippling.

Then the first email came in. If I’d been hooked up to a heart monitor, the thing would have blown a fuse in trying to keep up.

The notes were very positive. Some intriguing comments about what the reader thought needed work, but they seemed to really enjoy it. Possibly even a lot, which was extremely reassuring.

The way I see it, if the reader isn’t gushing over how perfect and wonderful the script is, then I figure there’s not much chance it’ll place, let alone win. Turns out I’m cool with that. While it would be great to win, this is still a pretty solid result.

Two days later, the next email came in. Oh jeez. All those positive feelings I’d reestablished vanished in a puff of smoke. Here we go again.

But much to my surprise, these notes were on par with their predecessor. Lots of positive things to say, plus some suggestions about potential fixes, plus a few things the reader didn’t catch that I thought were fairly obvious, or at least hadn’t been an issue before.

These notes also included scores in 16 categories. Out of a potential 10, I got 2 8s, 2 10s, and the rest were 9s, which was fantastic. Final score 135 out of 150. Not perfect, but still – they seemed to like it, and nobody’s saying, “You suck! Give up now!”  Again, do I think I’ll win? Not likely. Place? Maybe. But right now, that doesn’t seem important.

This whole experience definitely feels like a “face your fears” kind of thing. I know I can do this, and each draft really does help me improve. I was psyching myself out about how I’d do, and ended up actually doing better than expected. That’s pretty good. And since each set of notes had similar things to say about a particular part of the script, I have plenty of time to work on making those fixes before the deadlines for more high-profile contests like PAGE and the Nicholl. Also pretty good.

But most of all I really like the fact that now I can finally put aside thinking/worrying/obsessing about these contests with a little more confidence in my abilities and get back to focusing on developing my other scripts*.

*I’m taking part in the “write an entire script in November” project, but I admit to having had a bit of a head start by working on the low-budget comedy, which was already around the halfway point. But getting this draft done by the end of the month would still put me ahead of schedule.

-My writing chum Justin Sloan, who’s interviewed me as part of his Creative Writing Career book series, has launched the similarly-named Creative Writing Career podcast. A great listen for creative writers interested in several fields, including screenwriting, books and video games. Highly recommended.

Hand over the peanut butter cups and nobody gets hurt

Maximum Z ambition, contest, feedback, Halloween, query letter, screenwriting, script, westerns, writing
Anybody else suspect how the American Dental Association figures in all of this?
Anybody else suspect how the American Dental Association figures in all of this?

Halloween Eve shorty today.

This has been a real rollercoaster of a week around Maximum Z HQ. Highs, lows, and many points in between, including:

-Notes back from BlueCat and Screencrafting Action about the western. Very positive comments from both, plus a few “needs a little work”-type items. Don’t know if I have a shot at winning either, but I’d be okay with a top 10 or along those lines. At least nobody said the script sucked.

-Been busy giving notes on friends’ scripts. So far, everybody’s liked what I’ve had to say, including a lot of agreement about what the notes say. Always nice.

-Started compiling a new list of potential query recipients to add to the master list I already have. Also got some great feedback on a revamped query letter. Trying to be more organized about it this time, including customizing as many letters as I can.

-There’s a strong sense of big changes of a positive nature in the air, so I’m going to do what I can to hold on to those and keep working on turning them into reality.

Hope you have a great weekend and get lots of kickass writing done (after whatever Halloween activities you’ll be engaging in, of course).

A vital part of my creative engine

Maximum Z adventure, ambition, analysis, determination, feedback, half-marathons, manager, motivation, running, screenwriting, script, self-confidence, synopsis
It helps me keep going forward
It helps me keep going forward

“The concept has potential, but a 16 year old lead without a property is really hard to cast, it would definitely need an A-list movie star. With this kind of lead, you might want to scale it back more and not make it so ambitious. Pass”

This was a management firm’s response to the one-page synopsis for my fantasy-adventure. It stung a little at first, but I’ve gotten over it. That’s when things shifted to analysis mode.

I appreciate the part about it having potential. Always nice to hear. Composing a one-pager has always been tough for me, so maybe the rollercoaster ride-ness of the story wasn’t conveyed enough. Nothing a little editing and rewriting couldn’t fix.

Regarding the actors. They’re looking at it from a business point of view, and who’d take a chance on a high-budget script written by an unknown?

Scaling it back. Um…not sure about that. I’ve created a new world within the confines of the story, so it’s kind of set in place. Nor do I feel overwhelmingly compelled to drastically change things around to suit the needs of somebody who might be potentially interested.

But “not make it so ambitious”? Afraid I’ll have to totally disagree with that one.

In the context of this kind of story, things cannot be kept simple. They need to be ambitious. In some ways, the story is an extension of my own ambition. My objective here is to tell a fun, entertaining story that takes you on an exciting ride. I strive to come up with new ideas, or at least new takes and approaches on old ones. I want my work to wow you and thrill you.

So the script wasn’t right for this particular person. Big deal. I took a chance, and it didn’t work out. The end of the world is not nigh. They’re definitely not the only ones out there, nor were they my only option. The person to say “yes” is still out there, and I’ll keep at it until we connect.

Never, ever underestimate the ambition and determination of a writer with their goals firmly set in place. It makes us quite formidable.

-Race alert! I’m running the Oakland half-marathon on Sunday. This race totally kicked my ass two years ago due to a combo of warmer-than-expected weather and a too-fast pace, so going into it with a goal of keeping it under two hours and the strategy of really trying to maintain a steady pace (especially for the first couple of miles) and doing what I can to stay cool. If that involves dumping water over my head at every water stop, so be it.

See you at the finish line.