query letter

Hand over the peanut butter cups and nobody gets hurt

Maximum Z ambition, contest, feedback, Halloween, query letter, screenwriting, script, westerns, writing
Anybody else suspect how the American Dental Association figures in all of this?
Anybody else suspect how the American Dental Association figures in all of this?

Halloween Eve shorty today.

This has been a real rollercoaster of a week around Maximum Z HQ. Highs, lows, and many points in between, including:

-Notes back from BlueCat and Screencrafting Action about the western. Very positive comments from both, plus a few “needs a little work”-type items. Don’t know if I have a shot at winning either, but I’d be okay with a top 10 or along those lines. At least nobody said the script sucked.

-Been busy giving notes on friends’ scripts. So far, everybody’s liked what I’ve had to say, including a lot of agreement about what the notes say. Always nice.

-Started compiling a new list of potential query recipients to add to the master list I already have. Also got some great feedback on a revamped query letter. Trying to be more organized about it this time, including customizing as many letters as I can.

-There’s a strong sense of big changes of a positive nature in the air, so I’m going to do what I can to hold on to those and keep working on turning them into reality.

Hope you have a great weekend and get lots of kickass writing done (after whatever Halloween activities you’ll be engaging in, of course).

Like coming to Casablanca for the waters, I was misinformed

Maximum Z Casablanca, contest, feedback, genre, hook, query letter, screenwriting, script, title, writing
You and I are kindred spirits, Mr. Blaine
Kindred spirits you and I, Mr. Blaine

I really, really, REALLY do not like making mistakes, especially when it comes to things related/connected to screenwriting, and even more so when it comes to trying to get a career going.

This time around, it’s regarding query letters. Even though a majority are now done via email, for the sake of the discussion, they’ll still be referred to as ‘letters’.

Query letters are a tricky beast. Getting them just right takes an inordinate amount of effort. Some might even say just as much as goes into your script.

I actually don’t mind researching appropriate recipients, or spending the time crafting the letter (which also includes getting feedback on it from those who know more about it than I – a hearty thanks to those who’ve offered their invaluable insight & suggestions!).

What really gets my goat is when I learn, usually after the fact, that I’ve done something that can only be classified as straight-up stupid, or at least counterproductive.

And it all stems from one small, seemingly insignificant thing: what goes in the subject line.

Turns out – not so insignificant. The subject line is your one shot to grab their interest and get them to keep reading. But what should it be? There are several schools of thought about this, but more on that in a second.

I couldn’t tell you where I read it, but the advice (from an “expert”, mind you) I’d heard recommended listing the title, followed by the word ‘query’.

Wrong. Wrong! WRONG!

Apparently including the ‘q’-word is just one big kiss of death. It screams out “Amateur!” and pretty much guarantees your email will probably be deleted without even being read.

So don’t do it! Avoid at all costs!

What should you use? As stated above, several options.

-Just the title

-Title and genre

-A noteworthy contest award (e.g. “2015 Nicholl semifinalist”)

-The hook of your story. Keep it brief!

-“THIS meets THAT” (Opinions are mixed on this. Some writers have said they use it, but a few consultants say not to.)

-Referred by _____

The floor is open to other suggestions.

As for me, lesson learned as I gear up to re-send all those emails in the coming weeks. A weighty project, but whatever it takes. I’m leaning towards just the title or the hook.

Climbing back in the saddle. Again.

Maximum Z agent, determination, manager, perseverance, query letter, rejection, representation, screenwriting, self-confidence, westerns, writing
It helps to have a patient horse
It helps to have a patient horse

The results are in, and it’s not looking good.

Out of the 100+ query letters I sent out last month, a whopping total of 2 managers asked to read the western. One is a larger, more well-known place that has asked for my scripts before but has a reputation for non-responsiveness, so not much hope there.

The other was a smaller one-person operation who seemed very interested. I sent the requisite follow-up email, but was told that they “unfortunately didn’t respond as strongly as I would have liked,” and wished me good luck with it.

I hate this part of this process.

Was I upset and disappointed? Of course.

Was my confidence and belief in my writing ability shaken to its very core? Yup.

Was I convinced that I was pursuing a foolish dream and that things would never work out? Pretty much.

Jump ahead to today. I’m still upset and slightly disheartened, but intent on movin’ forward. Giving up continues to NOT be an option.

I’ve revised the letter, have my previous list of email addresses, plus a new one, so a new round of queries is forthcoming. I also learned after sending out the previous batch that the industry for the most part shuts down in August, so it’s more than likely that those queries were never even seen, let alone read.

All I can do is send this latest round out and hope for the best. I’ll distract myself by writing a lot, but also know that a few weeks after they’re sent, every time an alert of a new email pops up, I’ll secretly hope it’s one of the many recipients saying “I’d like to read that.”

Chances are it won’t be, but it doesn’t hurt to think positive thoughts.

Fingers, as always, remain firmly crossed.

And now for the rebuttal…

Maximum Z agent, analysis, consultant, manager, production company, query letter, representation, screenwriting, script, writing
And a big shout-out to the Madison Avenue boys for making me look so good!

