As part of the ongoing rewrite of the animated fantasy-comedy, there have been more than a few suggestions to come up with a title of stronger significance and impact. While I struggle with that latest wrinkle, here’s a post from waaaay back in February of 2013 about the same situation with an earlier script. I eventually did come up with one, and am confident I can do the same this time around.
In the meantime, enjoy this blast from the past.
*the original title George Lucas had for STAR WARS. Not as good, right?
After reading countless spec titles in places such as The Black List and Done Deal Pro, I’ve come to the conclusion that my script really needs to undergo a name change.
DREAMSHIP
It sort of just…sits there, when instead it should be grabbing your attention and making you think, “Cool! I’ve gotta see this!”
Examples: BACK TO THE FUTURE. CHINATOWN. DIE HARD. See what I mean? Solid. Succinct. To the point.
I may go back to the original title – THE AMAZING DREAMSHIP ADVENTURE. It feels like it does a better job of conveying what the story’s about and what kind of ride you’re in for, but I wouldn’t put it past me to try and tweak it a little more.
It was also suggested that since this is more of a family-oriented kind of story, I should go the HARRY POTTER route and include the main character’s name. I’m not sure how I feel about that.
Having a good, strong title is key because it and the logline create the first impression. Do an effective job with that and you’ve got their attention. Just make sure the script/story can hold onto it.
In the past week and a half, I’ve had a pair of Zoom calls with writing colleagues – the first to discuss ideas for my action-comedy spec, and the second to review their potential fixes for the animated fantasy-comedy. Additionally, one friend did some pro coverage on the animated script, and another friend sent a video of their page-by-page analysis for it.
I can’t begin to describe how beneficial all of these were in making me feel more confident about each project.
I’d been feeling stuck regarding the story of the action-comedy, so talking through it with somebody helped fit a few more puzzle pieces into place. Also great – they love the concept of the story and think it has a lot of potential.
Still quite a ways to go on it, but every little bit helps.
As for the animated script, the general consensus was that a lot of it is solid, but a few areas could use a little adjusting that would all go a long way in improving it. Even better – these are not major changes, so although they’re still challenging, they’re not insurmountable. Just requires a little more effort on my part.
Another bonus was that all three had very positive and encouraging things to say about the script itself, and felt these changes would help take it to the next level. I’ve set a deadline to have a completed draft by the end of the year, but hoping it’s closer to the end of October. Either way, seems doable.
Like I said – feeling really good about both projects. And I definitely would not have gotten to this point if I hadn’t reached out and asked for this kind of feedback.
Your network of writers is one of the most underrated but also most valuable resources you have. Notes, encouragement, connections, just to name a few. I love helping out when I can, and I know that many times the feeling is mutual.
Even though I’ve gone through A LOT of drafts for the animated script, it wouldn’t be what it is today without the feedback from many of the writers I know. Any future success it could potentially yield will be due in no small part to what other writers had to say about it.
More notes of exceptional quality have come in on the animated fantasy-comedy, so opting to do a little more work on it.
Going into this one being open to the suggestions, but not saying “yes” to everything.
I really want to make this one as solid as it can be, and it definitely feels like it’s getting there. The end goal is to have it ready for next year’s early bird deadlines.
It’s also a good thing to work on this because I’d been feeling a bit stuck on the story of the new spec, so a little time away may be just what I need.
The past few days have been the standard rollercoaster. Some good stuff, some not-so-good stuff, with a small percentage of the latter being very not-so-good.
But there were a few glimmers of hope within the darkness. More on those as/if they develop. Any positive vibes and crossed fingers are always appreciated.
During this time I was reminded of the phrase “Don’t worry about things over which you have no control.” I took that to heart, and it’s really helped.
There are SO MANY things about screenwriting that are out of our hands. Stressing out about them doesn’t do us any good, and I’d much rather work on the things over which I DO have control.
Things like figuring out the story of my new spec, coordinating with guests for my podcast, getting the crowdfunding ready for my short film, reading friends’ scripts and giving notes.
(Two little things that have really paid off – a few minutes here and there to interact with other writers on social media or email, and maintaining a “What needs to get done today” checklist.)
Taking care of any of these helps me feel productive and less stressed because I AM GETTING STUFF DONE. Some of it may take longer than hoped or expected, but each one constitutes a step in the right direction. Even just writing about it helps.
If you feel this way, just remember that you’re not alone and there are always things that you can do to help make your screenwriting journey a little easier.
Nice to see you again. Mind if I ask you something?
In June, there was an event on Twitter (I’m not calling it the other thing) called ScreenPit, where writers listed the loglines for their scripts in the hopes of garnering interest. Trust me when I say there were A LOT of scripts listed. Some I’d read before, some I’d heard of, and most that were new to me.
If something caught my eye – the title, the logline, the concept, I’d reach out and ask the writer if I could read it.
Nobody said no, and they were all thrilled to be asked.Some even asked to read my stuff.
This whole experience reminded me of a post from Dec 2016. Enjoy.
Sometime last week, I received a very nice compliment via on online forum regarding the quality of the script notes I give. A mutual associate of ours chimed in with the grumbly “Well, he never does it for me.”
To which I responded “Because you never ask.”
I don’t know what this writer’s standard M.O. is for getting notes, but from what I can gather, usually involves them posting “Anybody want to read my stuff?”
There’s nothing wrong with that, but the drawback is you run the risk of getting feedback from somebody with less experience than you, or worse, has no idea what they’re talking about.
This is why networking and establishing relationships with other writers is so important. If someone posted a generic request for a read, I’d be less inclined to respond. Even if I knew the person. I figure they’ll probably get a few other responses, so why bother?
But if someone came to me specifically and said “If you have the time, would you be able to read this?”, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. This shows me that they value my experience and opinions, along with respecting that I can’t simply drop everything to accommodate them. They’ll also include an offer to read something of mine, if I’m interested.
Sometimes I’ll get an email asking me for a read, and it might be because of any number of reasons. They’ve read my stuff before and think this new script is similar. They know I have an eye for fill-in-the-blank. All of this could only have come from myself and this other writer having already established a good professional relationship.
While I always encourage writers to get out there and network, it’s also important to build on those connections once you’ve got them. You don’t have to become somebody’s best friend, but being supportive or offering the occasional words of encouragement really go a long way. Plus, people are much more likely to remember that sort of thing, adding to the likelihood they’d be willing to help you out.
More than often I’ve read about another writer’s projects and introduce myself, tell them how I found them (usually via the forums) and of my interest in the script in question, then ask if they’re cool with me taking a look at it. It’s a rare occurrence when someone says no.
Both of you are writers constantly striving to improve, and some good, solid feedback can play a big part in that. And that can be best achieved by getting to know other writers and treating with the same respect you’d expect to be treated with yourself.
-Like I wrote about a few weeks ago, the 9-week summer session of Kaia Alexander’s Entertainment Business School begins on August 5th. This weekend is your last opportunity to sign up and have access to the wealth of info, advice, and guidance about the business of show that Kaia has to offer. And if you use the code PZ50S24, you’ll get $50 off the enrollment fee. Kaia really knows her stuff, so if you’re serious about wanting to learn more about having a career in screenwriting or TV, her course is a great place to start.
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