Sallying forth

Maximum Z documentary, outlines, rewrite, screenwriting, story
This way, boys!

This has been a very busy week, but unfortunately not in terms of writing. The school year is in full swing, which means helping V with all kinds of stuff, including homework (which includes reading), assorted sports (hockey & soccer), and next week marks the addition of Hebrew school.  Add to that I’m working a split shift all this week and you have one pooped writer.

Not to say I haven’t tried.  I’ve been able to get some work done, but not on what I was planning.  Since a lot of the aforementioned activities are outside, using the computer isn’t an option. Which means pen, paper and the LUCY outline.  Happy to say I’ve been able to trim the first half down so it moves much more smoothly.

However. Two things now concern me:

1. whether or not I need to do the occasional cutaway to keep the reader/audience updated regarding what the villain is up to. Still not sure if this is necessary.

2.  whether or not the third quarter of Act Two is too boring.  Maybe boring is too strong, but it feels like not enough is happening to up the stakes.  A little more analysis and evaluation are in order.

Hoping to make progress on all fronts in the next couple of days.

-Movie of the Moment – EXPORTING RAYMOND (2010), a documentary about Phil Rosenthal, who created EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, going to Russia to help develop  a version of the show.

Honestly, I thought it would be funnier, but that was based on the trailer.

There were a lot of situations best described as ‘uncomfortable’ or ‘awkward’, mostly Phil dealing with culture clash from assorted behind-the-scenes staffers. The out-there costume designer thinks the clothes should be high-end to show how fashionable the family is. The writers don’t get why the main character (re-named ‘Kostya’) is such a pushover. Since they couldn’t get their first choice for the lead, they go with the guy who played the Larry Hagman role on the Russian IDREAM OF JEANNIE, who turns out to be a terrible comedy actor.

It’s interesting if you want to see how a TV show is put together, but if you’re expecting a big laughfest, prepare to be disappointed.

Hack! Slash!

Maximum Z editing, rewrite, screenwriting
Whattya think of my script so far?

No chance to work on pages, but I did get my eyes opened by doing some more editing on LUCY.

It’s amazing how easy it is to cut something out when you really need to.  And boy, did I need to.  Suffice to say, the entire first half is at least ten scenes lighter, and there’s a few more that could probably go.

I hadn’t realized how much I had padded this thing. The hard part now is determining which scenes feel more like filler, and focus on the ones contributing to moving the story forward.  Sometimes it ain’t easy figuring out which is which.

 

Creating the before

Maximum Z rewrite, screenwriting
Somewhere within lies a shining example of an expository scene

Another day, another 3 pages. Unfortunately, had to stop on page 13 because I hit a scene that is pure exposition.  It involves backstory; lots of it.  Trying to figure out how to say a lot without talking heads or running long.

While it would be nice to come up with something different, I may go with the voiceover/storytelling method. At least it would be visual.

-Movie of the Moment – finished THE STUNT MAN. For the most part, disappointing. Didn’t help that the lead actor (Steve Railsback) was too hard to watch.

Look out! It’s the iBorg!

Maximum Z Apple, computer, outlines, screenwriting, Triggerstreet
So THAT'S what happened to Steve Jobs...

Due to circumstances beyond our control, we are currently a one-computer family.  Unfortunately, it’s my 6-year-old IBM laptop, which has become very tempermental in the past few months.  My eyes roll and I swear under my breath every time “(Not Responding)” appears at the top of my screen.

But this week that’s going to change.  After years of being a PC, I’m making the switch to a Mac. I have no idea what to expect, but it’ll definitely be interesting. I’ll have to contact the fine folks at Movie Magic Screenwriter to find out if I have to buy a new version or if I can switch over. I’ve used MMS since way back, when it was originally called Script Thing.

This will be the third Apple product in my possession. I already have an iPod and an iPhone. No doubt an iPad is somewhere in the future as well; it looks like the perfect venue for checking out a script without lugging a laptop around. It would probably just be easier to have an Apple logo tattooed somewhere scandalous and install an earbud jack and USB port somewhere easily accessible.

A benefit of having one computer is that while K uses the laptop for her purposes, it forces me to work with pen and paper.  Since I’d rather use my computer time to write pages anyway, I’m using my spare time to work on editing my LUCY outline.  It’s been more helpful than I expected.

Yesterday involved cutting out a big chunk of the first act – almost 9 scenes. While I hated to do it, it had to be done.  But it tightened the story, sped things up and kept the action going.  Besides, I can re-use some of the cut items later if necessary.

-I started reading an assigned script from TriggerStreet. I’m only on page 7, and so far, I’m not impressed.  Only 115 pages to go. Oy. This ain’t gonna be easy.

Only 105 pages to go, or thereabouts…

Maximum Z Movie of the Moment, rewrite, screenwriting
My choice for the perfect script

I feel majorly pumped not only because I got to page 10 today, but there is some really strong writing in there.  This is worlds apart from the previous version.

I’m trying to not second-guess myself whether or not everything’s working so far (which I think it is anyway), and am just trying to have fun during the writing process while (hopefully) also making it a fun and exciting read.

I thought about offering the pages to anybody interested in checking them out, but then decided to wait until the whole thing is ready.  It’s better that way.  Besides, it’s not like I don’t report on my progress; just not many specific details.

-Movie of the Moment – THE STUNT MAN (1980). I’m only about 45 minutes into it. Can’t for the life of me remember the name of the lead, but he’s a wanted man on the run (no details as to why just yet) and may have accidentally killed a man.  He manages to find his way onto a WWI film set (in San Diego?!), and by inadvertently saving the film-with-the-film’s leading lady, is offered a stuntman job by the director, played by Peter O’Toole.

I like what I’ve seen so far, but the lead isn’t that great an actor, and sometimes it seems as if the story can’t make up its mind. Does it want to be a thriller, a comedy, or a drama? A little clarity would be nice.

I remember watching Siskel and Ebert review this waaay back when on SNEAK PREVIEWS on PBS (Channel 12, WHYY in Philadelphia).  Funny how this is the first time I got around to actually watching it.