Year: 2010

Well, dog my cats!

Maximum Z analysis, Dreamship, screenwriting, ScriptQuack

About a month ago, I got an email telling me that the company known as Script Quack was following me on Twitter.  They do script analysis.  So no big deal.

A week after that, they posted a general tweet saying the price for the basic analysis package was reduced from $75 to $50.  Interesting.  Maybe this would benefit DREAMSHIP.  But there’s that cost thing.

Would it really be worth the money?  I’ve never had this done before, but I really like the script and want to know how to make it better.

I decided to bite the bullet and do it.  Hope the $50 is worth it.

The days go by.  I hear nothing back after a few days.

More days pass.  It’s approaching the one week mark.  I start to fear I have been taken by a con artist.  I even dream the end product came in the mail and was sitting on the dining room table (which it wasn’t).

Saturday comes and goes.  Still nothing.  I’m not feeling very positive about this.  I decide to wait until Wednesday to drop them a line.

Just to verify their legitimacy, I go to their website.  There on the homepage is the disclaimer “Get your notes back in under a week or they’re free!’

That’s interesting.

Sunday.  We’re getting ready to go to the airport to pick up K.

My phone DINGS!  New email.

And there are the notes.  Legitimacy verified.  I skim the opening.  They seem very enthusiastic about the script, which is nice.  I stop there, since we have to leave in a few minutes, and write back to them saying I haven’t looked at the notes yet, but gently bring up their disclaimer.  I run a worst-cast scenario where they try to weasel out of the deal.

A few hours later, I get an email saying I am right, that it took 8 days, I’m entitled to my refund, and I get to keep the notes.

And it ended up being free!

Even better, this is the start of a blueprint for a new draft of DREAMSHIP that, if done properly, could be sent back to the Nicholl next year.

Cool.

Epilogue:  I look at the notes.  Very detailed and helpful, even though they got the villain’s name wrong.  I printed them out for further study.

What’s really cool is that I can work on this and keep going on developing LUCY.  I may even be able to take lessons learned on the former and apply them to the latter.

Really cool indeed.

Movie of the Moment:  Not necessarily right now, but I watched IKIRU and FORT APACHE over the weekend.

IKIRU started out slow, but got very interesting as it moved along.  I was very surprised at some of the subject matter being discussed, especially for when it was set.  You’d never hear the word ‘diarrhea’ in an American film from the 50’s!

FORT APACHE was a typical John Ford western.  Henry Fonda did a good job, though.  John Wayne still had the swagger, albeit turned down.  But once you see a modern-era western (OPEN RANGE, DEADWOOD, etc), it’s hard to look at these and not think ‘why is everything so clean?’ and ‘why isn’t anybody swearing up a storm?’  A bit predictable, but still fun.

Slow, steady and all that

Maximum Z birthday, comic books, movies, outlines, plot, screenwriting, story, Uncategorized

No post yesterday because I was completely spent.  Wiped.  Totally pooped.  There wasn’t much to write about anyway, since I didn’t get to do any writing.

Today, which also happens to be my birthday, saw a little progress on LUCY.

I tightened up the first 10 pages, and am now moving on into that 10-17 range.  I have to keep reminding myself that everything is still in the ‘putting together’ phase, and not to stress out about it.

It’s easy to forget that this is one of the harder parts of the whole process.  Almost a ‘throw everything at the wall and see what sticks’ method.  Seeing what works and what doesn’t.

Most of all, I can’t get discouraged.  That would be too easy, but it’s also not an option.

Movie of the Moment:  I finished THE LOVELY BONES earlier today. I watched it over the course of three days.  At 2:10, it probably could have been about 20 minutes shorter and still worked.

I liked the concept, but there was a little too much ‘Hey, check this out’ in terms of what was going on with the dead girl in the afterlife.  Also a lot of expository narration and odd metaphoric images.

I didn’t read the book, so can’t compare them.  The subplot about the mother running away didn’t really seem to accomplish much, and it’s a shame they wasted Susan Sarandon in such a comedic way.  I do recall Stanley Tucci was nominated for Best Supporting Actor, and I guess that works.  His character is really creepy, but I don’t know if it warrants a nomination.

SUPERMAN is on Encore, and Glenn Ford just died. How can you not get choked up at that?  But in the scene where Clark tells his mom he’s leaving, Phylis Thaxter’s makeup looks awful and unrealistic.

