Advice, suggestions, and everything in between

neil-gaiman
“When someone tells you it isn’t working – they’re almost always right. When they tell you how to fix it – they’re almost always wrong.” – Neil Gaiman

Many, many years ago, when I was just starting out in radio, I’d put together a demo tape of some of my on-air material and asked some of the veteran DJs at the station if they’d give it a listen.

One guy had several positive things to say, but also pointed out ways of how I was demonstrating my still-green abilities. He made some suggestions about how to fix that, which would, in theory, help me get better. They did.

The second guy started with “It’s good, but here’s how I would do it.” I honestly don’t remember anything he said after that because I simply didn’t care how he would do it.

There’s a very similar approach to how one gives notes on a screenplay.

When I give notes, I read what’s on the page and offer up my opinions of how it could be potentially be improved (from my perspective). A lot of the time it involves questions like “Why is this happening?” or “How do we know that?”

Or if something doesn’t work, but I understand what the writer’s trying to do, I’ll ask “What if you tried THIS (different approach) that yields the same results?” They may not take that suggestion, but it might trigger something new and unexpected.

I totally get that this is their story, and my only interest is in helping them make it better. By asking questions that only the writer can answer, the responsibility of coming up with and applying any fixes falls squarely on their shoulders.

I also make a point of trying to be objective. I may not be a fan of your story’s genre, but that doesn’t mean I’ll automatically be negative in my notes. What I will do is approach it from a “does it tell a good story populated with interesting characters and situations?” perspective.

And then there are the notes that want to take your story in an entirely new direction. The ones that take it upon themselves to change your story because “that’s not how they would do it.” I’ve gotten quite a few of those.

But what if how you would do it is different than how I would?

Sometimes it’s a suggestion that runs counter to the story you’re trying to tell, or it might have absolutely nothing do with the story at all. I’ve even received the always-appealing “This was great, except for this one small thing I disagree with/don’t like, which ruined the rest of it for me.”

Everybody’s going to have their own opinion, but the one that counts the most is yours. Even if it doesn’t feel that way now, only you know what the script really needs, and you’re going to get all kinds of responses when you seek out feedback.

Some of it will be very helpful and insightful, some definitely won’t be, and in the end it’s really up to you to decide which notes you think provide the most guidance to helping make your script better, which will in turn help you become a better writer.

 

Better than socks and underwear

xmas
“Not the insightful script analysis from a seasoned professional I was hoping for, but a Rolex is nice too.”
With the holidays coming up fast, and you’re just not sure what to get the screenwriter in your life, take a gander below at all the great gift choices available. What better way to show your support in helping them be a better writer in 2017?

And if you opt to splurge on yourself by purchasing any of the services being offered, they should count as tax-deductible (but double-check with your accountant, just to be sure.)

Keep in mind a lot of these offers are time-sensitive, so don’t delay and order today!

-Writer-director-producer Jimmy Day has launched the new Write12BlockScripts script consulting service. Mention Maximum Z when ordering and he’ll take $50 off, and that applies to both full script and 30-page reviews. Contact Jimmy here.

-Consultant Phil Clarke wants you to take advantage of getting his script services at the 2016 rates before the new 2017 rates kick in on January 1st. Visit www.philmscribe.com for details on a script consultant with bonafide, rarely rivaled industry experience, or contact Phil here.

-Story analyst Jim Mercurio is offering a 48-hour flash sale with 50% discount on several services. Get up to 20 pages of notes and save up to $600 on Jim’s Snapshot Evaluation, Comprehensive or Professional Analysis Services. Even if your script’s not ready to send right away, sign up the end of this weekend and submit your script anytime through the end of January. Contact Jim here.

-Author-consultant Michele Wallerstein will be teaching the online course How to Break into the Screenwriting Business via Screenwriters University starting on February 9th, and her book Mind Your Business: A Hollywood Literary Agent’s Guide to your Writing Career is now available in both paperback and Kindle versions.

-Writer-consultant Philip Hardy’s The Script Gymnasium is offering up the 2016 Holiday Special of $99 for full script evaluation and notes. This offer is good through December 31st. Contact Philip here.

-Consultant Andrew Hilton (aka The Screenplay Mechanic) will give a $10 discount on any of his services through January if you mention you were referred via Maximum Z. Better hurry! Spots are filling up fast!

-Consultant Danny Manus has a special holiday deal in place: purchase any Basic or Extensive Notes Service now thru January 1st and receive the 2-hour webinar “Mastering the Short Pitch” FREE! (normally $49) when you reference Maximum Z. Contact Danny here.

-Writer-consultant Mark Sanderson is offering a holiday discount of $25 off all consulting services. The offer runs through December 31st, but can be used throughout 2017.

-Consultant Lee Jessup is offering a 15% discount on her one-on-one career coaching services if you use the code MyPalPaul.

-Consultant Barri Evans is offering 15% off all services purchased between now and January 4th. Check them out here, or contact Barri here to discuss the best option for you. Services range from pro help on crafting powerful loglines, queries, and pitches to script consults offering one-on-one interactive feedback, as well as mentorship to meet your every need. Plus, be sure to check out her free Logline Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down on her consults page!

-Writer Bill Martell is having a sale until December 26th on the mp3’s of his audio classes: half-price for the Classic Class Set and the Naked Screenwriting Class. Bill also has a wide selection of e-books.

