screenwriting

Stop thinking and write!

Maximum Z animation, computer, editing, Movie of the Moment, outlines, rewrite, screenwriting, story
proof that a script is like a blueprint; everything has to fit perfectly

A very interesting thing happened during the first scene of the rewrite of the second half of DREAMSHIP.  I got about halfway through when I realized my hero was just sitting there, doing nothing.  And that ain’t right!  He’s supposed to be the one driving the action, pushing the story ahead.  Fortunately, it’s easily fixed.  But it got me thinking.

Since finishing the first half rewrite, I’m more careful going into each scene.  You could even call it overthinking. Does this scene advance the story, theme and character? (A cardinal but often-ignored rule for screenwriting)  Does it follow the one before it and lead to the one after it?  If I take it out, will it impact the rest of the story?  I also realize taking the time to analyze each scene with such intense scrutiny will slow me down.  The feeling of getting stuff done will vanish.

In some ways, just storming ahead seems like a great way to go.  But then there’s the whole issue of going back and fixing things.  But if I apply the proverbial fine-tooth comb, then it won’t be fun.  And will take longer than I’d like.

I think rather than move ahead on pages, I’ll go through the outline and edit accordingly, thereby saving valuable time during the page-writing period as well as trimming some fat from the story.

-I’ve read some of the scripts from the 2011 Black List. So far, not too impressive.  I liked the 2010 selections much better.

-Movie of the Moment – 9 (2009). A really interesting animated film that came and went from theaters pretty quickly.  I can see why.  Set in a post-apocalyptic world, a band of foot-high dolls struggles to survive.  This is probably not the best way to describe it, but it’s all I can think of.

While the story is a little unusual, I thought it was a great take on the genre.  Really clever use of the animation and each doll had a distinct personality and appearance that made it easy to distinguish one from another.

My only complaints:  a slightly confusing resolution to the main conflict, and a lot of back-and-forth in terms of moving the story forward.  I think the main character said “We have to go  back!” at least twice.  It’s never explained how the dolls function, but in the end doesn’t really matter.

I didn’t realize this was based on a ten-minute short, which was included on the DVD, but I didn’t get a chance to watch it.  Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov were among the producers, and it’s easy to see the influence of each.

A mini-saga in editing

Maximum Z Black List, editing, screenwriting
A little bubbly for a little milestone

In only a little less than four hours, I managed to complete a pretty strong rewrite of the first half of DREAMSHIP.  Even better, I was able to cut enough to take it from 62 pages to 55, which is much more acceptable.

Being able to really trim the fat not only helps the script flow better, but also improves your writing.  The more you can say with fewer words, the better.

It was surprisingly easier than expected to manipulate the scenes to get the most out of them.  Maybe it was drastically cutting whatever wasn’t needed, or finding a way to cut a scene by half, or combining two scenes into one.  No matter what was needed, I did it.  This included cutting a line I absolutely loved, but it had to go.  Besides, I can always use it later.

I especially liked getting rid of a drawn-out sequence that was too similar to something earlier in the story and reworking it so it was shorter, different and made my protagonist be more active and help drive the action.  Good things all.

But that’s enough high self-praise. Time to move on to the second half.  If I can be as strategic in the initial writing phase as I  am in the later editing, AND I can do a healthy output of pages per day/week, then this thing will be ready to go sooner than anticipated.

No complaints.

-I haven’t been able to read many scripts lately, especially those from the Black List.  For the most part, I’ve been underwhelmed by a lot of this year’s selections, and ScriptShadow has been covering a lot of them.  I’ll go over the list again and see if anything catches my eye.  Any suggestions?

Behold the all-powerful red pencil of doom!

Maximum Z editing, Movie of the Moment, outlines, screenwriting
All part of the process...

Exaggerate?  Me?

Well, maybe a little.

I’ve been editing a hard copy of the first half of DREAMSHIP, and it’s so much easier than doing it on the laptop. Actually seeing what’s being cut, changed or moved around makes a really big difference.

And as predicted, at least one scene was completely cut, another was drastically shortened (necessarily so), and a majority have been tweaked in some manner.  And I’m only up to page 24.

