Author: Maximum Z

My work is cut out for me

Maximum Z analysis, Black List, characters, espionage, Miyazaki, outlines, plot, radio, screenwriting, story, The 13th Man, thrillers, WWII

Due to heavy rainfall on Christmas Day, this poor little Jewish traffic reporter was swamped with work (no pun intended) on Saturday, so I got absolutely nothing done on the outline.

Sunday was sunny and much quieter, so I was able to do a little bit.

My plan was to keep moving forward today while doing afternoon drive (check it out! I’m on NPR! Well, the local affiliate anyway).  But I also felt bad about having downloaded those script from the Black List and not read any, so I checked out THE 13th MAN, a WW2-era thriller about an Army comic book nerd who helps crack a case regarding Nazi agents on American soil.  All music to my ears.

Wow.  This thing is just amazing.  Incredibly well-written.  A genuine page-turner.  Phenomenal story-telling.  My only two gripes: keeping track of some of the G-men characters, and a clever plot twist at the end.  While I did like the twist, and realize it does help hold the rest of the story together, would it all work if that whole subplot didn’t exist?  Maybe.  But I’m not the writer, so I can’t really say.

I’d give it a definite 9 out of 10.  Maybe 9.5.  I only hope the other 10 scripts I’ve got lined up are as entertaining.

One of the things screenwriters always hear is to not just write your own script, but read others.  It’s one thing to read the script for a film that’s been made, or an old favorite.  But reading an unproduced script that is actually circulating around Hollywood, or maybe won some competition(s) really helps open your eyes and shows you what works, while also showing how you could improve your own.

A common occurrence in THE 13TH MAN is that the hero not only repeatedly finds himself in a conflict, that conflict keeps building, and then builds some more, and then even more.  It keeps getting worse, and he has to keep changing how he tackles the problem.  He doesn’t always come out on top, because that would be boring.  But each conflict he survives helps lead into the next one, or maybe has the big payoff thirty, fifty or seventy-five pages later.

I’d love to know how long it took Enio Rigolin from start to finish.  It only got 9 mentions on The Black List, which is a shame.  Then again, I really like this sort of thing, so I’m biased.

Hopefully I’ll be able to support this argument after reading a few more of the Black List scripts, but if Hollywood made more smart, well-written films out of these scripts, the industry would be so much better off.  Treat your audience like intelligent adults!  You’d be surprised how rewarding it can be.  Once they get a taste of it, they’ll want more.  At least I would.

One last thing.  If I were in charge of casting for THE 13TH MAN, the first name crossed off my list for the lead would be Shia LaBeouf.  He may look like the ideal nerdy soldier, but I still have issues with him as the son of Indiana Jones.

Besides, they should have used Frank Darabont’s script for that one in the first place, but that’s another post.

Movie of the Moment: KIKI’S DELIVERY SERVICE. My first exposure to Miyazaki from way back, and now it’s part of our family library. Utterly charming and just plain fun to watch for grown-ups and kids; the American cast does a good job, but sometimes the original Japanese with subtitles is equally enjoyable.  Most important: V loves it, which is quite reassuring.

My suggestion: If the European element appeals to you, I highly suggest STEAMBOY, Otomo’s underrated follow-up to AKIRA.

A step back, but that’s good

Maximum Z Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting, Veronica

Making good progress on the outline.  Up to just past page 45.

But my creativeness keeps nagging me to expand on the third of three subplots, which I need to do anyway.  It really needs the most work.

I went through what I have so far (as part of my standard condensing of each scene into 1-2 sentences) and realized I’d forgotten that while I want both bad guys to be bad, the first one needs to be REALLY bad.  Even better, they’re so much more fun to write.

So for the time being, progress beyond the halfway point is on hold while I reconfigure the story to accomodate the changes I want to make.

Can’t explain it, but I relish the challenge.  Very much so.

Movie of the Moment: A double hit covering the past few days. Watched CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS with V.  I liked it a lot; clever, good animation and jokes, and good writing.  In her usual way, V didn’t want to watch it, but then really got into it.  This happens a lot with her.  Someday she’ll just accept the fact that I won’t let her watch crap (the exception being the live-action LAST AIRBENDER – that was HER idea).

The other film was THE BOOK OF ELI.  I almost turned it off after the first 20 minutes because nothing really seemed to be happening, and the washed-out look got annoying.  But I gave it a chance.  It got better, and had a really great twist at the end.  Still hard to imagine Denzel Washington as an action star, but he did a pretty good job.

Leaps and bounds!

Maximum Z Dan Fogelman, Lucy Steele, outlines, plot, screenwriting, scriptshadow, story, Veronica

Apparently not being able to work while AT work has its benefits.  Or at least work on MY stuff.

V had a hockey game yesterday morning (which they won 6-0, including a killer performance by their amazing goalie), but there was a lot of downtime before the puck dropped, so I made the most of it by once again barreling my way through the latest part of LUCY’s Act Two.

Once I abandoned the Mormon wagon train idea, things really seemed to take off.  I got our heroes into a new situation, while figuring out how to have everything work towards the latest plotpoint of the Page 45 twist.

And it worked.  So much so that I was able to have more things happen BEYOND that, and I’ve even started working on a way to bring not only one bad guy, but BOTH into the situation, so everything culminates in a wonderfully big mash-up at the halfway point.  Goosebumps, I tell ya!

Honestly, I’m really happy with the way things are progressing.  Of course, I have no idea where I’ll be in the story, say, a week or two from now, or what will be happening in the story, but that’s the point of this outline.  Figure out what works, what doesn’t, and what might.

