Countless rewrites and editing sessions later, I’m fairly certain my script is done. You’d think the big celebration would begin, but far from it. One hard part is over, and the next, even harder part is underway.
I’ll do one more round of feedback from a handful of trusted colleagues, and maybe even one or two professional critiques. I have a few in mind I’d like to try – any recommendations? While that’s going on, the great assembling of a query letter will commence.
As eager as I am to get the script into interested hands, it’s vital I really take my time with this. Simply put, this query letter must absolutely knock the socks off anybody who reads it. My hope is that the query makes the script practically irresistible; that not reading it would really make you feel like you’re missing out on something of significance.
I’m not saying my script is the be-all, end-all, but I feel pretty positive about it. The task at hand now is to convey that confidence in the body of the query.
I’m getting over a nasty bout of some kind of respiratory virus, which at one point included a fever of 104.1, thereby completely nullifying my ability to do just about anything. I was hoping to utilize the time being laid up to work on the rewrite, but it’s kind of difficult when your head feels hotter than the surface of the sun.
Over the weekend, I got some helpful feedback from a trusted colleague. This was a repeat evaluation for him, and he again raised some points about the antagonist and the way she acted. At first, I basically glossed over his comments, most likely because I didn’t necessarily agree with them.
But his words gnawed at me. If he had issues with that, who’s to say a potential future interested industry-connected person wouldn’t say the exact same thing? It’s up to me to make this thing as tight, connected and bulletproof as possible, so any criticism needs to be taken into consideration.
Since my health wasn’t exactly around 100 percent, and it was easier to read then to actually write, I went through the sequence he was talking about. I read through it not as the person who wrote it, but as a reader/audience member going in blind.
And of course, he was right. Why would the antagonist do these things? It made no sense. That and a two-scene sequence that the more I thought about, didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose. So out that went as well.
Suffice to say, a mini-rewrite is in progress. It’ll take a little bit of effort to work my way through this, but as usually happens, the new end result will (in theory) be stronger, more effective and just improve things overall. At first I was annoyed that I had to go through this, but upon reflection, anything that has to be done to improve the script is necessary and should always been seen as a positive rather than a negative.
Hopefully, it won’t take too long.
-Movie of the Moment – MARY AND MAX (2009). Don’t let the animation fool you – this ain’t no kids film. This claymation feature from Australia deals with adult subjects such as depression and mental illness. The title refers to 8-year-old Mary, growing up lonely and ignored in the suburbs of Melbourne, who becomes pen pals with 44-year-old Max, living alone and afraid in New York City. Their relationship spans 20 years as we get to see the impact each has on the other’s life during that time.
This description really can’t do the story justice; it’s one of those films you have to see for yourself. Highly recommended for adults, NOT recommended for kids. This has also got to be one of the most heart-wrenchingly sad movies you may ever see (if you don’t cry at the end, then you just have no soul), but at times can also be extremely hilarious. It leans more towards black humor, so if that’s not your thing, you might not enjoy it as much.
I didn’t fare very well in that, did I? Not going to argue. But in the end – it’s okay.
Most of his comments are probably spot-on, but comedy’s never really been my strong suit. I liked the idea, and wanted to give it a go. I still like it, enough to even list it on my Scripts page.
This was the 2nd script I ever wrote. As you probably guessed, it’s not exactly fresh, but I liked it enough to submit it. I’ve written 5 more since then, and like to think I’ve improved.
It also got me a manager (we have since parted ways), and I even got an email a few months ago from a guy saying he really liked it. Proving once again that comedy really is subjective.
It would be way too easy to bitch and moan, but there’s no point. It’s all part of the process, and pushes me even harder to improve and succeed.
Sometimes I do things that are counterproductive. Almost even stupid in their execution. Practically on a level of “what the hell was I thinking?” And apparently I’ve done it again.
I went to the internet seeking somebody’s opinion on my work. Yeah, I know.
I posted my logline on a few message boards, curious to know if it works. Some comments have been positive, while others… Let’s not call them negative, but there does seem to be a strong critical-without-guidance vibe. Do some of them realize they’re coming across as snobbish?
It’s also important to remember that these are public forums, which means the public is responding, which means there are varying degrees of experience out there. Probably some with even less than me, of which I suspect there are more than a few. Curious to know if any of them are actual working screenwriters.
Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate every single comment (albeit to a certain degree), but don’t like feeling like I have to keep changing my stuff to make them happy. I also have to remind myself it’s my script, and it ultimately comes down to what I think works best.
And at this point, it’s probably time to stop using the message boards as much and start seeking professional feedback. Guidance from somebody with actual industry experience seems like it would be a little more reliable.
*side note – it’s fascinating to see how people interpret what they read. Some of the revamped loglines focus on key words and take a sharp turn from there.
-Movie of the Moment: It’s been a while, but I’ve seen three new releases in the past week.
BRAVE – beautiful to look at, but haven’t we heard this story before? I was really expecting something a little more different from the folks across the Bay in Emeryville, although the bear subplot was unexpected.
MADAGASCAR 3 – surprisingly funnier than I thought it would be. Especially nice how they wove subplot threads throughout and wrapped them all up in the end.
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN – okay, but not as fun as THE AVENGERS, but I did like the Spidey POV shots while he’s swinging around New York. Also impressed with how they made the Lizard an actual formidable bad guy, but really felt they could have done more with it. No great desire to see it again or own it. Hope they use Raimi’s Spidey #2 as a guide in terms of fun and quality for the sequel, but please: stop taking off the mask, and NO VENOM.
Regarding THE DARK KNIGHT RISES: the trailers are doing a phenomenal job in increasing my desire to see this. I may even be so bold as to consider seeing it in IMAX.
It’s amazing how productive you can be while working at 30,000 feet. K and I flew across the country to spend some time with her family (as well as pick up a somewhat homesick V). Since the movie going each way didn’t interest me, I took the opportunity to go through the latest rewrite and look for further necessary edits. Of which there were more than a few.
I’ve since made all the changes, save one: a handful of sentences describing a location. At first this may sound pretty unimportant, but it’s actually quite the opposite. Without going into too much detail, this description is for one of two key settings in the whole story. The other one – exactly what it should be, so now I need one just as good, if not better, for this. What I have now is just cliched and boring. Time to buckle down and come up with something exactly spot-on.
It’ll be an uphill battle, but I’ll find it. Trust me.
-During our stay, lots of downtime and limited internet access gave me the chance to start figuring Act Three of the western-adventure.
I’d completely forgotten some of the details in the first outline from a few months ago. Some of them still work (surprisingly so), which was an unexpected surprise, but others will have to go, which was completely expected. Further proof that after you write something, you really should ignore it for a while.
Reworking this may be a slightly bigger task than originally expected, which I don’t mind at all. It’s also a golden opportunity. First I come up with what I want to happen, then get to figure out how to make it bigger. Fun stuff indeed, and I do not mean that sarcastically.
-I took it upon myself to further my jump into making all of this happen by signing up for IMDBPro. Time to start researching who would be receptive to reading my stuff. Last time around, I went through a hard copy of the HCD, highlighting any agency and management company that was okay with unsolicited query emails. Not sure if that’s the way to go now. Any and all suggestions are welcome.
Maximum Z 