plot

So close I can taste it

Maximum Z Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting

The problem I’ve been having with this particular section of LUCY is how to ramp up the action while moving the story forward. But then I get stuck in how to execute that action.

I have a list of story ideas that has come in really handy, but lately it feels like the well has run dry.  There is one possibility that I’m working on.  There’s definite potential in it, but I’m working on seeing if it will fit.  I’ll feel better if I can make it work.  Which it will.

Once I figure out the next couple of scenes, I can move on to Act 3. And the ideas are already developing for that.

Say when

Maximum Z analysis, Dreamship, Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting, ScriptQuack

Rain has returned to the Bay Area, which means another 4:30 to noon day for yours truly, followed by an appointment in the afternoon, which means no physical work on LUCY.

Mental work, though, is another issue.

I printed out the outline pages I have so far, and realized something I haven’t noticed in a while: I have a lot going on in this story. And when I say a lot, I mean Faulkner-on-a-roll lot.

There will be lots of editing when I reach the end, but I have to stop myself from doing it now. It probably doesn’t help that I keep putting more stuff in and expanding and creating more storylines. Just trying to tie it all together. Honest.

It’s getting more complicated, despite my efforts to have that not happen. I know I’ve mentioned the number of scenes per section of Act Two, and it’s still too high.

I look at well-done action films (DIE HARD, RAIDERS) and there is no fat to those stories. Everything serves a purpose AND moves the story forward. Me, I got too much fat in mine. It slows things down.

I need to start swinging my metaphoric editor’s butcher knife and trim a lot of it away.

-Just a quick plug for script analysis service Script Quack, listed just over there on the right in the blogroll section.  I used them last year for DREAMSHIP and they came through with some fantastic feedback.  My original plan was to take their very thorough notes and do a rewrite for this year’s Nicholl.  Probably won’t happen due to all my work on LUCY, but definitely for next year.

While some places charge $200 and up for basic notes, Script Quack was only $99, which is a real bargain.  I highly recommend them, and I don’t get anything in return for doing so.  So there.

Time to put on my editing hat

Maximum Z Lucy Steele, outlines, Pixar, plot, screenwriting

Nice progress today on the outline.  I’m getting close to the midpoint, with only a handful of scenes left to fill in.  But it also looks like I’m going to need more scenes than I expected to get there.

I’m a bit concerned I may try to jam too much into that handful.  The first quarter of Act Two is approximately 16-17 pages, and I’m nearing the end of that second quarter.  I know what I would like to happen in those pages, but worry it may run around 20 pages, or even more.

I’m trying to keep things nice and tight, but don’t want to skimp on moving the story forward.

I may go the “get it all on the page” route, and then edit the hell out of it.  I could also probably shrink down that first quarter-section by at least 1-2 pages.  I suppose the important part is it’s getting done, period.

I’m also a little surprised about how productive I’ve been over the past few weeks.  When I first started this a few months ago, I had a very basic idea of what I wanted.  But the more I worked at it, the harder it seemed to keep things moving.  The self-doubt started to creep in, but I had a good feeling about this and was determined to keep going.

I noticed that when I would read what I had written, some of it would come across in a different way than I originally intended, which really triggered the creative process.  A lot of “What ifs?” and “How abouts?” just bubbled to the surface, paying off immeasurably more than I could have expected.  So far, that feeling returns just about every time I sit down to work.

No doubt about it.  I am a creative dynamo when things are clicking.

What’s also really cool about working on LUCY is I’m really enjoying it.  I worked on BABY LIKES JAZZ for two years, and was never satisfied with it.  As much as I enjoy comedy, it just ain’t my thing.  In contrast, the spirit of adventure that runs through LUCY is quite liberating, and dare I say it?  Energizing.

Hopefully people (and Hollywood) will feel the same way when it’s done and ready for public consumption.

Movie of the Moment: RATATOUILLE. V and I watched the first half the other day. This is one of Pixar’s underappreciated gems, and I’m not just saying that because I love Paris.  And food.

It’s a clever, original story, told with the usual Pixar flair.  My one complaint is the number of chefs in the kitchen.  It was hard to keep track of who was who, and it’s Linguini’s story anyway, so when they all left, things were much easier to follow.

Ha! Breakthrough!

Maximum Z Lucy Steele, movies, outlines, plot, screenwriting, Star Wars, story

You’d be amazed at how creatively inspiring folding laundry can be.

Sounds crazy, I know, but I was working on the outline, got stuck once again on how to have Lucy track down the bad guy, and I didn’t really want to sit and stare at the screen, hoping for some kind of answer.

So I stood up, stretched and realized I had a ton of laundry on the nearby drying rack to take care of.  The folding of shirts begins.  The whole time, I’m thinking “what could she do?  I know HOW I want her to get there, but what’s the set-up?”

Fold, fold, fold.

Previous attempts at a solution had proven futile.  And I was almost done with the shirts.

