Scenario: You’re at a social function, engaged in idle chit-chat. The topic of you being a screenwriter comes up.
“What’s your story about?” they will undoubtedly ask.
The chance you’ve been waiting for! What do you say?
You want to pique their curiosity, and not bore them.
In the simplest of terms: provide a quick summary of the main characters(s) and what happens in the main storyline.
Avoid too much information, non-essential characters, intricate subplots, how it’s a metaphor for this totally different other thing, or generic phrases like “and learns about themselves” or “stumbles into a world she wasn’t prepared for” or the ever-dreaded “wackiness ensues.”
What are the components of an effective logline? Just the following:
1. A protagonist with a flaw.
2. An antagonist with a goal.
3. The situation that pits them against each other
4. What’s at stake.
That’s pretty much it. Keep it simple. Nothing too specific or generic.
Make sure you emphasize the genre. If it’s a comedy, play up the comedic angle. A thriller, go for the suspense. That sort of thing.
And most importantly, make it sound interesting. This is your best chance to grab their attention, so make the most of it (and make sure the script is just as good).
-The rewrite continues. I’ve checked a few items off the list, but there are still some more that need my attention. I think it goes without saying that hopefully my manager will become even more confident in the script.
I’d love to speed through it all and just be done with it, but that’s probably the worst thing I could do. This is not something to rush, and I have to keep reminding myself of that. It’ll get done the right way.
-I’d also sent them my logline and 1-page synopsis for some further tinkering. The logline is apparently still a work in progress. They liked the 1-pager, but I’ve been asked to see what I can do to make it stronger, which includes incorporating more of the “mystery and whimsy so prevalent in the script.”
Going for the silver lining angle, I’m seeing this as an opportunity to really go all out and play up the sheer adventurousness of the whole thing. Time to let out my inner pulp novelist.
-I received feedback on the script from a well-known screenwriting guru. I hold his opinion in very high regard.
But if you took out all of his flowery speech about the writing process, the cliches and assorted material you just know he’s used on many others many times before, you’d be left with just a few sentences of constructive advice.
But he liked it, which is nice.
-A few months ago, I had the good fortune to connect with Barri Evans. She’s been very supportive, so the least I can do is plug her upcoming seminar in Emeryville (across the Bay, next to Berkeley, home of Pixar). She does them all over the country, but this one’s local. I won’t be able to attend, but if you can and want to make some good progress with your writing, it’s definitely something you should consider. Sorry – no discount for mentioning me or this blog, although that would be pretty cool.
-Just a few words about yesterday’s tragedy at the Boston Marathon. As someone who takes part in these kinds of races, and has seen my family waiting for me at the finish line, this hit me especially hard. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering of the victims, and can only hope that something like it never happens again.
Fear of such a tragedy will probably always be somewhere on the minds of runners of future races, but the best we can do is stay strong and keep running.
Work on the outline revamp is temporarily on hold while I divert my attention to something equally, if not more important – the logline.
This thing has been through countless revisions, and the last time I had rewritten it, it seemed…okay.
Not so.
It was too wordy, and didn’t sum up the story the way it needed to. So back to the interwebs I went for guidance.
There are lots of opinions about what constitutes a good logline, but the general consensus is that it should include the hero, the hero’s goal, what’s at stake, and the antagonist. Some suggest adding the ‘ticking clock’ factor, but that could make it unnecessarily longer. Use at your discretion.
The logline should also convey what sort of story this is going to be. If it’s a comedy, it should sound funny. An adventure should sound exciting. You get the idea. Let them know what they’re in for.
The logline should pique their interest so much that they can’t resist wanting to read the script.
Sometimes a writer will include some kind of vague generalization, or a phrase that evokes emotion, such as “…and learns about himself in the process.” Personally, I don’t care for those. It’s like the writer doesn’t trust the story enough to interest you, so they throw that in. The items listed above should be enough.
Since I’m always open to feedback on anything I work on, feel free to take a look at my assorted loglines (right there under the ‘Scripts’ tag up top) and give me your two cents. Do they work? How could they be improved? Don’t be shy. I’m happy to do the same for you.
-The screenwriting blogs have been very busy the past couple of days with this whole “Emily Blake vs Carson Reeves/Scriptshadow” conflict. I’ve been an avid follower of both, and think it’s a shame it’s come to this.
