Dreamship

Say when

Maximum Z analysis, Dreamship, Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting, ScriptQuack

Rain has returned to the Bay Area, which means another 4:30 to noon day for yours truly, followed by an appointment in the afternoon, which means no physical work on LUCY.

Mental work, though, is another issue.

I printed out the outline pages I have so far, and realized something I haven’t noticed in a while: I have a lot going on in this story. And when I say a lot, I mean Faulkner-on-a-roll lot.

There will be lots of editing when I reach the end, but I have to stop myself from doing it now. It probably doesn’t help that I keep putting more stuff in and expanding and creating more storylines. Just trying to tie it all together. Honest.

It’s getting more complicated, despite my efforts to have that not happen. I know I’ve mentioned the number of scenes per section of Act Two, and it’s still too high.

I look at well-done action films (DIE HARD, RAIDERS) and there is no fat to those stories. Everything serves a purpose AND moves the story forward. Me, I got too much fat in mine. It slows things down.

I need to start swinging my metaphoric editor’s butcher knife and trim a lot of it away.

-Just a quick plug for script analysis service Script Quack, listed just over there on the right in the blogroll section.  I used them last year for DREAMSHIP and they came through with some fantastic feedback.  My original plan was to take their very thorough notes and do a rewrite for this year’s Nicholl.  Probably won’t happen due to all my work on LUCY, but definitely for next year.

While some places charge $200 and up for basic notes, Script Quack was only $99, which is a real bargain.  I highly recommend them, and I don’t get anything in return for doing so.  So there.

Not so fast, mental block!

Maximum Z Back to the Future, blog, characters, Dreamship, outlines, screenwriting, ScriptQuack, story

Once again, my productivity levels go up when I’m supposed to be doing something else.

This time it was V’s hockey practice.  While my incredible child was working on stopping shots in goal, I sat in the stands with pen and paper, determined to get through the latest bout of writer’s block.

I think I’m on my way.

I managed to come up with an exciting end to a scene that originally seemed kind of boring.  I came up with a better way to introduce the infamous bounty hunter much earlier in the story; this also necessitates and hastens the inevitable rewriting of Act One.  Which is okay.

But I worry the focus on the main character is being drawn away by the ever-developing subplots.  Granted, some of the short scenes I was coming up with are very, very short, but it’s really important that the reader/viewer is always thinking “Will Lucy succeed?”, and especially when she’s NOT in the scene.  (Case in point: I think there’s one or two scenes in Back to the Future WITHOUT Marty McFly.)

So for now, I keep plugging away.  I’m hoping to get to the midpoint by the end of the year.  There are a few weekend shifts as part of that, so that will definitely help.

-A very big thanks to everybody who took a look at this blog over the past few days.  I had a whopping 19 (most ever!) people visit on Wednesday, and that’s a lot.  I hope you’re getting as much enjoyment out of reading this as I do in writing it.

And as always, comments and questions are highly encouraged.

-I haven’t had a chance to start reading my Black List scripts yet.  That may fall under that weekend category as well.  Either GANGSTER SQUAD or THE 13TH MAN will be first.

-While work on LUCY is chugging along (ooh, a train reference!), I keep forgetting I have these great notes on DREAMSHIP from the fine folks at www.scriptquack.com (highly recommended, but I don’t think they’ve put up my testimonial yet).  I’d really like to enter it in next year’s Nicholl, so I gotta get my ass in gear and get to work.  Looks like I may have to go the Stephen King route and work on each one on alternating days.

That’s right.  This never ends.

Well, dog my cats!

Maximum Z analysis, Dreamship, screenwriting, ScriptQuack

About a month ago, I got an email telling me that the company known as Script Quack was following me on Twitter.  They do script analysis.  So no big deal.

A week after that, they posted a general tweet saying the price for the basic analysis package was reduced from $75 to $50.  Interesting.  Maybe this would benefit DREAMSHIP.  But there’s that cost thing.

Would it really be worth the money?  I’ve never had this done before, but I really like the script and want to know how to make it better.

I decided to bite the bullet and do it.  Hope the $50 is worth it.

The days go by.  I hear nothing back after a few days.

More days pass.  It’s approaching the one week mark.  I start to fear I have been taken by a con artist.  I even dream the end product came in the mail and was sitting on the dining room table (which it wasn’t).

Saturday comes and goes.  Still nothing.  I’m not feeling very positive about this.  I decide to wait until Wednesday to drop them a line.

Just to verify their legitimacy, I go to their website.  There on the homepage is the disclaimer “Get your notes back in under a week or they’re free!’

That’s interesting.

Sunday.  We’re getting ready to go to the airport to pick up K.

My phone DINGS!  New email.

And there are the notes.  Legitimacy verified.  I skim the opening.  They seem very enthusiastic about the script, which is nice.  I stop there, since we have to leave in a few minutes, and write back to them saying I haven’t looked at the notes yet, but gently bring up their disclaimer.  I run a worst-cast scenario where they try to weasel out of the deal.

A few hours later, I get an email saying I am right, that it took 8 days, I’m entitled to my refund, and I get to keep the notes.

And it ended up being free!

Even better, this is the start of a blueprint for a new draft of DREAMSHIP that, if done properly, could be sent back to the Nicholl next year.

Cool.

Epilogue:  I look at the notes.  Very detailed and helpful, even though they got the villain’s name wrong.  I printed them out for further study.

What’s really cool is that I can work on this and keep going on developing LUCY.  I may even be able to take lessons learned on the former and apply them to the latter.

Really cool indeed.

Movie of the Moment:  Not necessarily right now, but I watched IKIRU and FORT APACHE over the weekend.

IKIRU started out slow, but got very interesting as it moved along.  I was very surprised at some of the subject matter being discussed, especially for when it was set.  You’d never hear the word ‘diarrhea’ in an American film from the 50’s!

FORT APACHE was a typical John Ford western.  Henry Fonda did a good job, though.  John Wayne still had the swagger, albeit turned down.  But once you see a modern-era western (OPEN RANGE, DEADWOOD, etc), it’s hard to look at these and not think ‘why is everything so clean?’ and ‘why isn’t anybody swearing up a storm?’  A bit predictable, but still fun.