screenwriting

From one grind to another

Maximum Z characters, Man of the Century, Movie of the Moment, plot, screenwriting, story, writing gigs
Yeah. Something like that.

And I’m back. My script rewrite is now in the past tense.

Maybe not an out-and-out rewrite per se, but taking a script and reformatting it into script form.  My instructions were to work my magic on the action lines and leave the dialogue alone. Mea culpa – I tinkered with some of that too.

I’ll start off by saying the idea behind the story was good, and there were faint glimmers of potential, but I had lots of problems with the execution.  I don’t know if this was a first draft, but it sure looked and read like one.

-Huge blocks of text in both the wide margins and the dialogue.

-Starting a scene in one room, then having it go to one, two or more locations, without starting a new scene

-Not giving the reader any idea who the main character is, nor establishing what was at stake, if anything.

-Characters who disappear for long stretches of time.

-Tons of unnecessary and unfilmable details.

-Story details that come out of nowhere based on nothing the reader has already read.

-Dialogue that’s pure exposition.  Sometimes repeated several times in several different scenes.

-Scenes without any conflict, or at least nothing to move the story forward, that drag on and on.

-Characters saying each other’s names over and over and over again in each scene.

-Using the same verbs and adjectives throughout the whole thing.

The whole time I was working on this, there were quite a lot of times I couldn’t help but roll my eyes in disbelief.  But the main point is: I’m done with it.

The Nicholl deadline is next week.  No way am I going to make it.  I figure I can work on the DREAMSHIP rewrite, then pump out a first draft of LUCY.

Movie of the Moment: MAN OF THE CENTURY.  A fun, small independent film from ’99 about a man who lives in then-modern NYC as if it were the 1920s. I’d heard about it when it was originally released, which was for about a week in the arthouse circuit.  If you get a kick out of the early days of talkies, or at least the dialogue, then you’ll enjoy this.  Only complaint – they never explain why the guy is like this.

Turns out the star and director also wrote it.  They must have spent a lot of time researching the slang and catchphrases of the day, because they’re prevalent throughout the whole thing.

I was also impressed with how they had about eight different storylines each tie up nice and clean in the last five minutes.

I’d love to know how they got Frank Gorshin involved.  I thought he was in it for a cameo, but he was one of the subplots.

-I got to read a phenomenal action script yesterday.  It was fast-moving, exciting and just a blast to read.  It’s what I hope LUCY can be like.

Gag in effect

Maximum Z screenwriting, writing gigs

And not the funny kind.

I’ve been out of circulation for the past few days because I’ve been slaving away on reformatting a Word document into an actual script.  I finished a day ahead of schedule, so now I’m waiting to hear back from this person to see if they want any more changes.

I’m forcing myself to refrain from making any comments about the original material until everything is completely over and done with.

And that hasn’t been easy.

Yay for me

Maximum Z Godzilla, Movie of the Moment, screenwriting, Thor, writing gigs

I finally heard back from the person needing help rewriting their script.  Yep.  I gots me a writin’ project.  Technically, a rewrite, but work’s work.

I’m still having trouble with the directive to fix what needs fixing in the wide margins and leaving the dialogue alone. I’m also to leave in certain descriptions so they serve as a reminder of what the scene is supposed to look like.

But you’re the director! Shouldn’t you already know that?  I try to keep the descriptions as condensed as possible.

Oh well. Nothing else to do but forge ahead.  Based on what I’ve read so far, I’m steeling myself against the strong possibility of working on a poorly-written script.  At least before I get my hands on it.

After I filled out my part of the agreement and sent it back, I realized this is the same person I dealt with last fall who was looking for someone to write a 120-page Bollywood script.  That crashed and burned for me before I even got started. Wonder if it eventually worked out?

-Didn’t realize it’s been a while since the last Movie of the Moment. Nothing so far – been too busy, but hopefully soon.

-V wants to see THOR, but it’s PG-13.  I have no problem taking her, but K says it may be rated that because some parts may be too intense, especially for V.  V says she wouldn’t be scared, but when somebody whimpers and buries her face against your chest during her very first glimpse of Godzilla popping his head over the Japanese countryside, it kind of makes you re-evaluate the situation.

I think I’d make a good hyphen

Maximum Z directing, screenwriting, writing gigs
The under-appreciated Preston Sturges

I heard back from the person looking for help with their script. They’ve made two shorts and now want to expand into something a bit longer.

They sent 6 pages for me to work on the wide margin material with the instruction to leave the dialogue alone.

Suffice to say, there was a lot I could take out with no impact whatsoever and the editor in me couldn’t help but work on some of the dialogue.

