The possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately 3,720 to 1

During a recent break from the writing, I saw a few posts on social media celebrating the 43rd(!) anniversary of the release of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.

I was around for that. Proudly so.

I decided to give it another watch, mostly for nostalgia’s sake.

Even though I’ve seen it numerous times, this time felt a little different. I found myself watching it from a writer’s point of view.*

It made for a very different experience, involving continuously making mental notes and asking questions.

“How did this look on the page?”

“Wow, that dialogue gets right to the point without being on-the-nose”

“What an incredibly tight scene”

“Pay attention to how the characters are shown changing over the course of the story”

Just seeing how smooth the story flows, how tight the whole thing is, and how all the subplots are laid out really struck a chord for me.

THIS is how I want my scripts to come across.

I’ve already said that this current draft of my sci-fi adventure is all about getting pages written and holding off on editing/revising until it’s complete. That still applies.

But when I do get to that point, I’m already anticipating looking at each scene and trying to figure out what changes could be made to achieve that same level of tightness, structure, and efficiency.

And it’s just a coincidence about my script being a similar genre; this approach would help no matter what I was working on.

This is all just further proof that a writer’s education never truly stops, watching well-written films can benefit your own writing process, and that there’s always an opportunity to learn how to improve your writing.

*Full acknowledgment to credited writers Leigh Brackett, Lawrence Kasdan and George Lucas*

Implementing course correction

Got a hard lesson in humility and a hearty dose of reality these past few weeks.

I’d thought my animated fantasy-comedy spec was ready to set loose on the world, so had submitted it to contests of note, plus a few other genre-centric ones.

Initial results have been trickling in, and those results have been drastically less than desired.

Naturally, it raises doubts about ability and lots of second-guessing on several fronts.

I’d sent it out to some trusted colleagues for feedback, and almost all of them were very enthusiastic and encouraging about it. There were even words of praise from writers of exceptional quality, which added to my growing feelings of confidence.

Note I’d said “almost all”. There were a few that didn’t care for it. They weren’t fans of animation, fantasy, or comedy, or the script was too light-hearted for them. No matter what, it just wasn’t for them.

I get that. Not everybody’s going to like everything.

But it was the comments about why it wasn’t working that really struck a nerve – at first in a negative way, but like with many notes, the hidden positives and takeaways soon came to light.

Questions were asked and about story details, characters, the world it’s set in, and so forth.

When several people ask the same question or have the same concern, then that’s something that needs to be addressed.

So after a brief period of “sheesh, I must be a really shitty writer”, I took those notes and started figuring out how to make the appropriate fixes.

As you’d expect with a rewrite/revision, darlings had to be killed. Painful, but necessary. On the upside, the replacement material seems to be working; some beyond expectations.

I’ve already written off this year’s contest season. If anything positive happens, that’ll be great, but just seems highly unlikely at this point.

It’s frustrating that this is how things worked out, but it’s just the way it is. Putting in this new round of work is helping restore confidence levels for myself and the material.

Everything from this point forward is all about getting the script into better shape – and to be ready for next year.

It may not pretty, but at least it’s something

This isn’t saying the Mona Lisa isn’t pretty. It was just tough to find a picture of people looking at art.

Some exceptionally helpful notes continue to come in on the latest draft of the animated fantasy-comedy spec. For the most part, very supportive and encouraging, along with some great suggestions for small fixes here and there.

But one note really hit home – not because it was overly negative, but because it touched on something that I’d been uncertain about.

I won’t go into too much detail, but it involves how in one sequence the focus shifts from my protagonist to set up the backstory of some important supporting characters. Even while I was putting it together, it seemed kind of odd and I wasn’t entirely sure it worked, but felt it was “good enough for now”.

Nevertheless, something about it still didn’t seem right.

Numerous options rolled around in my head as I strained to come up with a solution, but still nothing. Also not helping was that constant trepidation when dealing with a rewrite. Would I be able to come up with something that works the way I need it to?

So I decided follow one of the most important tips for writing, screen or otherwise:

I just sat down and started writing. I knew what I wanted to accomplish – have the protagonist be part of it, which helped guide things along.

And thus the words did flow.

Revised and totally new scenes were churned out over the next 60 minutes or so. As is my usual m.o., there’s probably more in the new stuff than I’ll need. Trimming the fat later shouldn’t be too challenging, but I’d rather have more than I need than come up short.

