movies

From one grind to another

Maximum Z characters, Man of the Century, Movie of the Moment, plot, screenwriting, story, writing gigs
Yeah. Something like that.

And I’m back. My script rewrite is now in the past tense.

Maybe not an out-and-out rewrite per se, but taking a script and reformatting it into script form.  My instructions were to work my magic on the action lines and leave the dialogue alone. Mea culpa – I tinkered with some of that too.

I’ll start off by saying the idea behind the story was good, and there were faint glimmers of potential, but I had lots of problems with the execution.  I don’t know if this was a first draft, but it sure looked and read like one.

-Huge blocks of text in both the wide margins and the dialogue.

-Starting a scene in one room, then having it go to one, two or more locations, without starting a new scene

-Not giving the reader any idea who the main character is, nor establishing what was at stake, if anything.

-Characters who disappear for long stretches of time.

-Tons of unnecessary and unfilmable details.

-Story details that come out of nowhere based on nothing the reader has already read.

-Dialogue that’s pure exposition.  Sometimes repeated several times in several different scenes.

-Scenes without any conflict, or at least nothing to move the story forward, that drag on and on.

-Characters saying each other’s names over and over and over again in each scene.

-Using the same verbs and adjectives throughout the whole thing.

The whole time I was working on this, there were quite a lot of times I couldn’t help but roll my eyes in disbelief.  But the main point is: I’m done with it.

The Nicholl deadline is next week.  No way am I going to make it.  I figure I can work on the DREAMSHIP rewrite, then pump out a first draft of LUCY.

Movie of the Moment: MAN OF THE CENTURY.  A fun, small independent film from ’99 about a man who lives in then-modern NYC as if it were the 1920s. I’d heard about it when it was originally released, which was for about a week in the arthouse circuit.  If you get a kick out of the early days of talkies, or at least the dialogue, then you’ll enjoy this.  Only complaint – they never explain why the guy is like this.

Turns out the star and director also wrote it.  They must have spent a lot of time researching the slang and catchphrases of the day, because they’re prevalent throughout the whole thing.

I was also impressed with how they had about eight different storylines each tie up nice and clean in the last five minutes.

I’d love to know how they got Frank Gorshin involved.  I thought he was in it for a cameo, but he was one of the subplots.

-I got to read a phenomenal action script yesterday.  It was fast-moving, exciting and just a blast to read.  It’s what I hope LUCY can be like.

Yay for me

Maximum Z Godzilla, Movie of the Moment, screenwriting, Thor, writing gigs

I finally heard back from the person needing help rewriting their script.  Yep.  I gots me a writin’ project.  Technically, a rewrite, but work’s work.

I’m still having trouble with the directive to fix what needs fixing in the wide margins and leaving the dialogue alone. I’m also to leave in certain descriptions so they serve as a reminder of what the scene is supposed to look like.

But you’re the director! Shouldn’t you already know that?  I try to keep the descriptions as condensed as possible.

Oh well. Nothing else to do but forge ahead.  Based on what I’ve read so far, I’m steeling myself against the strong possibility of working on a poorly-written script.  At least before I get my hands on it.

After I filled out my part of the agreement and sent it back, I realized this is the same person I dealt with last fall who was looking for someone to write a 120-page Bollywood script.  That crashed and burned for me before I even got started. Wonder if it eventually worked out?

-Didn’t realize it’s been a while since the last Movie of the Moment. Nothing so far – been too busy, but hopefully soon.

-V wants to see THOR, but it’s PG-13.  I have no problem taking her, but K says it may be rated that because some parts may be too intense, especially for V.  V says she wouldn’t be scared, but when somebody whimpers and buries her face against your chest during her very first glimpse of Godzilla popping his head over the Japanese countryside, it kind of makes you re-evaluate the situation.

Ain’t lookin’ good

Maximum Z Dreamship, Movie of the Moment, screenwriting, The Walking Dead, writing group

The good news is I may have stumbled onto a great new angle for DREAMSHIP. The bad news is Act Two will most likely have to be completely rewritten, which will put the proverbial kibosh on getting it done in time for the Nicholl.  It’s possible I could get it done, but I’d rather take my time.

On one hand, I like how the story seems much, much stronger now. There are also a lot more possibilities regarding what could happen.  Those notes are proving very helpful.

But on the other hand, it would have been nice to get it done by May 2nd.  Ah well.  There’s always next year.

