I’ve been editing a hard copy of the first half of DREAMSHIP, and it’s so much easier than doing it on the laptop. Actually seeing what’s being cut, changed or moved around makes a really big difference.
And as predicted, at least one scene was completely cut, another was drastically shortened (necessarily so), and a majority have been tweaked in some manner. And I’m only up to page 24.
Sometimes while I’m out on a run, even though I’m listening to podcasts, I’ll still go over the story in my head. It’s actually quite helpful. I came up with the solution to two small subplot problems, but now need to figure out how to work them in in an effective, organic manner.
Fun stuff, believe you me.
Movie of the Moment – TANK GIRL (1995). Imagine a mega-hyperactive 5-year-old dressed in a punk rock thrift store wardrobe and armed with souped-up military hardware, then set it in the desert. That’s this movie. I think it was part of the mid-90s “let’s snatch up a semi-obscure comic book property and turn it into a movie!” mindset.
I’ve never read the comic, but this felt like they were trying too hard. It wasn’t a slog to get through, but it wasn’t fun either.
This scene consists of TWO short, spot-on lines of dialogue
It’s always recommended that when you finish a script, you should put it in a drawer and not look at it again for at least two weeks. That way you can look at it with fresh eyes.
That’s what happened with the LUCY outline. Since I’ve been so pre-occupied with the DREAMSHIP rewrite, I haven’t looked at it since around Halloween.
I thought I had to get to a certain plot point in Act Two, but I’d forgotten I already had. A pleasant surprise, and it just needs a little tweaking. Nice.
Then I read the rest of Act Two.
Oy.
What was I thinking? Way too overwritten. It drags, taking forever to get to where I want/need it to be. A lot of unnecessary scenes. And worst of all – my protagonist isn’t driving the action.
Strictly amateur hour.
I now see this as a challenge and opportunity to not only make some major fixes in this section of the story, but to do a massive overhaul in terms of editing and trimming the whole thing down. If I can cut something and it doesn’t impact the story, then it shouldn’t have been in there in the first place.
This will also have to happen with DREAMSHIP. My midpoint’s on page 60, and that’s around 5-10 pages too many.
This is what I’d like to accomplish, writing-wise, between now and December 31st:
-Finish DREAMSHIP. Last week I entered Script Doctor Eric’s $3 Screenplay Contest AND hit the halfway point. Either way, it’ll get done.
-Finish the LUCY outline and at least 1-2 drafts of the actual script.
-Date and cost permitting, possibly go to a Pitchfest-type event. Any recommendations? Anti-recommendations? Nerdy as it sounds, I enjoy researching and targeting who would be a good fit.
-Seriously look into representation. I don’t see why this couldn’t happen.
-From a non-writing standpoint, do at least 2 half-marathons. I’m signed up for New Orleans and K’s planning on Portland. No idea what the other one(s) could be.
-Make baklava. So tasty and something I’ve always wanted to attempt. Fortunately, any mistakes can be taken to work because radio people are basically human piranha. They will eat just about anything, especially if it’s free and homemade.
-Movie of the Moment: HUGO (2011). V and I saw it at the Sundance Cinema in Japantown. Basically, this is Scorsese’s love letter to the early days of cinema. I thought it was charming and maybe a little long, but still had a fun time. The 3-D really added to it in some places, but the glasses were different in that you had to keep the middle of the lens focused on the screen or everything went all wobbly.
I thought it very odd that although it’s set in Paris, everybody has a British accent. To make it easier for American audiences to follow along? If you can get past that, it doesn’t become much of an issue.
Allow me a slight rant regarding my fellow moviegoers. I have no problem with paying a little more for a high-quality theater. And I think being able to select your seats is a great idea. But when you go into the auditorium and somebody’s in the seats you picked, then asked if they could move because they’re in our seats, and responds with “Does it matter?”, then I have to wonder how incredibly stupid and selfish they must be. If it didn’t matter, then we wouldn’t have picked our seats when we bought the tickets! That’s the whole point. But the show was about to start and I didn’t feel like getting into an argument, so we sat in the seats next to them, which I’m guessing were their seats. I hope the daggers I was staring at them really hurt.
It’s moments like these that make me think investing a couple of bucks in a nice home theater system might not be a bad idea.
I think the proper phrase is ‘creative differences’. And it was an amicable parting of ways, at least from my perspective.
Whatever happens next with this short, I will not be involved and I wish this guy all the best.
When somebody uses phrases like “the script is very subtextual” and “the characters don’t mean what they said; you have to see the acting,” and “the jokes are just funny; they have nothing to do with anything so far,” I take that as a sign to go.
From my perspective, it might have helped if he had been a little more detailed when he said “this is what I want”, rather than “see what you can do with this”. I suspect this probably happens a lot with professional writers. A producer says “I want this!”, then follows it up with, “That’s not what I meant.”
Oh well. Live and learn.
-One of my New Year’s resolutions is to check out more screenwriting blogs. I have my usual suspects over there to the right, but there’s an extensive list at Go Into The Story (particularly the Friends column), and I’m going to see if there are any others worth my time. Any suggestions?
I received the revised outline for the short on Christmas Day and have spent the past two days reviewing it.
My first response was “What the hell is he thinking?” But I decided to cool my proverbial jets and gave it some time. At least a day. I looked it over again yesterday morning. I still don’t know what he’s thinking, but rather than get upset and try and tear him down, I thought it would be better to focus on the story.
So I went through the outline, scene by scene, scribbling down questions that each scene raised. Why would the character do this? Why does this happen? Is this being set up to be paid off later? And so on and so on.
But as I read through, trying to figure things out, I also came to the conclusion that I may not be the writer this project needs. As much as I’d love to see this develop into an actual film, I don’t know if it benefits either side for me to keep trying.
I think my ideas work, but it’s his film. It’s frustrating to slave over a draft only to get “Not really what I had in mind” thirty minutes later. This has happened twice, and I don’t know if a third try is worth it.
I gave him the option of going with another writer, but have yet to hear back. It’ll be interesting to see what happens.
I’ve never walked away from a project before, but sometimes you just have to.