I also managed to come up with a few details that I could plant early on in the story that would pay off later, and came up with a joke that actually made me laugh out loud. Hopefully others have the same reaction.

Overall, I’m quite pleased with how it turned out. Confidence and enthusiasm for this script continue to build.

But don’t get me wrong. There’s definitely more work that needs to be done, but this is a pretty encouraging step.

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A friendly reminder – just two weeks to go until the Maximum Z Winter ’22 Script Showcase goes up (Dec 2), so make sure to send in the details about your spec screenplay or TV script ASAP.

All the info is right here: https://wp.me/prjnO-8yJ

Seeing some shine on that diamond in the rough

Even as I was getting the latest book ready over the past few weeks, I still made an effort to split time among a few other ongoing projects.

On that list: a severe edit of the animated fantasy-comedy spec.

The previous draft had clocked in at 120 pages, which admittedly is kind of long, especially for an animated story.

So it had to not only be tightened up in regards to what’s on the page, but also the actual number of pages. Fifteen to twenty, while seemingly excessive, felt appropriate.

Armed with some exceptional notes and a strong idea of all the issues that needed addressing, I set to it.

The phrase “kill your darlings” played a significant role during this process. Several scenes I loved were, as pointed out by an extremely savvy reader, more of a distraction from the main storyline and were actually slowing down the read.

Highlight, delete, mourn their demise, move on.

A good number of scenes underwent a major overhaul, including severe tightening up, rephrasing of dialogue, and a whole lot of moving stuff around. Sometimes a change would be made that I didn’t realize needed to be made. That’s always a surprise.

All of this combined ended up cutting 14 pages, bringing the grand total down to 106. Not too bad.

From my perspective, what ended up being the biggest accomplishment was that the whole thing seemed stronger than before; more put-together. It’s been a while since I’ve felt this positive about a draft.

It’s been sent to the latest batch of readers, and I’ve no doubt they’ll do a bang-up job in finding faults and spotlighting what needs work. As they should, and that’s fine with me.

It’ll help the next draft be even better.

What’s new, missing, or different?

It happens to every writer. You start the rewrite of your latest draft, and you need to figure out what needs to be cut or changed. Sometimes it ain’t that easy, and sometimes you hack and slash with wild abandon.

Part of my recent focus has been rewriting the fantasy-comedy spec, which has involved a little bit of both.

It already needed some trimming – at least 5-10 pages’ worth, so that’s just one of the many things taken into consideration as I work my way through it.

I’ve been told my writing is pretty sparse to begin with, so finding material to tighten, let alone cut, has been somewhat tough.

Tough, but not impossible.

There’s the small stuff. A widow/orphan word here, a snippet of dialogue there. Finding some way to get those three action lines down to two, or one if you can swing it.

Then there’s the big stuff. One noteworthy item was a particular story detail that had been around almost since the story’s inception that wasn’t syncing as well with the story as it was now, so that had to be changed. This caused a domino effect on all the things it impacted, which meant making sure all those connections had to be adjusted so everything still meshed in a smooth and organized manner. It was a bit of a pain to deal with, but it had to be done.

The big stuff also has its fair share of little stuff. A scene or sequence that needs a major overhaul – already dealt with a few of those, as well as a few half-page scenes that I hated to cut. Then there was a character I initially loved that proved to be ultimately unnecessary, so out they went.

If I maintain this amount of cutting, there’s no reason the finished draft couldn’t fall within the target range of the aforementioned 5-10 pages. If it ends being more than that, great (but at this point seems highly unlikely). If it’s just a few pages shorter, that’s still okay, and I’ve no doubt my beta readers will have plenty of suggestions that I probably never even considered.

No matter what gets cut or changed, it’s all for the benefit of the story. As long as the script is a tight, succinct and solid read, that’s a win.

(Turns out I’ve written about this before, waaaay back in 2013. A lot of it is still applicable, except for the part about my time in the half-marathon. Those days are long past.)

Friendly reminder: my book Go Ahead And Ask! Interviews About Screenwriting (And Pie) Volume 3 officially comes out on October 7th (two weeks from today), and the final setup of the links on Amazon and Smashwords is just about done, in case you’d like to purchase it slightly ahead of schedule. Signed copies will be available. Just let me know.