-Finally heard back from the lady who runs the writing group.  She does a lot of freelance work, so hasn’t done any writing since February. She wants to contact the rest of the group at the end of April(!) and suggest two potential dates in May(!!) to meet.  Since I’m still a newer member of the group, I don’t want to make any trouble by telling her that’s a terrible way to approach this.  Which it is.

Exactly what’s the problem with setting a definitive time and see who shows up?  Fortunately, I can still meet with my fellow former-groupmember and we can discuss our stuff.

Another member of the group appears to have moved back to LA, or is at least housesitting there through June.  She seems to be a very fast writer, mentioning that she finished and polished a werewolf script after our last meeting (which may have been in February).

I admire someone who can really crank them out like that.  I can’t, but I also don’t think her life is similar to mine (married with children), so maybe she has more free time to write.  I find it when I can.

Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not.  But I still enjoy it.

-No Movie of the Moment tonight, but I’m almost done with Season One of WALKING DEAD.  Still loving it.  Great storytelling.

That’s something, I guess

Maximum Z Dreamship, Movie of the Moment, Nicholl Fellowship, outlines, screenwriting, zombies

As I’ve mentioned before, when I do the midday traffic shift, it usually results in some good output.  Something like that happened today.

I’m working my way through the first part of DREAMSHIP’s second act, and was trying to figure out how to approach a sequence from a different perspective. I think I may have reached a solution, so that’s good.

Not so good is a problem just like the one I was having while working on the LUCY outline: what does my antagonist want?  My ScriptQuack comments ask the same thing.  I thought I had an answer to that in previous drafts, but now I’m not so sure.  Once I can figure that out, putting more of this together should be easier – I hope.

I’m doing the midday again tomorrow, and the noon-to-6 shift on Saturday, so here’s hoping those are productive shifts as well.

Movie of the Moment: We started watching THE WALKING DEAD.  Wow.  Great stuff.  I especially like the ever-present feeling of ominous dread.  I’m dating myself, but I like how this is the same station that years ago played nothing but black and white films and their first original series was set in Pittsburgh during the Golden Age of Radio.  My, how times have changed.

There was a trailer for some set-in-space video game or something before it got to the menu page.  It got me thinking: somewhere out there has to be a spec script about zombies in space.  Think about it.  They don’t need air, but that whole vacuum-of-space thing might need a little planning.  The hard part would be to avoid having it come across as too cheesy.

But then again, that could be part of the fun.

First step up the mountain

Maximum Z comic books, Dreamship, Filmsack.com, Movie of the Moment, screenwriting, ScriptQuack, Wondercon

I finally read through my DREAMSHIP notes from the fine folks at ScriptQuack.  Very impressive.  They did a great job of letting me know what the script needs to improve.

So with just under a month to go before the Nicholl deadline, I’m taking their suggestions and trying to rebuild this thing from the ground up.  I had a feeling it may be an extensive rewrite, and I was right.  There’s a lot that has to change.

It’s not insurmountable, but I will call it formidable.  This is really going to require a daily effort.  I think I can get through Act One by the end of this week, then really concentrate on Act Two, where most of the rewriting is necessary.  Act Three I’m still figuring out.

-Final comment on Wondercon.  Fun as usual.  I got to see it from both the Dad and Casual Comic Geek perspectives.  For the former, that involved stopping at all the video game booths, looking for Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and commenting on anything and everything V saw.  Since we went on Friday, it wasn’t that crowded. Overall, a good time.

I returned Sunday with my pal Neil. We usually spend less time among the vendors and focus more on the self-publishers and independents. They’re always more interesting anyway.  I may not be crazy about some of the subject matter, but there’s a certain charm to them and their work. It’s really great to see somebody doing what they love, and a lot of them have a lot of talent.

Even better, you don’t have to wait for hours on end to get an autograph or tell them you like their stuff, and they seem happy to talk to you.  I’ve always tried to support the little guy.

Movie of the Moment:  We watched THE EXPENDABLES last night. Mega-cheesy throwback to the 80s.  Stallone wrote and directed it.  From a writer’s perspective, it could have used a few more rewrites.

I was expecting it to be more mission-centric, but it just dragged and took forever to get to the interesting parts.  K said this would be a perfect Filmsack movie.  I agree.

Tonight we started RED. SO much better.  But it’s Warren Ellis, so I’d expect nothing less.