A few more hurdles to go…

Several days and a lot of pages marked up with red ink later, the latest draft of the animated fantasy-comedy is complete.

But no resting on the laurels for this guy.

I have a few other pending projects that need my attention, and then it’s one more read-through to fix any new issues. That draft will then go to some readers, most likely resulting in another draft. After that, maybe a contest or two.

There weren’t a lot of major changes for this round; more like lots and lots of little ones. A changed word or phrase here, the reorganizing of action lines or dialogue, that sort of thing. Nothing too drastic, but just enough to make a difference.

Additionally, after all the time I spent on a potential new title, I decided to stick with the original one. For now, at least. If a producer wants to buy it and then change it, who am I to say no? Once the check clears, of course.

And a huge shoutout to all the readers whose notes made a big difference.

Overall, I’m quite happy with how it turned out. I’m glad I took my time and didn’t rush it. It feels more put-together than before, and hopefully the end result will be as rock-solid as it can be.

Fingers crossed.

My industrious red pen

Another shorty today, but worth mentioning.

Wrapped up a rewrite of the animated fantasy-comedy. Implemented a good deal of changes and suggestions from several sets of notes. Really liked the results.

Printed it out, and am now going through through it line by line for additional edits, tweaks, etc.

After that – sending it to a handful of readers. Still deciding who to ask – those who saw a much earlier version, or potentially somebody new.

I was also feeling somewhat bothered regarding how long this whole process is taking. A LOT of time has been spent on this script.

But then I see comments on social media from friends who are also completing their latest draft, including some that have been working on it just as long, or even longer than I have.

Which makes me feel not so bad.

IT TAKES AS LONG AS IT TAKES.

I’ll get there.

From the archives: Because ‘Journal of the Whills’ just doesn’t cut it*

How DOES it look on a marquee?

As part of the ongoing rewrite of the animated fantasy-comedy, there have been more than a few suggestions to come up with a title of stronger significance and impact. While I struggle with that latest wrinkle, here’s a post from waaaay back in February of 2013 about the same situation with an earlier script. I eventually did come up with one, and am confident I can do the same this time around.

In the meantime, enjoy this blast from the past.

*the original title George Lucas had for STAR WARS. Not as good, right?

After reading countless spec titles in places such as The Black List and Done Deal Pro, I’ve come to the conclusion that my script really needs to undergo a name change.

DREAMSHIP

It sort of just…sits there, when instead it should be grabbing your attention and making you think, “Cool! I’ve gotta see this!”

Examples: BACK TO THE FUTURE. CHINATOWN. DIE HARD. See what I mean? Solid. Succinct. To the point.

I may go back to the original title – THE AMAZING DREAMSHIP ADVENTURE. It feels like it does a better job of conveying what the story’s about and what kind of ride you’re in for, but I wouldn’t put it past me to try and tweak it a little more.

It was also suggested that since this is more of a family-oriented kind of story, I should go the HARRY POTTER route and include the main character’s name. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Having a good, strong title is key because it and the logline create the first impression. Do an effective job with that and you’ve got their attention. Just make sure the script/story can hold onto it.

Input much appreciated

In the past week and a half, I’ve had a pair of Zoom calls with writing colleagues – the first to discuss ideas for my action-comedy spec, and the second to review their potential fixes for the animated fantasy-comedy. Additionally, one friend did some pro coverage on the animated script, and another friend sent a video of their page-by-page analysis for it.

I can’t begin to describe how beneficial all of these were in making me feel more confident about each project.

I’d been feeling stuck regarding the story of the action-comedy, so talking through it with somebody helped fit a few more puzzle pieces into place. Also great – they love the concept of the story and think it has a lot of potential.

Still quite a ways to go on it, but every little bit helps.

As for the animated script, the general consensus was that a lot of it is solid, but a few areas could use a little adjusting that would all go a long way in improving it. Even better – these are not major changes, so although they’re still challenging, they’re not insurmountable. Just requires a little more effort on my part.

Another bonus was that all three had very positive and encouraging things to say about the script itself, and felt these changes would help take it to the next level. I’ve set a deadline to have a completed draft by the end of the year, but hoping it’s closer to the end of October. Either way, seems doable.

Like I said – feeling really good about both projects. And I definitely would not have gotten to this point if I hadn’t reached out and asked for this kind of feedback.

Your network of writers is one of the most underrated but also most valuable resources you have. Notes, encouragement, connections, just to name a few. I love helping out when I can, and I know that many times the feeling is mutual.

Even though I’ve gone through A LOT of drafts for the animated script, it wouldn’t be what it is today without the feedback from many of the writers I know. Any future success it could potentially yield will be due in no small part to what other writers had to say about it.

For which I am very, very grateful.

Rewrite: Here we go again

Bit of a shorty today.

More notes of exceptional quality have come in on the animated fantasy-comedy, so opting to do a little more work on it.

Going into this one being open to the suggestions, but not saying “yes” to everything.

I really want to make this one as solid as it can be, and it definitely feels like it’s getting there. The end goal is to have it ready for next year’s early bird deadlines.

It’s also a good thing to work on this because I’d been feeling a bit stuck on the story of the new spec, so a little time away may be just what I need.

Wish me luck.