-And when you decide to take a break from writing and just want to lose yourself in a good read, Brian Fitzpatrick’s screenplay-turned-novel Mechcraft is slated to be published by Inkshares in 2017. With the visual intensity of The Matrix combined with the wonder of Harry Potter, pre-orders for Mechcraft are being taken now! Check out the site, the reviews, and sample chapters here.

Try the direct approach

handshake
Nice to see you again. Mind if I ask you something?

Sometime last week, I received a very nice compliment via on online forum regarding the quality of the script notes I give. A mutual associate of ours chimed in with the grumbly “Well, he never does it for me.”

To which I responded “Because you never ask.”

I don’t know what this writer’s standard M.O. is for getting notes, but from what I can gather, usually involves them posting “Anybody want to read my stuff?”

There’s nothing wrong with that, but the drawback is you run the risk of getting feedback from somebody with less experience than you, or worse, has no idea what they’re talking about.

This is why networking and establishing relationships with other writers is so important. If someone posted a generic request for a read, I’d be less inclined to respond. Even if I knew the person. I figure they’ll probably get a few other responses, so why bother?

But if someone came to me specifically and said “If you have the time, would you be able to read this?”, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. This shows me that they value my experience and opinions, along with respecting that I can’t simply drop everything to accommodate them. They’ll also include an offer to read something of mine, if I’m interested.

Sometimes I’ll get an email asking me for a read, and it might be because of any number of reasons. They’ve read my stuff before and think this new script is similar. They know I have an eye for fill-in-the-blank. All of this could only have come from myself and this other writer having already established a good professional relationship.

While I always encourage writers to get out there and network, it’s also important to build on those connections once you’ve got them. You don’t have to become somebody’s best friend, but being supportive or offering the occasional words of encouragement really go a long way. Plus, people are much more likely to remember that sort of thing, adding to the likelihood they’d be willing to help you out.

More than often I’ve read about another writer’s projects and introduce myself, tell them how I found them (usually via the forums) and of my interest in the script in question, then ask if they’re cool with me taking a look at it. It’s a rare occurrence when someone says no.

Both of you are writers constantly striving to improve, and some good, solid feedback can play a big part in that. And that can be best achieved by getting to know other writers and treating with the same respect you’d expect to be treated with yourself.

 

For crying out loud, DO SOMETHING!

bored
Is THIS how you want your audience to react?
While the November writing project moves forward at a pleasant pace (but now appears to be more of a November-December thing), part of my time has also been spent giving notes on some friends’ scripts.

One in particular had a few problems, some of which were easily fixed, but what really stood out was how it committed a cardinal sin of screenwriting by having a lot of scenes where the characters talk repeatedly about something “important” they want to do, but by the end, they end up not doing anything. And I mean that literally. These were some of the most passive characters I’ve experienced.

It didn’t help that the characters also had no arc. They were exactly the same from beginning to end (with maybe the exception of one who might have been arrested, but even the circumstances involved with that are still somewhat unclear).

Let’s face it. A main character who’s all talk, no action, and doesn’t change is the death knell for your script. Why would somebody be interested in seeing what happens to them, especially if they don’t do anything?

One of the most frequent problems I’ve seen is when the main character isn’t the one driving the story forward. They just kind of hang around and watch stuff happen.

Bo. Ring.

Remember, you’re trying to get your main character to their goal over the course of the story. They have to be the one making things happen in order to achieve that, or at least react to what happens in such a way that it helps them. The way these characters were written, I honestly had no idea what their individual goals were.

Take a look at your latest draft. Which character is moving the story forward? Is your main character active or passive? Are they making things happen? If not, can you see what you’d need to change in order to do that?

You definitely want your characters to come across as believably three-dimensional. Having them do little or next-to-nothing throughout the story is doing you no favors. Character motivation and actions are some of those key elements that simply cannot be left out. Audiences can forgive certain things, but a dull, passive main character isn’t one of them.

Avoiding the dreaded unfilmable

flagman
Don’t go this way!

I recently had the pleasure of giving notes on a friend’s script. It was an early draft, so it had some of the usual problems that were easily fixable.

But the one thing that really stood out to me was their use of unfilmables.

“Unfilmables?” some might ask. “What are those?”

I’m glad you asked. Here’s an example:

“EXT. PORCH – DAY

Jane sits on the stained deck chair her father bought for her birthday last year.”

If you saw that onscreen, you know what you’d see?

A woman sitting on a chair.

In other words, HOW DO WE KNOW it was a birthday present from her father? We don’t. How can you let us know? Maybe we see the father giving it to her. Or another character asks about it, and she delivers a one-line explanation.

If there’s an important detail to your story, you need to find a way to include it as part of the story, and preferably in the most organic way possible.

What’s on the page is what we see and hear.

Unless there’s a line of dialogue or some kind of action somewhere in there that reveals these kinds of things, the audience has no way of knowing them.

Here’s another:

“INT. KITCHEN – NIGHT

Kevin washes dishes. He thinks about that time he and his high school girlfriend crashed her mom’s car.”

What’s on the screen? A guy washing dishes.

HOW DO WE KNOW that’s what he’s thinking about?

Maybe we see the accident take place. Or hear Kevin talking about it. Maybe the story involves how the accident leads up to him washing dishes.

In my old writing group, one writer was insistent about leaving these sorts of things in. When pressed on why they were so adamant about not being willing to take them out, they’d launch into a long-winded explanation of why it was necessary to include them.

“So if we were watching this, you’d be there explaining things, rather than working them into the story and showing them on the screen?”

I’m not sure if they got the point.

Hopefully you do.