I also keep reminding myself that there’s still a long way to go, but oh, what a hell of a journey it’s turning into.

Movie of the Moment: I took V and her best friend to see TANGLED yesterday.  Really impressive, but I think the adults in the audience liked it more than the kids did.  We don’t have issues with all that kissy-lovey stuff.

And I couldn’t help but look at it from the writer’s point of view.  Some textbook stuff here and there, but the writer, Dan Fogelman, who’s written a few other Disney films, is well-known for being somebody who can really make you FEEL for the characters (at least according to Carson Reeves at Scriptshadow).  I thought he did a great job.

And even better, V has no desire whatsoever to see the horrendous-looking YOGI BEAR.  We’s raising that child right.

Taking back control

Maximum Z 3-D, Avatar, James Cameron, outlines, plot, Robert McKee, screenwriting

Super-busy this afternoon, so not much time to work on LUCY.  I did, however, discover a solution to a problem that has been bothering me for a few days.

I can’t remember exactly how it goes, but there’s this screenwriting tenet that basically advises the writer to not let the characters take over how the story progresses.  It’s up to me to steer things the way they’re supposed to go.

And when I was working on the handful of scenes I developed yesterday, I wasn’t the one in charge.  After I wrote out my little 1-2-sentence scene description, something felt…slightly off.  How would I get Lucy out of this set-up and closer to where I want/need her to be?  And didn’t we just finish up a thrilling action sequence?  There needs to be time to let the audience catch their breath.  I’m not Michael Bay, storming from one hard-to-tell-what’s-going-on sequence to the next.

I was NOT driving this bus, so to speak.

Although I was busy doing other stuff today, I used every chance I had to think about where I left off in the story and what was wrong with it.  It took a while, but I realized why I was stuck.

I had too much going on.  The story needed to slow down.  And since another screenwriting tenet is “kill your darlings,” that’s what I’m going to have to do with the couple of scenes I worked on yesterday.  While the idea of Lucy joining up with a wagon train of Mormons may seem brilliant now, I want to avoid falling into the trap of “then this happens, and then this, then this and then this…” and work more on making it “this happens, which leads to this, which leads to this, etc.”

Much as I dislike Robert McKee, he’s got a valid point with his rule that one scene should lead into the next; don’t just have things happen at random.

That’s what I need to focus on for the time being.  I’ve got a lot of ideas and potential happenings ready for this script, but I want it to flow along…organically.

Like no other scene could follow that one EXCEPT the one coming up next.

My work is so cut out for me.

Movie of the Moment:  It seems like HBO is running AVATAR every 5 minutes.  I saw it in the theatres and came out thinking DANCES WITH ALIENS.  Same plot, but very good in execution.  I turned it on today as the military is flying in to destroy the giant electric weeping willow.

Since she has no desire to see it, I briefly explained to K what was going on.  While the story was a bit on the familiar side, I really give Cameron credit for making it look fantastic.  It was fun playing ‘real or cg?’

It was also a little evident that this was made for 3-D.  There are lots of obligatory “in your face” shots, but watching it today I was reminded of how he uses it to make everything seem real.  The little floaty glow-in-the-dark mushroom/dandelion things.  Particles of dust in the air.  The 3-D is there to emphasize the scene, not cash in on a hopefully-dying trend.

Which could be why when you see ‘in 3-D” at the end of a trailer, chances are fairly high the audience will let out a collective groan.

Studios take note: 3-D only when necessary!

Oh, and original stories of interesting characters that don’t treat the audience like idiots.   Yeah, I know. Dream on, kid.

Not so fast, mental block!

Maximum Z Back to the Future, blog, characters, Dreamship, outlines, screenwriting, ScriptQuack, story

Once again, my productivity levels go up when I’m supposed to be doing something else.

This time it was V’s hockey practice.  While my incredible child was working on stopping shots in goal, I sat in the stands with pen and paper, determined to get through the latest bout of writer’s block.

I think I’m on my way.

I managed to come up with an exciting end to a scene that originally seemed kind of boring.  I came up with a better way to introduce the infamous bounty hunter much earlier in the story; this also necessitates and hastens the inevitable rewriting of Act One.  Which is okay.

But I worry the focus on the main character is being drawn away by the ever-developing subplots.  Granted, some of the short scenes I was coming up with are very, very short, but it’s really important that the reader/viewer is always thinking “Will Lucy succeed?”, and especially when she’s NOT in the scene.  (Case in point: I think there’s one or two scenes in Back to the Future WITHOUT Marty McFly.)

So for now, I keep plugging away.  I’m hoping to get to the midpoint by the end of the year.  There are a few weekend shifts as part of that, so that will definitely help.

-A very big thanks to everybody who took a look at this blog over the past few days.  I had a whopping 19 (most ever!) people visit on Wednesday, and that’s a lot.  I hope you’re getting as much enjoyment out of reading this as I do in writing it.

And as always, comments and questions are highly encouraged.

-I haven’t had a chance to start reading my Black List scripts yet.  That may fall under that weekend category as well.  Either GANGSTER SQUAD or THE 13TH MAN will be first.

-While work on LUCY is chugging along (ooh, a train reference!), I keep forgetting I have these great notes on DREAMSHIP from the fine folks at www.scriptquack.com (highly recommended, but I don’t think they’ve put up my testimonial yet).  I’d really like to enter it in next year’s Nicholl, so I gotta get my ass in gear and get to work.  Looks like I may have to go the Stephen King route and work on each one on alternating days.

That’s right.  This never ends.