…really sucked.

I don’t want to talk about it.

Maybe tomorrow, when it doesn’t seem as shitty.

So last week the writing group took a look at my first act for Baby Likes Jazz. A comment I heard a few times was to watch movies of a similar nature to get a better grasp of how to approach the material.

So I put Baby Boom at the top of my Netflix queue. It’s more or less a similar story.

I was going to just watch it, when the idea popped into my head to take notes. I already had a blank document on Word open, so I started typing what was going on in each scene, primarily from a “what’s the scene about/what’s going on?” perspective.

It was really helpful. And when it was finished, I looked over the whole thing and was able to follow the story quite easily. I wonder if it will be as easy in, say, a week.

When that was done, I started thinking about what kind of changes would need to be made to my story. Especially in the first act. Somebody in the group said it moved to quckly; things were happening too fast.

In Baby Boom, lots of scenes are short, but make their point in an easy-to-grasp way. I don’t think I have that yet. I also need to show more of how the kids impact my hero’s world.

I keep going back and forth regarding hammering through to the end of the current draft. Part of me wants to, then I think about starting again, but with the changes I would develop based on what I picked up from Baby Boom.

-I got a very nice email from the Eric of Script Doctor Eric regarding my prize for ensuing triumphant in his recent Logline Friday contest. The life coach I get 30 minutes with is on vacation, but should return later in the week. The more I think about it, the more intrigued I am as to how he might be able to help me.

I also joked about someday being able to afford his analysis service. He recommended saving up. Either him or the $60 guy. I like it in concept.

-there was another listing on craigslist for a screenwriter today. A guy in Cow Hollow is looking for a collaborator on material. But he’s more of a videographer/editor type, it sounds like. I’ll be curious to see if he responds.

Movie of the Moment: Night at the Museum 2. Only because it was free and on cable. Overall, not as much charm or cleverness as the first one. Some of the subplots didn’t seem to have much purpose; probably in there for a cheap laugh more than anything. And Hank Azaria’s character was way too passive. He should have been more threatening and dangerous. I don’t need to see it again.

I also attempted to watch Fanboys, but the disc was really scratched up. It’s enjoyable, but guys who talk about nothing BUT Star Wars gets irritating after a while. Hopefully the replacement disc will be in better shape.

All those starts, stops and digitized frames were driving me crazy.

Real fast.

Decided BABY LIKES JAZZ has potential for more risqué-ness. Investigating…

I won the weekly Logline Friday contest from scriptdoctoreric.com! Yay me! Now to check out this life coach and see what he can offer me.

That’s it.

I refer, of course, to the director I’m still working with, and what kind of reception he’s going to get if and when he breaks into the industry.

So we met today to discuss the script.  I went in thinking that he was going to try combining his version and mine.

Not necessarily.  He took my 2nd draft and made notes.  Some of them were valid, but it took quite an effort on my part to not let my eyes roll completely out of their sockets on some others.

I can understand the need to spice up some of the characters’ dialogue, and the need for an extra scene at the end to wrap things.

But…

Having characters react by doing something does not constitute an ‘action film.’

It is possible to try and jam too much symbolism into a movie.

You don’t tell the writer to ‘come up with a catchphrase’ so people remember the movie.  And you especially don’t say you want one so it will help with ‘getting the word out’ about it.

If a certain phrase reminds you of Mission Impossible 3, you really need to see more movies.

Unless your movie is about something scientific, the scientific community is NOT going to thoroughly analyze it.  And if something was done a certain way in a certain megahit (I’m looking at you, INCEPTION), you DO NOT base parts of your story on that.

I’m skeptical about the claim that people always associate the hero of the story with a prop or action.  The latter is part of the former.  Luke is more than his lightsaber.

Your audience is smarter than you think.  Don’t feel like you have to explain everything to them.  They don’t like it.  Making them think is a GOOD thing.

If an actor can’t read the script and figure out why their character is supposed to be upset, either the writing is really bad or they’re a bad actor.  I like to think my writing is pretty good.

That’s all I can suggest for now.  In the meantime, I’m approaching this (final) rewrite as a good exercise.  How can I improve on it?  Not only do I want it to meet my standards, I want this director to ‘get it.’  I want the writing to show what he wants to say.  We’ll see.

I forgot to mention that I’m getting the exorbitant salary of $20 to do all of this.  As K said to me, “What’s that work out to?  About 50 cents an hour?”

Yeah, something like that.  But my mantra throughout all of this has been “you’ll have a finished film with your name on it.”  That’s the important part.