In the previous installment, I’d written about receiving the following email in response to a query letter sent to a manager:

“Dear Paul,

My friend and business associate XX (the manager) forwarded to me your query (SCRIPT TITLE) in case you might be interested in my consulting service (website).  XX and I worked together (I as a studio executive at XX, XX as the producer) on the film XX, starring XX.  My service offers you my experience having worked with countless writers during my 35 years as a studio executive.  Here’s what I do:  I analyze what you have written – in this case your screenplay – from a creative standpoint to start with, and if I feel its quality and potential are apparent and strong, I will try to attract for you an agent or manager.  I will also develop a strategy to sell your work and will offer it to producers, a director or cast in order to position the material for acquisition by a financing entity such as a studio.  My fee for this is modest by industry standards, and it will depend on how much time I judge it will take to do my job.

Please let me know if this triggers any interest on your part.

Sincerely,
XX

I had a lot to say about it, mostly based on skepticism and suspicion from receiving letters of this nature in the past from “consultants” with questionable qualifications.

I then received this email from the same person.

“Dear Paul,

First I do want to tell you that my fee is $350, which is about the median for script consultants.  I feel that I would be giving you the benefit of my long years as a buyer at Universal and Paramount, offering more than just script notes but a strategy for selling your work.

One thing I can assure you is that I am honest.  When I say I will “try” to get you an agent or manager, this is what I will do.  For me to guarantee landing representation for you would be dishonest, simply because today these people just don’t read.  Yet I know enough of them going back many years, so I have been successful getting clients agents.  (MANAGER), by the way, does not manage writers, only actors.  As for the testimonials I’ve been at this for only a couple of years, and setting up movies is a long, long process.  Hence, clients only talk about my help with their screenplays.  You should know, however, that one of my clients is now being represented by the United Talent Agency and another has a screenplay currently being considered for financing by Warner Brothers.

I wanted to set the record straight with regard to my email to you and my website.

My best,
Peter”

I happily stand corrected.

So the consultant in question is Peter Saphier, and his website is saphiermediaadvisors.com.

I wrote back and told him how much I appreciated him following up with more details to reinforce his qualifications (he played a key role in getting JAWS made!), experience and what he can offer. I mentioned to him, like above, how there are a lot of scam artists out there more than eager to take advantage of naive writers.

So if you’re a writer who thinks their script is ready, contacting Peter might be something you’d want to consider.

Caveat emptor, baby

Maximum Z agent, AMPAS, analysis, consultant, contest, manager, production company, query letter, representation, screenwriting, writing
Step right up, friends! Have I got a deal for you!
Step right up, friends! Have I got a deal for you!

I knew going into this round of sending out query letters that my chances of success were slim at best (which could also be said about trying to establish a career in screenwriting in general).

No big results to report so far, but there’s been a very interesting development. One that all writers should pay attention to.

I’d sent the query out, and a few hours later received this email (details deleted so as to ensure privacy)

“Dear Paul,

My friend and business associate XX (the manager) forwarded to me your query (SCRIPT TITLE) in case you might be interested in my consulting service (website).  XX and I worked together (I as a studio executive at XX, XX as the producer) on the film XX, starring XX.  My service offers you my experience having worked with countless writers during my 35 years as a studio executive.  Here’s what I do:  I analyze what you have written – in this case your screenplay – from a creative standpoint to start with, and if I feel its quality and potential are apparent and strong, I will try to attract for you an agent or manager.  I will also develop a strategy to sell your work and will offer it to producers, a director or cast in order to position the material for acquisition by a financing entity such as a studio.  My fee for this is modest by industry standards, and it will depend on how much time I judge it will take to do my job.
Please let me know if this triggers any interest on your part.
Sincerely,
XX”

Trigger interest it does, but probably not how you intended.

There’s a lot in here that just feels…awkward, and maybe a little predatory?

-“I analyze what you have written from a creative standpoint“. Checking out this person’s IMDB page, not counting some current in-development TV work, their last credit was in 1998, and the rest were in the early 80s. Checking the website, their bio touts some high-profile work, including being a member of the Academy’s judging committee and “a high level evaluator of screenplays” for one of the top-tier contests. Giving them the benefit of the doubt on this one.

-“and if I feel its quality and potential are apparent and strong“. With opinions about scripts being so extremely subjective, this person could like something that nobody else does, and vice versa. And if the script still needs work, the website claims they’ll “assist in giving you creative direction.” I can kind of accept that.

-“I will try to attract for you an agent or manager.” Which is how this whole thing started. Is there any chance it might be the manager I originally sent to? Also note they will “try”, so it’s not guaranteed.

-“I will also develop a strategy to sell your work and will offer it to producers, a director or cast in order to position the material for acquisition by a financing entity such as a studio.” So…you’d put a package together? I’m still learning the business aspects, but this sounds like what an agent would do, which makes me wonder if you get a percentage. This comes across as very pie-in-the-sky, make-your-dreams-come-true.

I also noticed that all the testimonials on the website are all raves about this person’s help with each person’s script, but not one mention of anything beyond that. Nothing about somebody getting representation, selling a script, getting their script to the studio level, or being produced as a result of working with them. It would be nice to see something that goes beyond the script consulting phase.

-“My fee for this is modest by industry standards, and it will depend on how much time I judge it will take to do my job.” Since I’m not familiar with this aspect of the industry, what exactly does ‘modest’ mean? A few hundred? A thousand? No matter how much, it doesn’t sound cheap. Prices are only available via email. And what about this whole “depends on how much time I judge” part? What if it takes longer than expected? Doesn’t it always? Do I have to keep paying if nothing’s happening? And what if the whole thing falls through in the end?

For all I know, this person is totally legitimate and could be exactly what some writer out there needs. But to me, it just feels weird. You shouldn’t be paying for career help anyway. If your material’s good enough, they’ll find you and be willing to help.