I’m getting over a nasty bout of some kind of respiratory virus, which at one point included a fever of 104.1, thereby completely nullifying my ability to do just about anything. I was hoping to utilize the time being laid up to work on the rewrite, but it’s kind of difficult when your head feels hotter than the surface of the sun.
Over the weekend, I got some helpful feedback from a trusted colleague. This was a repeat evaluation for him, and he again raised some points about the antagonist and the way she acted. At first, I basically glossed over his comments, most likely because I didn’t necessarily agree with them.
But his words gnawed at me. If he had issues with that, who’s to say a potential future interested industry-connected person wouldn’t say the exact same thing? It’s up to me to make this thing as tight, connected and bulletproof as possible, so any criticism needs to be taken into consideration.
Since my health wasn’t exactly around 100 percent, and it was easier to read then to actually write, I went through the sequence he was talking about. I read through it not as the person who wrote it, but as a reader/audience member going in blind.
And of course, he was right. Why would the antagonist do these things? It made no sense. That and a two-scene sequence that the more I thought about, didn’t seem to serve much of a purpose. So out that went as well.
Suffice to say, a mini-rewrite is in progress. It’ll take a little bit of effort to work my way through this, but as usually happens, the new end result will (in theory) be stronger, more effective and just improve things overall. At first I was annoyed that I had to go through this, but upon reflection, anything that has to be done to improve the script is necessary and should always been seen as a positive rather than a negative.
Hopefully, it won’t take too long.
-Movie of the Moment – MARY AND MAX (2009). Don’t let the animation fool you – this ain’t no kids film. This claymation feature from Australia deals with adult subjects such as depression and mental illness. The title refers to 8-year-old Mary, growing up lonely and ignored in the suburbs of Melbourne, who becomes pen pals with 44-year-old Max, living alone and afraid in New York City. Their relationship spans 20 years as we get to see the impact each has on the other’s life during that time.
This description really can’t do the story justice; it’s one of those films you have to see for yourself. Highly recommended for adults, NOT recommended for kids. This has also got to be one of the most heart-wrenchingly sad movies you may ever see (if you don’t cry at the end, then you just have no soul), but at times can also be extremely hilarious. It leans more towards black humor, so if that’s not your thing, you might not enjoy it as much.