Sometimes while I’m out on a run, even though I’m listening to podcasts, I’ll still go over the story in my head.  It’s actually quite helpful. I came up with the solution to two small subplot problems, but now need to figure out how to work them in in an effective, organic manner.

Fun stuff, believe you me.

Movie of the Moment – TANK GIRL (1995). Imagine a mega-hyperactive 5-year-old dressed in a punk rock thrift store wardrobe and armed with souped-up military hardware, then set it in the desert. That’s this movie.  I think it was part of the mid-90s “let’s snatch up a semi-obscure comic book property and turn it into a movie!” mindset.

I’ve never read the comic, but this felt like they were trying too hard.  It wasn’t a slog to get through, but it wasn’t fun either.

Less really IS more

Maximum Z editing, outlines, plot, screenwriting, story
This scene consists of TWO short, spot-on lines of dialogue

It’s always recommended that when you finish a script, you should put it in a drawer and not look at it again for at least two weeks. That way you can look at it with fresh eyes.

That’s what happened with the LUCY outline. Since I’ve been so pre-occupied with the DREAMSHIP rewrite, I haven’t looked at it since around Halloween.

I thought I had to get to a certain plot point in Act Two, but I’d forgotten I already had. A pleasant surprise, and it just needs a little tweaking.  Nice.

Then I read the rest of Act Two.

Oy.

What was I thinking?  Way too overwritten.  It drags, taking forever to get to where I want/need it to be.  A lot of unnecessary scenes.  And worst of all – my protagonist isn’t driving the action.

Strictly amateur hour.

I now see this as a challenge and opportunity to not only make some major fixes in this section of the story, but to do a massive overhaul in terms of editing and trimming the whole thing down.  If I can cut something and it doesn’t impact the story, then it shouldn’t have been in there in the first place.

This will also have to happen with DREAMSHIP. My midpoint’s on page 60, and that’s around 5-10 pages too many.

Time to get creative and kill some darlings.

Why not?

Maximum Z baking, Movie of the Moment, movies, running, screenwriting
so much to do in 363 days

This is what I’d like to accomplish, writing-wise, between now and December 31st:

-Finish DREAMSHIP. Last week I entered Script Doctor Eric’s $3 Screenplay Contest AND hit the halfway point. Either way, it’ll get done.

-Finish the LUCY outline and at least 1-2 drafts of the actual script.

-Date and cost permitting, possibly go to a Pitchfest-type event.  Any recommendations? Anti-recommendations? Nerdy as it sounds, I enjoy researching and targeting who would be a good fit.

-Seriously look into representation.  I don’t see why this couldn’t happen.

-From a non-writing standpoint, do at least 2 half-marathons. I’m signed up for New Orleans and K’s planning on Portland. No idea what the other one(s) could be.

-Make baklava. So tasty and something I’ve always wanted to attempt.  Fortunately, any mistakes can be taken to work because radio people are basically human piranha. They will eat just about anything, especially if it’s free and homemade.

-Movie of the Moment: HUGO (2011). V and I saw it at the Sundance Cinema in Japantown. Basically, this is Scorsese’s love letter to the early days of cinema.  I thought it was charming and maybe a little long, but still had a fun time.  The 3-D really added to it in some places, but the glasses were different in that you had to keep the middle of the lens focused on the screen or everything went all wobbly.

I thought it very odd that although it’s set in Paris, everybody has a British accent.  To make it easier for American audiences to follow along? If you can get past that, it doesn’t become much of an issue.

Allow me a slight rant regarding my fellow moviegoers. I have no problem with paying a little more for a high-quality theater. And I think being able to select your seats is a great idea.  But when you go into the auditorium and somebody’s in the seats you picked, then asked if they could move because they’re in our seats, and responds with “Does it matter?”, then I have to wonder how incredibly stupid and selfish they must be.  If it didn’t matter, then we wouldn’t have picked our seats when we bought the tickets!  That’s the whole point.  But the show was about to start and I didn’t feel like getting into an argument, so we sat in the seats next to them, which I’m guessing were their seats.  I hope the daggers I was staring at them really hurt.

It’s moments like these that make me think investing a couple of bucks in a nice home theater system might not be a bad idea.