Scriptshadow is a great resource for learning the craft, but if this is something I’m spending an exorbitant amount of time and effort on, then I want to the one responsible for reaching that goal. And $1000 is WAY TOO MUCH to charge for notes. I had to make sure I could afford this before I submitted. (Incidentally – definitely worth it)
My original plan was to submit DREAMSHIP to SS and see if anything happened. But now I’m not sure I want to. I’ve been pretty good about working on my own, and I’ll probably stick with it.
I’m also planning on following Emily’s lead and subscribing to Done Deal Pro. $24 a year is a pretty good deal, and probably worth my time.
Sometimes I do things that are counterproductive. Almost even stupid in their execution. Practically on a level of “what the hell was I thinking?” And apparently I’ve done it again.
I went to the internet seeking somebody’s opinion on my work. Yeah, I know.
I posted my logline on a few message boards, curious to know if it works. Some comments have been positive, while others… Let’s not call them negative, but there does seem to be a strong critical-without-guidance vibe. Do some of them realize they’re coming across as snobbish?
It’s also important to remember that these are public forums, which means the public is responding, which means there are varying degrees of experience out there. Probably some with even less than me, of which I suspect there are more than a few. Curious to know if any of them are actual working screenwriters.
Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate every single comment (albeit to a certain degree), but don’t like feeling like I have to keep changing my stuff to make them happy. I also have to remind myself it’s my script, and it ultimately comes down to what I think works best.
And at this point, it’s probably time to stop using the message boards as much and start seeking professional feedback. Guidance from somebody with actual industry experience seems like it would be a little more reliable.
*side note – it’s fascinating to see how people interpret what they read. Some of the revamped loglines focus on key words and take a sharp turn from there.
-Movie of the Moment: It’s been a while, but I’ve seen three new releases in the past week.
BRAVE – beautiful to look at, but haven’t we heard this story before? I was really expecting something a little more different from the folks across the Bay in Emeryville, although the bear subplot was unexpected.
MADAGASCAR 3 – surprisingly funnier than I thought it would be. Especially nice how they wove subplot threads throughout and wrapped them all up in the end.
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN – okay, but not as fun as THE AVENGERS, but I did like the Spidey POV shots while he’s swinging around New York. Also impressed with how they made the Lizard an actual formidable bad guy, but really felt they could have done more with it. No great desire to see it again or own it. Hope they use Raimi’s Spidey #2 as a guide in terms of fun and quality for the sequel, but please: stop taking off the mask, and NO VENOM.
Regarding THE DARK KNIGHT RISES: the trailers are doing a phenomenal job in increasing my desire to see this. I may even be so bold as to consider seeing it in IMAX.
It’s amazing how productive you can be while working at 30,000 feet. K and I flew across the country to spend some time with her family (as well as pick up a somewhat homesick V). Since the movie going each way didn’t interest me, I took the opportunity to go through the latest rewrite and look for further necessary edits. Of which there were more than a few.
I’ve since made all the changes, save one: a handful of sentences describing a location. At first this may sound pretty unimportant, but it’s actually quite the opposite. Without going into too much detail, this description is for one of two key settings in the whole story. The other one – exactly what it should be, so now I need one just as good, if not better, for this. What I have now is just cliched and boring. Time to buckle down and come up with something exactly spot-on.
It’ll be an uphill battle, but I’ll find it. Trust me.
-During our stay, lots of downtime and limited internet access gave me the chance to start figuring Act Three of the western-adventure.
I’d completely forgotten some of the details in the first outline from a few months ago. Some of them still work (surprisingly so), which was an unexpected surprise, but others will have to go, which was completely expected. Further proof that after you write something, you really should ignore it for a while.
Reworking this may be a slightly bigger task than originally expected, which I don’t mind at all. It’s also a golden opportunity. First I come up with what I want to happen, then get to figure out how to make it bigger. Fun stuff indeed, and I do not mean that sarcastically.
-I took it upon myself to further my jump into making all of this happen by signing up for IMDBPro. Time to start researching who would be receptive to reading my stuff. Last time around, I went through a hard copy of the HCD, highlighting any agency and management company that was okay with unsolicited query emails. Not sure if that’s the way to go now. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
Maximum Z 