She has to find this guy.  It’s the spine of the story.

Last week I had rewritten the beginning, which suddenly offered a story point which would tie in very nicely with what led up to Lucy’s current predicament.

Wow.

That was the spark I needed.  I knew what I wanted, typed out the basis of the idea, then folded the last of the shirts.

But I had to be sure this worked.  A quick jaunt to the DVD player to check how similar another well-known sequence might be.  Answer: a little, but nobody’s going to claim I ripped it off.

I had the answer I wanted.  I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t thought of it before.  It was perfect.  A little readjusting in some scenes beforehand, a burst of creativity in the handful of scenes following, including a reminder about her love interest, and there I was at page 45.

Oh so nice.

Tomorrow: the slog towards the Point of No Return continues!

Movie of the Moment: We DVR’d the last 3 CLONE WARS on Cartoon Network (something about a Dark Side trilogy, based on V’s description) and since tonight’s homework is done early, we may crash on the couch and watch all three (excluding commercials, of course).

Yessir, that girl is growin’ up right!

Title? We don’t need no stinkin’ title!

Maximum Z Bad News Bears, Filmsack.com, hockey, Lake Tahoe, loglines, Lost In Space, movies, outlines, plot, screenwriting, story, Triggerstreet, Veronica, Walter Matthau

Okay.  I’m back from a rousing hockey tournament at Lake Tahoe, where V’s team came in 3rd out of 6, including their 2 wins with her in goal.  In fact, she was awarded the MVP puck for their 8-1 victory on Saturday night.  Overall, it was very exciting.  Cold, but exciting.

Just before we left, I was introduced to Triggerstreet.com, a screenwriting review/forum website (Kevin Spacey is one of the founders). Part of the way they work is having members review other members’ scripts.  I haven’t submitted anything yet, but plan to in the near future.

But it was the forum that especially intrigued me.  I decided to take the plunge and posted a question about my logline for LUCY.  I did that on Thursday afternoon.  By the evening, I had a few responses and something like 75 views.  What’s cool about the set-up is that you can opt to get an email notification that somebody’s responded to your post.  A lot of the drive up to Tahoe was spent checking them out.

I have to say I got some really good feedback, and even better, got what I feel is a stronger logline for the story.  I thought about posting that 3 Stooges one just to see what people think, but I’ll hold off for a little while.

Speaking of which, I sent in the old LUCY logline and the 3 Stooges one to the logline contest.  Neither one won, but honestly, I don’t really think that much of some recent winners.  I may try again with the new LUCY one.  It’s a wait-and-see situation.

-As much as I thought/hoped it might happen this weekend, I didn’t get a lot of work done on the outline.

So now that I’ve got an outline I like much better, I felt I had to start over with it, albeit with a few minor changes.  But as I was looking it over, there didn’t seem to be much I thought had to come out.  There are still a few places where I may have to make some slight readjustments, but it may not be as daunting a project as I originally thought.

And I may have stumbled onto a solution for moving the story along.  All I have to do now is figure out how to incorporate it into the story. Which I think I can do

Movie of the Moment:  A few to go over. First the original BAD NEWS BEARS. The other girl on V’s hockey team owns this, and we watched it on Saturday afternoon.  Watching it now as a parent is a lot different than when I was a lot closer to the age of a lot of the cast.  It was really weird watching Walter Matthau, especially since I’ve seen more of his work in recent years.

But the story and the writing still hold up.  Some good jokes sprinkled around here and there, but more would have been nice.  It’s also really weird to have a PG movie from the mid-70s have so much mild cursing in it.  From a writing point of view, the character development is strictly textbook, but effective.  What was also clever was that only a handful of scenes are set inside; a majority are set at the ball field.  And you get to know almost all of the kids on the team; just a handful don’t serve much purpose.  I know they made a remake with Billy Bob Thornton a few years ago, but I don’t see the point.

The other movie was LOST IN SPACE, only because it was on TV today while I was working.  I saw this in the theater back in 1998, and enjoyed it.  Not a lot, but worth the $6 for the matinee.  Incidentally, this would be a great choice for the Filmsack guys.

But looking at it today, it really drags in some places and the dialogue doesn’t really do much for me.  I still don’t understand why they didn’t just kill Gary Oldman’s Dr Smith.  He tried to sabotage their mission and they still let him live?  Ridiculous.  And don’t get me started on the cgi monkey alien.  Lame.

Akiva Goldsman, who wrote it (as well as BATMAN & ROBIN, but also A BEAUTIFUL MIND – go figure), has become more of a producer and has thankfully let his writing career diminish.  While I love the concept of the movie, this one just felt forced and could have been a little shorter.  Still, to me it’s one of the slightly better 60s-TV-show-based films, as opposed to that big ol’ chunk of cinematic Velveeta known as WILD WILD WEST.

Now just try to get that gigantic steampunk spider-tank out of your mind.

You’re welcome.