After weeks of agonizing self-doubt and re-examining of whether or not the outline works, I may have stumbled onto the solution I’ve been looking for.
And I owe it all to a guy I’ve never met.
During some of my downtime earlier today, I was checking out some of the screenwriting blogs I like. Some of those led to links, which led to some I’ve checked out once in a while, to a few I’ve never seen.
This guy falls into the middle category.
Patrick Sweeney lives in the Sacramento area and runs the blog I Blame Ninjas. He wrote a script called GHOST TRAIN, which is also a western-adventure, but apparently with a more supernatural bent. I asked him if I could take a look and he sent it without hesitation. I plan on reading it tomorrow.
I also asked him what his logline was. He sent it. It is totally kick-ass, and put mine to shame; anything that includes the phrase ‘a train carrying phantom gunslingers to Hell’ has to be good. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, I realized mine could be almost as good. So I tinkered. Now I’m definitely closer to a better one than I was a few days ago.
It also got me thinking that my existing outline is NOT written in stone, and that I CAN make changes and take liberties and all that.
So I did.
Right now I’ve got a completely different beginning, which I like a lot. I still need to work on the rest of it.
And by reading a script review on Scriptshadow, I also discovered what had really been holding me back before in terms of my antagonist: his motivation. Why does he do what he does? For now, it’s one of the two standards: money or revenge. I’m not sure yet, but both have definite possibilities. He can’t just be bad because it suits the script.
I also thought of introducing yet another subplot about a treasure map (to tie in with that whole ‘money’ motivation), but I don’t need any more headaches over this thing, so I’ll stick with what I’ve got.
No Movie of the Moment today, but I’ve been enjoying the risque anime MOUSE about a cat burglar and his three buxom assistants. More or less PG-13 material, but typical Japanese sex humor and not for kids. Unless you’re a teenaged boy who gets a big kick out of skits on Benny Hill.
Amazingly, I’m not the one who put this on our Netflix queue. That honor goes to the lovely K. But I’m really grateful she did.