That being said, this really is an outstanding template for what a comic book movie should be like.  Too bad Bryan Singer blew it with SUPERMAN RETURNS.  Man, that was boring.

Little by little

Maximum Z Netflix, outlines, plot, Raiders of the Lost Ark, screenwriting, westerns

School was back in session today, which let me get back to work on LUCY.

The first act is slowly coming together, emphasis on ‘slowly’.

My problem seems to be trying to fit scenes into the standard form.  And that might not work for this.

I’m concerned I’m throwing too much action at the viewer, rather than setting everything up so it can be paid off later.  Take RAIDERS, for example.  The opening sequence shows Indy in his element and all his expertise (and quite well, I might add).  Then we go to the college to show him in another element, followed by the expository scene where he (and we) learn about the Ark from the G-men.

Maybe part of my problem is I feel married to my original plot points and am trying to shoehorn everything in to make it fit, rather than be willing to bend a little and try to flesh out the story.

And I don’t have to do that.  For now, the plot points are guidelines and NOT written in stone. While I like the way the story is developing, it really feels like it needs more set-up and less “hey, check this out!”

It seems a bit daunting right now, but I bet the more I work on it, it’ll come together a little easier.  At least, I hope that’s what’ll happen.

Movie of the Moment: I don’t remember how it popped into my Netflix queue, but there’s this British pseudo-holiday miniseries called HOGFATHER from author Terry Pratchett.  It’s kind of an alternate universe where the Santa-like Hogfather is missing (possibly dead?), and Death takes over the job, while an aspiring assassin tries to off the aforementioned Hogfather.  It’s a mash-up of Dickens, fairy tales, Monty Python and Hitchcock.  It’s better than I expected.

I started watching it by myself, but V was intrigued and sat down about 20 minutes in.  She was quite mesmerized and we watched the rest of part 1 together.  We’ll see how it goes for part 2 tomorrow.

Urgh

Maximum Z blog, outlines, screenwriting, Veronica

K left the country today, and with California short of money, V had no school, which meant she was home.  All day.

She did her reading homework, we played Monopoly Junior, we watched some TV (including the Giants winning the World Series – yay!), but what it also meant was I didn’t get any writing done.

And I don’t like that part.  The Dad part I love.  Not writing, I don’t.

But I get the rest of the week, so that should work out okay.

-Movie of the Moment: Season 1 of MODERN FAMILY. Very funny.  I can see why it won the Emmy for Best Comedy.

-I just realized.  This is November, which means I’ve been doing a fairly passable job of keeping this thing going for almost 4 months.  While it was hard in the beginning, I actually look forward to it now.

Next up – more readers!  Somehow.

And he’s off!

Maximum Z outlines, plot, screenwriting, story

I managed to start putting together Act One.  Even though I only have approximately five scenes, and each one is basically a sketch of an idea, that’s more than I had yesterday.

And that’s nice.

Is it wrong for me to say the more I work on this, the more I look forward to working on it?  While I rack my brain trying to figure out what should come next, I keep referring to examples of what I’m trying to accomplish in each scene.

The opening where we meet our hero?  See the introduction of Indiana Jones in RAIDERS.  Is the villain a badass (Chigur in NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN), or incompetent fop (not sure about that one)?

How many members are in the gang?  Should there be a love interest?  Can the proposed bounty hunter be likable or a complete mystery?

Questions to be answered for each scene, more into each sequence and none of it is easy.  Part of the fun of the writing is figuring things out.  At least it is for me.  I also like trying to stay ahead of the reader/audience so they can’t figure things out too easily.

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned it here, but just in case, here it is again.  BACK TO THE FUTURE is my gold standard.  To me that is a perfect screenplay.  You can go on and on about CHINATOWN, which is also mega-impressive, but to me, BTTF is what I aspire to.  There really is nothing unnecessary in it.

Everything that is set up has a payoff, no matter how big or small.  I’ve read that co-writer Bob Gale worked super-hard on making sure everything worked.  And boy, does it.

THAT’S what I’d like this be like.

Will it?  I was about to say ‘probably not,’ but something tells me there is a slight, remote, kind-of possibility it could.  Maybe.

And that would be, of course, AWESOME.

But first I need to get past page five.