What was surprising was the large amount of Screenwriting 101 mistakes: Telling the reader how somebody feels. Capitalizing a character’s name almost every time they appear in a scene. Repetitive and on-the-nose dialogue.

I have no idea how much formal training this person has had, or even if they went to film school, but this is the second director I’ve dealt with who is woefully misinformed about how to write a script. Shouldn’t that be necessary anyway?

For example, there was way too much information in the set-up for each scene.  I don’t need to know in extensive detail how exquisitely beautiful this summer day in the countryside is. One sentence will suffice.

Years ago, I attended a few seminars by Richard Walter of UCLA’s Screenwriting Department.  Among his many gems of wisdom was “Write as if ink cost $1000 an ounce.”  Every writer should post that above their workspace and consult it daily.  The more white on the page, the better.

The more I look at scripts written by directors (and there are some good ones out there), I can’t help but wonder “Could I do that?” Granted, I don’t know the first thing about setting up a shot, or what the proper lighting should be in a particular setting, but sometimes when I’m watching a ‘major motion picture’ and I get bored with how the story’s developing, I start paying attention to what the camera’s doing. Did they film this scene from this angle, and then from a different one, and then put them together in editing?  How did they manage that shot?

Once I’m able to get things going with the writing, I wonder if anybody will ask “So would you want to eventually direct?” Right now, no.

But down the road? Maybe.

Does whatever a spider can

Maximum Z comic books, Kick-Ass, screenwriting, Spider-Man, Wondercon

I’m trying to figure out a couple of major story details on DREAMSHIP, so the rewrite is on hold.  No way this thing will be done for the Nicholl, which I’ve come to terms with.  But the way things are developing now, this is going to be all kinds of awesome.

So while the creative side of my brain works things out, the analytic side has also been busy.

Like writers are supposed to, I try to read as much as I can. Granted, most of my most recent stuff has been comics-related, partially due to going to WonderCon a few weeks ago.

Since money isn’t exactly free-flowing, I splurged and spent $20 for the hardcover edition of KICK-ASS. I saw the movie when it was in theatres, and enjoyed it. Not a lot, but just enough. I knew it wouldn’t be a huge hit. The target audience was too small, and comic nerds are notoriously picky.

But the book itself is great.  The story for the most part is the same, but a few of the subplots are completely different, which actually works in its favor.  For example, in the movie, Dave hooks up with the girl. Not here.  And most likely to placate Nicolas Cage, Big Daddy’s part in the movie is much bigger, which also works.

Basically, I have no problem reading the book again, but not much desire to see the movie again.

The first issue of the second miniseries, KICK-ASS: BALLS TO THE WALL, was available at WC, but I’m opting to wait until the whole thing’s collected in a book again.

I’m more a DC guy than Marvel, but a few years ago, I picked up the first two volumes of THE ESSENTIAL SPIDER-MAN, which are basically small phone book-sized tomes reprinting approximately 20-some issues of said title in black and white.  And this one company is always selling them for half price, which is usually about eight bucks a book, which is a bargain.

I’d seen reprints of the first issue, and introductions of some of the classic villains in reprints and on TV, but this was my first chance to really take a look at the original source material.  Only drawback – no color. But still…

Stan Lee and Steve Ditko caught lightning in a bottle.  Once you get past some of the corny dialogue, the stories overall are a thrill to read.  The first issues have a raw quality, both in terms of character and execution.  But everything slowly becomes more refined as the issues progress.  Especially the art, but more on that in a second.

Lee seems to live for hyperbole, but in a weird way it really fits here.  The combination of Peter’s everyday life and Spidey’s adventures mesh really well (but the Peter-lamenting-the-hard-life-of-being-a-superhero routine does get a little repetitive after a while.).  It would be great to know how much planning went into character development before the writing and art were combined.

I’d also add that Spidey’s rogues gallery is definitely one of the best, comparable only to Batman’s. The Green Goblin (always one my faves), Doctor Octopus, the Sandman, Kraven the Hunter. Each one original and unique.

I read somewhere that Steve Ditko said a hero’s costume should have some kind of true uniqueness so you can always recognize who it is, no matter how small a part of the costume you see.  Definitely holds true for Spidey.

I wouldn’t call it a problem, but Ditko’s art in those first issues is almost too hard to take.  It seems almost rough and unrefined, but gets better and more details as it goes along.  It’s a world of difference between those issues from the mid-sixties and the smooth lines of John Romita into the early seventies.

When I was in college, people would often ask why I read comics. My standard answer was pretty simple: it’s good storytelling.

Screenwriting is kind of similar. I’m creating a totally unique and original world, just in a different medium. And having a blast in the process.